Women in Ministry - (Response Part IV)

If you didn't get a chance to read Part I or Part II or Part III of Mrs. Broggi's response to my letter and questions, be sure and get caught up before reading today's post!

You wrote:

It seems a bit harsh. Maybe it should be....maybe because there are so many unbalanced women out there, you feel the need to shake them up a bit.

Yes, I know it was a bit harsh. And yes, it was a tough thing to write about. I copy/pasted the next four paragraphs from my website in which I addressed this:

I took a risk when I submitted to my husband's leadership and posted this article. I know it. I wrote the journal after having had yet another conversation with a young mother who was contemplating taking a ministry position which would pull her from her home. It reminded me once again of the need for instructing God's women of His high and holy calling of wife and mother - which is a fulltime job. There's a time to be silent and a time to speak. I had nothing to gain and everything to lose by writing and posting the article. I know that too. 

A few women have written and scolded me especially because I referenced four famous women. I accept it and respect them for it. I only named these women because they are in the public and have such huge followings. This is appropriate - just as it is appropriate for anyone to publicly reference and express disagreement with me. And please understand, I am not saying that these women are not sincere or that they are not good mothers. I'm sure they are both!

I wrote from a perspective I believe we need to think through and I also know that if I dish it out, I must be able to take it - not only take it but think it through myself. I know I won't be able to answer each of you personally but with time, I hope to write and post another journal to deal with issues that you have raised. Yet far more than the scoldings have been those mama's who have been encouraged. And their letters remind me to press on.

Over the years, when I have been asked to teach at women's events (which I occasionally accept), I am always asked, "What is your fee?" I have no fee . . . as least not the way most women think. My fee is to see children get their mama's back, husbands get their wives back, and churches get their older women back. My passion is to see us as women think, really think biblically as it concerns the way we live out what we say we believe rather than follow the trends in the culture. We've abandoned the home - on a tidal wave - a wave so huge that we just ride it without really thinking. We must - as believing women - think through the messages we are sending to a new generation of young women. We must place ourselves under the microscope of God's Word.

You wrote:

Can't we have both? Can't we have women who have raised their children helping us go deeper in the Word.

God has placed parameters around women's ministry. We need to spend more time helping women learn how to go deeper into the Word as it relates to biblical womanhood in all spheres of life.

You wrote:

Can't we have older women helping us to learn our jobs as mothers and giving us hope that one day we will have the option of doing other things as the Lord leads?

What other things are you speaking of? See, as a woman grows and learns her job as a mother - there will be a whole new generation of young mothers who need be taught and it is the older woman's job to teach, encourage, and train them. Still, your question sounds as though raising children is just something to get through and "hope for that one day when we will have the option of doing other things" - I personally don't ever want to get rusty in mothering - I am a grandmother now - I have a daughter-in-law and soon will have another (my oldest son is getting married in August) - my "mothering" will never be over or finished.

When all is said and done - I'll probably have 10 children instead of 5 if all of mine get married. Then if they accept God's norm of bringing children into the world - there will be another generation for me to pour my life into. It never ends in this life till Jesus comes. I better not ever get rusty.

You wrote:

When talking about Mrs. Lotz and Mrs. Briscoe, you discuss their frustration with mothering. Although I get your point about how they were not encouraged to find joy and fulfillment in mothering, do you honestly feel as though every women will LOVE IT? My sister struggles. She loves her children, she loves her family, but she doesn't love the job of mothering. After reading the article, it seems that you leave no room for women of all makes and temperaments. I do believe that mothering is a choice. I know older ladies that gave their children their all, but they are glad that season is over with. They don't miss the diapers, the dirty dishes, or constant laundry....but they were diligent and committed during that season.

I don't know your sister, but if I had some time with her, I would ask her why she struggles. And I would ask her if there is a misplaced longing to be somewhere other than where God has placed her. One of the biggest reasons so many young women struggle with mothering is because they are trying to do too many other things at the same time. They want it all. I know women with young children who are gifted Bible teachers and I tell them all the time - teach your children the Bible - teach children!

If your sister has a husband and children, they are her priority - they are her fulltime job - and a fulltime job cannot be done properly in a woman's spare time. It is not a hobby - it is a calling. If God has given children to your sister, then she is called to be a mother. And we have to ask God to give us the heart for it - an undivided heart. Yes, there are struggles with any calling and/or job. I immediately think of Jonah whom God had called to go to Ninevah but he did not want to go. His struggle with his calling didn't relieve him of his responsibility or his obedience to God.

Most women, I believe, just need a fresh perspective about this high and holy calling. God never promised us that being a wife or mother or homemaker would be easy. What job is? I mean, really? In fact, God's curse on women was in these very areas. God didn't change His plan because Eve sinned - she'd still be a helper to her husband and mother to children - yet now these areas in her life would bring struggle. This is the VERY REASON God says that young women must be taught even to love their husbands and children. This is the very reason older women are supposed to know doctrine as it relates to home and family. Temperaments have nothing to do with it. I constantly have to bring my feelings, attitudes, and selfishness under the scrutiny of God's Word. He is the One Who gave this calling to women. Not me.

I am a sinful fallen woman who wants what I want - yet God hasn't given up on me. Satan is always there tempting women to place everything and anything above His calling - even good, spiritual things.

Now, about your saying that you believe mothering is a "choice." Do you mean the choice to have children? Or the choice to mother them? Mothering is not a choice - God is the author of life. He is the One Who opens and closes the womb even though we think we have it all under control.

If a woman chooses to get married - then the physical act brings forth children. That's God's plan - His way. He wants His people to raise a godly heritage and once again this job cannot be done in our spare time.

We're seeing as a nation what is happening when women celebrate themselves so much that they don't invest the best hours of their days to their families.
Also, just because a woman is past the diapering, dirty dishes, constant laundry stage in her own life (though frankly, I don't know if that ever ends unless you have a full time housekeeper - smiles), doesn't mean that any of that was demeaning or beneath her. Those very things are humble service - a way to demonstrate to our families what Jesus taught when He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.

Women have far too long screamed for the place of honor - rather than humble service. It is in the home we learn to be like Jesus. Any woman can be all spiritual with her Christian friends at a women's retreat. But the rubber meets the road in the home. I could teach on this the rest of my life and still not even scratch the surface.

Well, Chrystal, I guess I have just about written a book - in between taking care of my grandson, Jack and my thirteen-year-old son, Jameson. Jameson flew up to Boston with me to help out but he has been throwing up all day so I have been taking care of both of them!

Thank you again for taking the time to write. Occasionally I feel compelled to write a long answer - this was one such time. I hope I didn't blow you away!

I pray God's blessings on you and your family.

Audrey Broggi

I'll post my thoughts on next week...