You Must Be a Natural

I hear this all the time. People seem to think that because I choose to be at home with my children and especially because we homeschool that I must have an extra dose of something. It's gotten to the point that it almost irritates me to hear that. Why? Because I know I'm not a natural. In fact, everything about how I live my life now compared to where I've come from is a choice.

You have to understand. I was a single parent before I was out of my teens. My life was built completely around "making it" and that included working as I had myself and a baby girl to support. I didn't want to live my life like this. All of my friends were kicking back, starting their life worry free. Not me. I was a twenty-something young black woman doing my best to get ahead because I had to. It was a choice.

Everything that I had went into making a way for myself and getting ahead. I moved around a bit looking for a job that was a right fit. When I found myself at an money management firm, I realized I had a good job and stayed put. I learned to love this job. It was a life-sucking job. Most Wall Street jobs are. I arrived before 7 a.m. and there was pressure to stay after 6 p.m. I did what I could. A job that I despised originally because of the tough work life quickly became a way to make an excellent living. I got promoted and wound up 3 years later as a VP, researching publicly traded companies to evaluate them for entry into the portfolio. I learned to love this job. Why? A great salary, wonderful bonuses, and I had worked my way up to being important. I had arrived.

Then...I met my husband.

He is in the entertainment industry and travels quite a bit. We decided that we would never see each other if we both worked the way we did, something had to go. I went part time on my job. This lasted for two months. It never failed. When I was home, he'd be gone. When he was home, I had to work. I decided to come home.

I was excited about coming home. I regretted not being able to be all there and I had quickly grown tired of balancing my job and the new family we were trying to blend.

That excitement was the initial shot of adrenalin. Being at home was the hardest job I'd ever done. I put my all into being at home because that's how I've always operated. When I have something to accomplish, I give it my all. Why did my family deserve any less?

I learned to decorate. I learned to cook. I learned to keep house. I learned work in the yard.

Then enter babies. We've added two little boys since or union. This catapulted me into another dimension of motherhood. I had never actually been at home with my oldest daughter. I knew nothing about potty training, setting up a home routine, teaching my children to mind, etc.

I learned. I'm still learning.

But this is from the girl who had learned to be committed to corporate life - the same girl who had gotten used to a lot of perks, recognition, and MONEY. Life on one income is doable but very few who choose this life are rich.

I enjoy my children because I chose to commit my life to raising people of character. I've learned to enjoy them.

I enjoy cleaning house...NOT BECAUSE I LIKE TO CLEAN...but because I have learned to do what I have to do for the sake of the people who live in my home.

I have learned to enjoy cooking...because I have chosen to put the health and nutrition of those under my care ahead of my desire to eat out.

I have learned to enjoy teaching my children. My husband and I choose to be completely responsible to God alone for the spiritual and intellectual education they receive and this is the best option for our family at this time. I chose homeschooling before I thought I would be able to stand being around them all the time.

There is a spiritual concept anytime something appears natural. You do what you know you should do. The feelings come later.

If I look like I'm a natural. It's because I've learned to be.

What do you want to be naturally gifted to do? Do you think it is out of your reach? Learn to do it. Work at doing it. You'd be surprirsed what then can come naturally.

Philippians 4.13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

The question is not and has never been, what do I want to do, but instead...what does Christ want me to do. Whatever it is...he will provide the know-how and the will power to get it done.