An Angel In My Backyard

I was crashing and crashing fast. After a reeling and wild holiday season, coupled with surgery for my youngest son, my house was spinning out of control. I was sleep deprived, short on energy, and short on hours in my day. My husband was traveling so much of what was on my plate I had to do myself but he was so sensitive about my state. His solution? I needed help.

BUT I DIDN'T WANT HELP.

I was proud confident in my ability to run my household myself. I was convinced that I shouldn't need assistance with my duties as a wife and mother. I've always worked under pressure. I've always been able to keep more than a few plates spinning. In fact, I love the adrenaline rush from just meeting a deadline. I liked my life and didn't want anyone else in the picture to share the glory job that was supposed to be mine.

I listed off all the women in my life that don't have help. All of the women who I know to be superwomen or who would get help if they could but can't afford it. Whatever their case may be...it was mine too. I like being a superwoman and I CAN'T afford it.

Besides, we had tried helpers/babysitters here and there over a few years and it just drove me insane to have someone else in my space. I'd clean up before the cleaning people came, or I'd find mindless activities for the person to do while I cleaned up my kitchen! I was too embarrassed to let someone clean my bathroom, and I didn't like the idea of someone vacuuming my floor - they didn't do it like me! Even when the helper was available to spend some time with my little ones so that I could do other things that only I could do, my heart would race at the thought of someone else endearing themselves to my boys.

This is all from the same lady that 15 years ago dropped her baby girl off at the sitter at age 3 weeks and left her everyday all day from 7am to 6pm. This is all from the same lady who hired cleaning people to clean an 800 sq. ft. apartment. Maybe the pendulum swung too far the other way?

I sat in front of my computer following that discussion, paying bills into the wee hours of the morning. Somewhere between 2 - 3 am, I sighed and verbally said to the Lord, "If you want me to have help, you are going to have to bring the person to me".

Enter Emerald, the Angel in My Backyard.

Emerald, I know you are gonna hate this photo.
Take a good one next time you come over and I'll replace it!

I know Emerald from my church. I lead Praise & Worship every now and then and she sings with me. Well, Emerald called me one day out of the blue and left me a message. I didn't think anything of it but I did wonder what she needed as we were not currently working on any upcoming ministry. I received another message from her later in the same week. Seeing that the phone calls were a little out of the ordinary, I called her back promptly after the second message. Emerald told me that she'd had a dream that she was at my house helping me with the boys. She wanted to know if I needed help. You know what my answer was. Emerald went on to say that the next morning after this dream, she went to work and got laid off.

Oh, I get it. She needs some extra money and she thinks I'm rich.

I flat out told her that although Jessie would love for me to have an extra pair of hands, we really didn't have any money for that right now. Emerald told me that she still wanted to help me. She felt that her dream was from the Lord and had nothing to do with money.

WHAT!?!?!? OK Lord, what are you trying to pull?

We agreed that she could come and visit a couple of times during the holidays to help me get over my hump and to see if she would like hanging out in our household.

That will be the last straw. Once she gets here and sees firsthand how "nutso" I am, she'll never want to work here. Ms. Emerald will be blasted by the severity of my Type A-ness and run for cover!

So Emerald came. She saw. She worked. She came back....? She came. She saw. She worked again....and then asked me about working out a regular schedule for the upcoming months.

OK Lord, so you are gonna FORCE this down my throat?

We agreed to continue on our little journey together and I told her I would get back with her on the amount I could pay.

Surely, that will be the end of the road...

I came back to here a week later with an ungodly, low hourly amount. She said that was fine.

Unheard of...

So, Emerald has been coming, every week, to help me. She is nothing short of amazing. She gets "me" and seeks to do things around the house the way I want them done. My kiddos (teens and tots) love her and she has been nothing short of a Godsend.

Emerald is in school and needed a REAL job to pay for tuition, books, cell phone, and car pymt. She works 20 hours a week at that job and still helps me for the measley amount of money I can give her.

Lord, you are nothing short of amazing...

Not only did he bring me Emerald to me ( I never in a million years would have thought of her as a helper option - even if I was looking), but he brought me just what I needed.

Emerald has now been helping me for two months. She has made things flow smoother throughout our day. She has a knack for things that embellish what I'm doing in my home and with my children. Emerald always goes the extra mile. She is a hard worker and doesn't mind doing ANYTHING I ask her to do (but I still haven't had her do my bathroom). I am blessed.

I don't know how long the Lord will allow me to keep her but I needed her NOW and I'm grateful for His gift to me. He knew what I needed for this season.

So, I know you are asking...WHY IN THE WORLD IS CHRYSTAL TELLING ME THIS!?!?!

Two reasons: First of all, we moms (especially homeschooling moms) have got to get off of this I-can-do-it-all kick. As a recovering do-it-all-aholic, I am attempting to let go of the expectations I have of myself and rest in the Lord's expectations for me. Secondly, God is in the business of showing us He loves us. Who'd of really thunk that God would respond to my pitiful, sarcastic request for help at dark-thirty last November.