The Terrible Housekeeper

So I've been MIA from my blog for about three weeks. A few days turned into a week that then turned into another week, followed by another. What have I been doing? Well, I'll try to shed a little light on that over the next few days.

One MAJOR thing that I've been doing is simply trying CLEAN MY HOUSE. I've been making a real effort to catch up and get back to a groove of some kind. Let me confess...my house has been a mess. I've been actually fairly embarrassed about the condition of my home especially following a visit from my Daddy. Let me give you a little background.

I'm usually fairly comfortable with the state of my home. Because we homeschool, I don't ever expect my home to look like it came out of magazine. I have gone through a series of adjustments in my expectations over the last few years so that I can stay sane. My philosophy is that "my house should be clean enough to be healthy, but messy enough to be lived in"(quote borrowed from an online acquaintance).

I, along with three kids, are at home at least 4 days a week...all day. Two of those kiddos are under the age of five. My house is not going to stay pristine just because I clean all the time. And I don't want to clean all the time. I strive for balance between being a good mom, teacher, cook, wife, and homemaker. I'll trade a random opportunity to bounce around on the trampoline with my kids than to scrub the baseboards anyday.

So, a few of my comprimises are as follows:

1. I aim for a clean kitchen twice a day. Three times is a luxury. Even so, I always expect there to be dishes in the sink. (Our dishwasher is on the blink)
2. I shoot for a mopped floor two times a week, unless otherwise necessary. It's just too depressing to mop the floor only to find in just a few hours that it doesn't like like I did anything.
3. I try to hit each room in my house once a week on a rotating schedule. What does this mean? My house is not clean all at the same time.
   
4. Laundry is always going. I do about a load a day.
   
5. My carpet is not every going to look new. No matter how many rules I make about food and drink staying in the kitchen. It just doesn't happen. What can I say? I'm training the littles but they haven't gotten it completely. I'm also trying to train my bigs but...well...
6. The surfaces in common areas should be neat, but don't have to be empty. My teenager does school at the computer, my littles do school at the table, we congregate at the island...in short we are all over the place. As we transition to the dinner hour, I shoot for things in their place. If I can't have that then I shoot for neat piles.
7. Oh...and the baseboards. I get to 'em when I get to 'em.
   

Now here's my problem. These are rules I'm comfortable with. When I have a visitor, I'm completely thrown into a panic. Why? I don't want to leave a bad impression of the kind of housekeeper I am. I'm already weird because I homeschool my children. I don't want to be weirder because I'm home and my home is out of order.

So imagine my dismay when my Dad showed up to visit and proceeded to inspect my house. I kid you not when I tell you that he went from room to room, each time saying, "Oh, Chrystal!" in a loud display of disbelief. Now, granted, the day he came was a bad day. It was right before lunch and I hadn't even had a chance to straighten up before he arrived. In fact, it was a Monday. Mondays are always the worst. He commented on the spots in the carpet, the dishes in the sink, the stuff on my countertops, the baskets of unfolded clothes in the hallway, and then he even peeked in my bedroom and saw the confusion in there. He peeked his head into my refrigerator and groaned at the sticky stuff on the top shelf.

I found myself following him around the house, explaining, explaining, and explaining some more.

It's a terrible feeling to think that you are giving something your all and that it is still not enough. But then again, most mothers and definitely homeschooling mothers, have felt this way at one time or another.

So, how does it end? Well, my Dad sent a housekeeper, his own cleaning service, over to my house to give it a once over. He also told me to get my carpets cleaned at his expense.

Now, I have a lot of pride. I hate the idea that I can't do it all. I hate accepting help and I hate the thought that someone thinks I'm not doing a good job. Truth is though, that little boost was needed and appreciated. It saved me hours (probably days) of work and gave me an opportunity to focus on things that needed my personal attention.

I had time, time to catch up on balancing my bank accounts, time to plan ahead for school, and time to take a nap! Instead of doing dishes, I was able to make some much needed phone calls to insurance companies and doctors. I got a chance to scrub that graffiti on the side of my house (more on that later). I had lots of time to thoroughly finish planning for my daughter's Sweet 16. Those are things a cleaning service can't do but that I COULD.

This little boost and injection of more available time in my schedule got me going. I was on a roll. I just started barreling through my list and got caught up in getting things DONE! Crossing things off of my list is one the best feelings in the world! The feeling of completing something quickly superceded my need to blog!

I do know a handful of ladies who are good housekeepers....GREAT in fact. I have spent many a puzzled day, trying to figure out with my husband HOW THEY DO IT?!?! Here's what I've learned. We all have 24 hours in a day. If someone else's home is always pristine it has to do with how they spent her time. My friend with the beautiful home and four homeschooled children has children all over the age of 12. She is running around to basketball and soccer practice, but she also has lots of help. Another friend with a gorgeous home, has children that spend three days a week at a mother's day out. My friend who makes gourmet meals has her kids in school all day.

I also have a friend whose home is always in disarray but she enjoys her children and plays with them quite a bit more than I play with mine :) They are always outside playing, or inside working on some neat craft. She has the most creative kids!

It's all about what is important and how we choose to recognize that importance with our time.

I choose to live somewhere in the middle right now. That's what I am...a "mom in the middle". I have a teenager, a preteen, a preschool, and a toddler. That is a stretch that will kill you if you let it. I keep my littles going in the morning, only to put them down for a nap in the afternoon and then start working on Algebra 2 with my teenager. If I try and put my housework first at all costs, something else that is important would suffer. So I just do my best.

THAT'S ALL ANY OF US CAN DO...DO YOUR BEST!

We are all a work in progress. So Moms...(and I'm talking to myself too)...

STOP FEELING GUILTY!

• Do the best you can. Keep your eyes on the Lord and take care of your home and your family for His Glory. He will guide and direct you and let you know how to get done what is important to Him, when it is important to Him.

• Cut out the things that you can live without that cut into the time you have for more important things (TV, phone, unnecesary computer time...OUCH)

• Pray! Pray about how God would have you to keep your home. He says that we should be anxious for NOTHING. He also says that He freely gives wisdom...So ask!
  

Remember Mary & Martha? It is so easy for us as women to focus on the doing and not on the most important thing. Cooking is important, cleaning is important, but don't let it be a stumbling block that keeps you from what focusing on what matters for eternity.

...and PRAY about how God would have you to keep your home. The Word says that,

Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God

The Word also says that,

James 1:5 (NASB)

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

So ask for his help and guidance! He's God and He orders the universe. I'm sure that he can help you order your home!

And thanks Daddy for the help...and I'll try to be a better housekeeper. But just know that the carpet won't look pristine for too much longer. Somebody is bound to spill something soon!