I didn't make egg nog...
The outside lights never made it on to the bushes...
We didn't make salt dough ornaments...
We didn't have another family over to fellowship with for the holidays...
I didn't feel like cooking so there were not a constant smell of freshly baked goods coming from the kitchen...
We did go to look at Christmas lights but right when we got to the entrance, the neighborhood viewing time came to an end so we never made it to the really good displays...
We did make it to the special train exhibit but we were running late and Daddy didn't get to go in with us (he had to catch a flight)...
We never got around to celebrating Advent, reading our special book and counting down the days towards Christmas...
Not one time, did I read the Christmas story from the Bible to my kids (I'm a heathen, I know)
We did borrow books from the library. We borrowed five. I read from two of them - one time each...
Chaos slowly erupted as everyone slowly fell out of their routines, chores, and daily habits...
Christmas shopping did get done, albeit at the last minute, and the budget well...was there a budget?...
There were some girlfriends that always come over during the holidays to share Egg Nog Lattes with me. We never connected...
and the list goes on...
And now, here I am, on the other side of January 1 and in a new year - 2008.
What happened, where did the time go, how did I get caught so off guard?
I'll tell you what happened. Life's been happening. Between homeschooling, two kids in three different kinds of therapy, extra jobs for extra money, Bible study, keeping house, etc, etc....LIFE IS HAPPENING IN SURROUND SOUND.
No matter which way I turn, I'm bombarded with things to do, things to accomplish, things to finish.
And no, they are NEVER finished. Life keeps happening and keeps getting in the way of ability to fully prepare for and enjoy the current season.
Last year, I had grand aspirations of slowing down and that never happened. Why? Because I kept doing the next thing. And life just keeps happening. There is always one more thing to do. One more person to support. One more program to participate in. One more place that I could be. Life keeps coming.
Let me let you in on a little secret that I'm really learning and grabbing a hold of...
Life does stop or slow down...but I can. My desire to be still enough to hear the still small voice of God doesn't get fulfilled because I wish it be so. I am able to attain peace, simplicity, and stillness in my life because I make the choices that are required to achieve this state. My inability to fully engage in the current season has to do with the choices that I make to fit in the things that matter.
There are so many times where I've heard people say that they don't know where the years went, or that time passed way too quickly, or that they wish they wouldn't have been in so much of a hurry. This is the state of living where most of us reside. We are always running, just trying to make it to the next thing, or pass through the current landscape. We are just trying to make it and struggling to stay afloat. We are living, constantly challenged to fully engage in the current season of life.
I believe with all of my heart that it doesn't have to be this way. It is possible to smell the flowers and enjoy the journey. In my mid-thirties, I'm just now realizing how challenging that can be in the society in which we live. We are encouraged to rush, to go, and to do. We are not encouraged to be.
Just like Christmas and New Years came upon me suddenly and unexpectedly, Jesus worns us in the Bible of not being ready for his return.
Matthew 24:36-44 (NIV)
The Day and Hour Unknown
"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left."Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.
He also worns us of being busy doing this that don't matter and missing Him.
Luke 10:38-42 (NIV)
At the Home of Martha and Mary
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!""Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
My challenge over the next couple of weeks will be to figure out what exactly it is that I'm doing that gets in my way of having room in my life to watch for him and to do what matters. My challenge will be to make different choices and to stop doing some things out of habit and start doing other things on purpose.
My challenge will be to stop allowing the ebb and flow of life from determining the flow of my own life.
And it is a challenge. I am a self-confessed doer, an achiever, and a "check-off-my-list" kind of person. But this is my desire. I'm slowly waking up on the other side of Holiday Season '07 and coming to realize that it's over and I just made it by the skin of my teeth.
With all of my heart, I do not want to slowly wake up on the other side of Chrystal's Season on earth and realize that I just made it, challenged beyond repair by the demands of the world on my time. I want to overcome. I want to flourish. I want to be on top of the things that matter in my life - the things that matter to God for this one life he has given me to live. I want to make life-altering, life-giving, life-changing CHOICES. What are those choices? That's what I'll be praying about seriously for a few days in the immediate future.
Lord help me to learn the discipline of stillness, of looking, waiting, and watching for you. I don't want to miss where you are and what you are doing. I don't want to realize after you have moved that you were at work and I was too busy to notice. Help me know what choices to make to align myself with your purposes and plans.
I need Thee how I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O Bless me now my Savior
I come to Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O Bless me now my Savior
I come to Thee
8 comments:
Whoa! I hear you! And I feel you!
Isn't it amazing how quickly time flies. The sad thing about time flying is that is flies away never to return. I purpose to spend my time this year focusing on the important things in life. I don't want Christ to come and my family and I are not prepared. I've decided that everything that comes in between preparing ourselves for His return is not worth it and out the door it goes! Let's hold one another accountable as we make our daily choices as Women of God, Wives, Mothers, Friends, Sisters, Aunts, Nieces and the list goes on.
Well sister, I'm right there with you.
Life in surround sound. I love it. It is so true!
Here is to a better year for BOTH of our families, and that we'll both be still long enough to hear that still small voice.
My Christmas season was hectic and chaotic and I feel like nothing good was accomplished. Ditto for all of 2007. Something's gotta give.
My fist step was to trash all my plans. I still have to work and cook and clean and care for the family, but all the rest is negotiable. What good is attending a Bible study if I'm not attending to my Lord?
I'm seeing what living one day at a time looks like. It's scary, but God's plans are better than mine.
I can't wait to see what God is going to do!
God bless you and your New Year!
Yes! to your vision of deliberate living. I'm going to be thinking on this when I feel that drowning feeling again. (Shouldn't be to long from now) :^)
Found you through Lindsey and had to read longer as soon as I saw you were from "North Texas." :) I lived in Denton for 5-6 years.
We've just moved and are building and homeschooling and EVERYTHING this year has been a little INSANE...I feel like I'm just pulling my life out of all the boxes I've packed our stuff in...lol... Anyways, just a hug and sqeeze to say, "I know the feeling." :) When you have a pile of kids, sometimes everything just blurs... What's that proverb about how the stalls are nice and tidy when there aren't any cattle, but with much oxen comes a much bigger harvest! :)
I always hold tight to the OT verse that says "He gently leads those with lambs," because it tells me that He knows the special sort of strain that happens when you are mothering a pile of little ones...I worship Him in the wildness of trying to keep up with what seems like a gabillion, "Mom!" "Hey, Momma!" "Mommy, I need you..."
I saw the book Family Driven Faith in your sidebar for sale. I just finished reading it and my husband is reading it now. I assume you have read it...LOVED IT! Very convicted and waiting for my husband to finish so we can discuss our convictions and make plans. I would love to hear your thoughts...BLessings, Kelli
What heartfelt and insightful writing Chrystel! So, so true. And your desire to turn it around inspires me, and I wish you peace and strength to do it!!
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