Almost 1000 Visitors....Wow!

I happened to notice the count on my blog and was shocked to see that I'm at 995 visits for my blog. Almost 1000 people have stopped by my bit of cyberspace and read my words. Amazing. I feel as though I ought to have something monumental to say in regards to this momentous occasion. I don't. I'm blogless tonight I think.

Let's see...

I'm still trying to figure out what the goal of this blog should be. I write about whatever I think is worth sharing and it's kind of all over the place. Sometimes I read the blogs of others and think that what I think and have to say is null and void. There are so many people out there who are really gifted as writers. Their blogs are focused on a purpose - as if they have a life purpose and are using their blogs to communicate it. It makes me wonder why I blog and why I think that my words should be heard. Sometimes I just don't have anything super good to say!

There are many days that pass and my deep, extra-juicy thought for the day gets lost somewhere in the casserole that I was working on around 6pm. I cannot seem to recall that thought when I sit down and want to blog later that evening.

There are many days that pass and what I really want to blog about would be a little too personal and would only show the world (the nano-portion of the world that reads this blog) that I'm really one of the most unorganized, confused, overwhelmed people you will ever meet.

There are days I want to blog about how I feel like running out into the street screaming b/c my head might explode with the pressures I face but I'm too embarrassed to lose my cool.

I don't blog about those days because those days are not the days I want to dwell on nor are they the days I want to create a written record of.

Maybe I should...

I know that I learn just as much from the success of some as the failures of others. I learn as much from the triumphs of one lady and the defeat of another. I grow from listening to the wisdom of one elderly person and the regrets of another person with some time under their belt.

Maybe there are people who suffer in silence because we walk around, going about our days, and passing through our lives hiding - hiding the parts that are real, that we don't want other people to see.

Maybe one generation suffers the pitfalls of the next simply b/c the first generation gave no warning about the impending dangers.

Maybe more people circle the Promised Land because they have not been given the key to entry.

I don't want to circle. I want to enter. This means I need people to be honest with me and I need to be honest with others.

That's what I try to do in this blog. Be honest. Not perfect. Not super holy...but honest.

Blogging goes beyond having a presence on the web. At least for me it does. It's a way to process my thoughts - to get them out of my head. Blogging forces me to clarify and makes me think about what it is that I believe, what I have learned, and where I am growing as I walk out my time on this earth.

Whether or not you blog, I encourage you to think. Think about what you are doing with your life - what you have done with it - what you have learned and how you are using your education to make better decisions in the future.

Think about whether or not you extending the ladder of your experience to someone else that can benefit from where you have been and what you have gleaned.

Children, friends, and acquaintances can all stand to learn from you. Are you willing to share?...to be honest...to risk embarassment so that someone can sidestep a pit you may have fallen into or a crack in the sidewalk you may have tripped on?

I want to be willing. This blog is a start. Thanks for reading as I review my lessons learned from my journey traveled.

Detoxing from the Holidays...

The holidays are drawing to a close and I welcome and dread the coming days of the return to routine. Routine is my friend. It allows me to accomplish all the things required of me as a wife and a mother. It allows me to make time for the things most important to me without forsaking other things not as enjoyable but necessary.

The last couple of weeks have been full of spontaneous activity. I've tried hard to lay down my love of schedule and spend impromptu moments in the bed watching TV with my oldest, or rolling on the floor w/toys and boys. I've tried to get some rest, all the while staying up late to finish things that were on my heart for this season.

I have a love hate relationship with "breaks". I need them. I want them. However, they make me lazy. I get used to things being a little slow, a little helter skelter, and a little fun-loving. Taking it easy during the holidays makes our laundry a little behind, or meals a little more thrown together, and our activities a little more FUN. There is time for board games (should have played more). There is time for watching the complete season 1 of Little House on the Prairie. There is time for making ornaments (that still need to be painted). There is time for trying new recipes and ordering takeout b/c those new recipes weren't so good.

I am thinking about my new year and what the Lord would have me to change. I sense that He would like for me to return to my routine with an eye on opportunities for spontaneity. Basically, looking for Him during the day and opportunities that He would have me to take.

Routine and discipline are important. The Bible speaks frequently about discipline and the need for hard work to make life prosperous but the BIble also speaks about being sensitive to the Spirit and making sure that we do what is important to Him.

My thoughts this last week of the year are on getting back in the groove, inviting my routine back into my life, ceasing laziness and disorder. My thoughts are also on being open to the Spirit and settling into His groove, His routine, and what is important to Him. God give me balance!

Being Honest with Myself About Weight Loss...

Today I'm being owning up to the fact that losing weight during the holiday is NOT my goal....

MAINTAINING my weight is :)

I'm not trying to hold out for the typical "New Year's Resolution" but the fact of the matter is that I have been in and out of town three times in the past four weeks and I'm just off.

• My menu planning is off
• My water consumption is lacking
• My visits to the gym are wanting
• My sugar cravings are off the charts
• My desire for cooking has waned

I'm just being honest.

Now, in a perfect world, I would have the self-discipline of a monk and be able to rise above the mentioned issues and continue. Well Christmas is a less than a week away and I'm declaring a truce with myself.

I vow to make sensible choices and look for natural opportunities for exercise. The weather down South has been wonderful and strolls with the boys have been nice. I'm willing to make the trip the gym but given the inconsistency of our schedule the next few days, making it at 5am everyday probably won't happen.

I'm making peace with my inability to be perfect.

Having said this, I really can't wait to get back into my routine. I think the lack of weight loss has been depressing.

I weighed in last weekend having gained a pound. I'll be weighing in every Saturday to keep my eye on my weight.

An Attempt at Perspective

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. - Philippians 4:8

Sometimes when life gets difficult, I tend to wallow. I begin to myopically focus on all of the things that are out of order, difficult, or unfair. It takes a decision and willpower to come out of negative thinking. This blog is about my attempt to refocus and to "think on things of good report".


It's all about perspective...

I feel irritation at the level of noise in my home and the busyness within these walls - until I remember that there are people this holiday season who don't want to be alone.

I am tired of endless time spent in the car taking a child with physical challenges back and forth to doctor's visits and therapy - until I think about the Mom that has to make daily trips to visit a child admitted to the hospital for a prolonged stay.

I express dissatisfaction about the dent on my car, wishing that I could get it fixed - until I pass the car abandoned on the shoulder of the highway.

I wallow in self-pity for having to change wet sheets in the middle of the night - until I think about the woman I recently met who has had to catheterize her child for the last five years.

I am mad about having to constantly pick up dirty socks - until I realize that dirty socks exist because there are people in my life that I love...and that love me.

I am frustrated that I can't do all the decorating I want to do in my home - until I take a walk and happen to notice the foreclosed houses in my neighborhood.

I wish that all the people calling my name, over and over, day in and day out, would STOP - until I become friends with a woman who is struggling to get pregnant and wishes for the day when a sweet little face will look up to her and call her "Mom".

I feel anger rise up as the phone starts to ring and, once again, the cordless is not on the hook - until I realize that I have a phone and voicemail. Whoever is calling can leave a message.

I am weary from the extra effort of pushing my little one in a stroller EVERYWHERE I go - until I realize that I could be pushing my little one in a wheel chair.

I am overwhelmed by the constant influx of bills in the mailbox - until I remember that God has promised to supply all of my needs,and does, in fact, have a great record of usually exceeding my need for daily bread.

I am disgruntled about an uncomfortable overnight stay in the hospital with my child - until I meet the man whose daughter has had several surgeries. He has had uncomfortable overnight stays for the past 3 months.

I am discouraged at the amount of work required of me and the lack of appreciation received - until I remember that my own Mother never let appreciation from me or the lack thereof determine the amount of her effort.

I feel slightly annoyed that I'm up again throughout the night with a child battling a fever - until I realize that I'm not up through the night watching my child struggle for each and every breath in the ICU.

I am fatigued with the stories my children like to tell me over and over again - until I realize the my children won't be little very long and there will be a day when the tables will turn and I will beg them to stay and talk to me.

There are many opportunities each day to find something wrong. I choose today to look for a few things that are RIGHT!

I love this quote...

Life is difficult - This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. - M. Scott Peck from The Road Less Traveled

Family Fun Night...at the mall!

This week we made it an ALL DAY AFFAIR. Hubby came along with the kiddos and we drove out to the mall. We arrived in time to eat lunch. Now I told my hubby all day but next time I think I'm gonna have to clarify what ALL DAY means! We ended leaving at 9pm!

I don't think it was my intention to stay that long. It just kind of happened. We have a teenager and she just shopped til she dropped! My parents (Poppy and Nonny) eventually showed up, encouraged us to stay for dinner, and made us want to hang around a bit longer.

So back to the beginning. At lunch time, I tried to do good, but let's face it...good is VERY difficult at the food court. I'm always thinking about what food choices to make for my littles ones when eating out. I think that next time we go out like this I will make the effort to either feed them ahead of time or pack them a lunch. This will save my worry and my pocket! I'll just have to get geared up for more thought and preparation before hand.

After eating, we bought the boys an all day pass to the Merry Go Round. At $5 per kid, it wasn't a bad deal considering that the price for one ride is $2 per kid. This was one of the best decisions we made for the day. They must have ridden that things 20 times :) So after we finished lunch we headed in that direction to let them have some fun before being confined to the stroller for awhile.

After lunch, we attacked the mall one floor at a time, starting at one end of the mall upstairs. We walked the whole length of the upstairs and then took the elevator down in the last department store. Then we proceeded to attack the bottom floor. Although I'm sure my hubby was in agony. He took it all in stride!

There was lots of time for joking, laughing, and talking as we strolled around. I timed our visit to the mall during the boys naptime so that we would have a guaranteed time for quiet and calm as we shopped!

We don't frequent the mall too much (preschoolers/toddlers are a lot of work in the mall) so my boys were in amazement. So many sights and sounds. It just brings my heart joy to see how excited they get about "Christmas Time" or "Kissmas Tiyam" as my 3yo says :)

When my Mom showed up, we were just about done but somehow her presence gave my 15yo daughter new energy for going in and out of stores! So...we kind of called a meeting place and separated. The middle of the mall at the big Christmas tree was the stop.

A vendor was there selling one of the neatest toys I have seen. We stopped there for awhile and played. It is like a seated scooter with no motor or batteries. It moves with wiggle power! The salesguy told me it could hold up to 400 pounds so I decided to give it a whirl too. This little spot held our attention for quite a while.

When my husband looked like he just couldn't take anymore, we all found our way to the foodcourt. The boys were delirious, my husband was rolling his eyes, my Dad was looking overwhelmed (as my little ones were all over the place), and we STILL HAD A GREAT TIME. It's all about being together. Even at the end of a long day there was still fun to be had.

Since we were so close...we took a few more rounds on the Carousel!

Our last stop was the mall play area. The little ones got to burn off whatever steam they had left. My daughter got to lay around on her grandmother's lap. My husband got to experience watching BOTH little ones in that crazy spot. My Dad got to help my husband...and I to watch it all thinking how blessed I am during this special time of the year! There is nothing better than family!

Great day!

I changed my mind....Homeschooling Does Work!

This is just an example of how you cannot judge your life by one day or incident. I, jokingly, posted yesterday about the incident where my 15yo daughter asked me a fairly basic question. I laughed at how quickly a homeschool Mom can feel like a failure when her child(ren) do or say something that does not quite measure up to whatever standard we have set for ourselves and for our family.

Well today, just as quickly, I am convinced that homeschool has outstanding benefits! This same daughter who asked me about a kitchen appliance just the day before, volunteered tonight to make dinner. This comes after a crazy day yesterday where she made ALL THREE MEALS. This same girl made breakfast this morning! Unbelievable.

Even better than cooking, she chose to try something unfamiliar. She broke out the recipe book, rode her bike to the store for a couple of necessary ingredients, and then cleaned up after herself as the food cooked!

Today I am convinced that being with my children gives me the awesome opportunity of seeing them surpass my wildest expectations on a regular basis.

...today my 3yo told me that I should be careful b/c what I was doing was "dangerous"...

...my 1yo baffles me b/c he doesn't want to sit still for Momma to read to him but he will sit for long periods of time, on the floor, "reading" (babbling) a book to himself...

...my 15yo sits with me early in the morning to study God's Word...

...this same 15yo reads about 3 books a week...

...back to my 3yo....he can work any puzzle I put in front of him...(it's kind of scary)

...and my sweet 1yo is vying for his freedom but still takes random opportunities to lay his head on my shoulder....

This is what I choose to focus on today...what my kids DO RIGHT!!! They are not geniuses, nor are they perfect, but they are MINE and I'm thankful for the opportunity to be with them!

I'm sure there will be many days when I wonder if I'm being a good Mom, educational guide, disciplinarian, cheerleader, and friend. I am learning not to let the days of wonder determine my hopes and conviction for the long-term benefits of homeschooling my children. Good days and bad days, fun days and crazy days, they will come and go alike. At the end of the day, the positive moments overwhelmingly outweigh the negative ones :)

Homeschooling Doesn't Work!

My daughter was making some instant mashed potatoes this evening. In the process of reading the directions, she asked me how we were supposed to cook them if we didn't have a microwave oven. I looked at her like she was crazy and said, "What do you mean?". She repeated her questions. I smirked and asked, "Are you serious?". She was.

I walked over to the microwave and said, "Here's our microwave right here!". My sweet oldest replied, "but we don't have a microwave oven!". I busted out laughing and proceeded to explain that a microwave IS a microwave oven! She had no idea.

I guess homeschool geniuses still need a little instruction ever now and again :)

Have you backed up your blog?

I just did thanks to Ronda "Rugby"! Over at the Rugby Homeschool blog, Ronda "Rugby" has posted instructions for backing up a blog that can be understood by everyone - even the technically challenged. Thanks Ronda! Here is a reprint:

Several times I have heard people say, "Back-up Your Blogs". I have looked around for instructions. Well.... Did you find them? I didn't. So, I thought that I would write some for everyone.

First, there are two different ideas of a back-up. Do you want to back-up your 'template' or your 'entries'? Having a back-up of your template is great, but won't do much good if all of you entries get lost. I assume that your entries have taken a lot of time and energy to create and that you probably would like to have them for the future or you would not have written them.

Want a quick and easy way to save it all?

Open your blog in a browser window. Go to your profile and check how many entries you have. Make a mental note of this number.

Login to your account. Go to "General Settings' and make a mental note of how many "Entries per Page" you have now. Change this number to the total number of entries that you have written and Save.

Click on "View Weblog"

On the 'File' menu, click on "Save Page As" or "Save As" (depending on your browser). Click on "My Documents" icon on the left side. Create a Folder for you back-up by clicking on the small folder at the top that looks like it has an orange flower on it. Name the folder what ever you would like. Double click on the folder that you have just created to open it. Click on the "Save" button at the bottom.

Go back to the browser window with your "General Settings". Click on "Return to Settings". Change the "Entries per Page" back to the original number and "Save" the setting.

You now have a backup of ALL of your entries and all of the pictures that are on your blog in one place. You can view this file even when you or not connected to the web. Open your "My Documents" folder and double click on the folder that you created. Your file will be there with a folder of the same name. All of your pictures will be in the folder.

Now for the hard part. Making a back-up of your template. Okay, this isn't so hard but there are a few warnings that I must state. Don't save the template into a word processor because extra codes will be introduced and auto-correct will mess things up. Make sure that the whole template loaded before you copy it.

Click on "Edit Template". Scroll to the bottom to make sure that everything loaded. If you see /html, then you know that you have it all.

Click anywhere in the box with the template code so you can select it all.
Then, "Select All" (on the Edit menu) and "Copy" (on the Edit menu).
Close the template without saving.

Open a NotePad file (or other text editor)
Start Menu, All Programs, Accessories, NotePad
In this new NotePad window, "Paste" the code and "Save" the file to the folder that you created for you blog backup. (While the Save window is open: click on My Documents on the sidebar, locate your new folder, double click on the folder to open it, click Save button)
Close the NotePad file.

After you have a complete back-up of your blog, you will only need to back-up when you change your template or you have several new entries. You can follow the above directions without changing your "Entries per Page" if you want to save just what shows on your current Home page. Example, if you have 7 entries per page, then make a back-up when you have 7 new entries. Remember to change the file name when you "Save" into your folder so that you don't overwrite your full backup.

If you find this useful, please leave a comment and/or link to this entry on your own blog. Thanks, Ronda

UPDATE: For power bloggers....

If you blog won't completely load with your "entries per page" set to a very large number, you can set your entries per page to 50 or 100 and then backup each page of your blog. You will need to view your "Home" page (your page 1) and save it as Page1 or something similar. Then advance to your next page as you normally would and then save it with a name like Page2. You will need to save each of the pages individually and give each a unique name. You might want to create a folder for your backup files before you start. You might also want to attach a date to your backups. I name my files, 120706Page1 and 120706Page2. Remember that this process creates a file and a folder that have the same names. The folder will contain all of the graphics (except some background graphics) contained on the page.

Making Diet & Exercise Happen...

and trying to avoid TEMPTATION!

One of my goals while I in Philly was not to completely flake out on my lifestyle change of diet and exercise. Let me say I definitely did better than my last trip to Philly but still not as good as I would like to do when I'm away from home. It's a learning process right?

I made it a point to go to the grocery store as soon as I got to town in hopes of avoiding fast food with readily available food. I fixed breakfast in the mornings before I left for Kanaan's therapy at the hospital and fixed my lunch when I came back. Dinner is usually brought in at the House so that was difficult but I tried really hard to control my portion size. A couple of times I ate my food instead of the provided meal. I have to admit that I probably ate one snack sized Kit-Kat a day. I ate fast food one time in seven days. Of that, I am proud!

My plan was to make exercise happen this week by running stairs because the neighborhood isn't good and my gym membership doesn't work here. I ran stairs one day. Definitely not as much as I'd planned but better than I did last time. I miss the gym...and my neighborhood :)

I also wanted to do some pilates in the evenings with a DVD I brought. Honestly, when I finished with the day I was just pooped. Another lesson learned...exercise for me HAS to be in the morning or else it just doesn't happen.

I have learned from this experience that my lifestyle change in diet and exercise has to involve ongoing choices. I do great when routine helps me to make good choices such as having the habit of going to the gym at the same time each day or buying good food to put in my home and cooking from a menu this week. But when I'm travelling or going out to eat or celebrating a special event with friends and food, I still have to be responsible for my choices.

I'm looking forward to going home. I'll do so much better there but this week has taught me that my responsibility for my choices is the bottom line.

I haven't weighed in in the last couple of weeks. I think I'll give myself a week to get it together then weigh in next Saturday :)

Ronald McDonald House - Pt. 2!

This week's stay at the Ronald McDonald House was once again AWESOME. I worked harder this time than last time b/c I was the only person here to chase K. As a benefit to being here alone with him though, I had naptime and bedtime FREE. I watched TV which I never do and got some reading done.

From what I understand, each room at the House is decorated with a unique theme. This time I stayed in the "Red Room". It had a bed and breakfast feel. K and I rested well even though major construction was underway on two sides of the building!

The Red Room

Food was a focal point at the House just like on our last visit. Dinner was provided EVERY night. Tuesday night was a special treat. The Chop House (similar to a Ruth's Chris) provided a five star dinner.

More food....

The chefs were dressed in their full attire as they set up for the meal which included CHEESECAKE (as if I didn't have enough temptation). God watched out for me though. When I went back for some, it was all gone!

Cheesecake is served!

Since Christmas is around the corner, the House was decorated appropriately. I believe that previous guests decorated Gingerbread Houses which were still displayed in the dining hall.

Gingerbread Houses Galore!

My last night here, the House had it's annual Christmas Party.....MORE FOOD!

Best of all, Santa Claus showed up but K wasn't interested in him b/c he was too enthralled with Ronald McDonald! K had a hard time choosing between Ronald and Barnery!

K and Ronald!

Blogging from Philly....again!

I'm back in Philly again, my son has had his cast removed and also is undergoing intensive therapy 2x a day for the week. It has been exhausting. Every evening I have grand plans of blogging, reading, hanging with friends I have here, and pulling out my Pilates video. Every evening I'm dead tired. I'm writing this blog at 2am b/c I fell asleep in the TV lounge and just now got up to come to my room. I remember wanting to watch the Biggest Loser and get some reading done. The Biggest Loser happened but the reading didn't :)

The amount of sheer physical energy required for each day is unbelievable. From getting an active 2 year old dressed, keeping up with him as he runs everywhere, choraling him into high chairs, getting him into his car seat, and going back and forth to the hospital for therapy, I am busy all day. The effort is increased b/c he is wearing a splint in place of his cast which adds extra weight and bulk (the car seat becomes an ordeal) and when he is not wearing his splint I have to keep a really close eye on him to make sure he doesn't fall, play to rough, or stress his recovering joint. Except a much needed break at naptime, I'm on all day and it is definitely wearing me out.

I'm truly grateful though. Working with a great doctor at Shriners in Philly and awesome therapists is such a privelege and a gift. We have not had to pay a dime for all of the great care we have received nor have we paid a dime for our stays at the Ronald McDonald House.

I miss my husband and children who are at home and I look forward to getting back there soon. For now though, even with all of the extra work, I am enjoying the moments of solitude and rest that I am able to get while the baby is sleeping. Soon enough, I will be back in full throttle at home with my attentions divided between multiple people and multiple tasks. At least right now, even with the increased load with this one child, I am just focusing on one child :)

One day I look forward to coming back to this city and actually getting to "see" it. I have a rental car and have found my way around a bit but haven't had anytime to sight see or hang out in the city really. There is so much history here and rich character. Everything is "old" and since I am studying US History this year with my oldest, I am anxious to rediscover history for myself by exploring the museums, landmarks, etc available in the city of Philadelphia. Once we get some distance from Kanaan's recovery I'll have to come back. It would be nice to bring my oldest here and enjoy the city with her. Hmmm....maybe a Spring Break/Summer trip idea?

I toyed with the idea of getting out with the baby and just pushing him in his stroller while I saw a few sites and he slept. Normally this wouldn't be problem cuz I'm one of those Mom's that still does "stuff" with children in tow but my son has been nursing a cold all week and it has been wise to come right back to our room so that he can rest in his warm playpen.

The week is almost over. A couple more days and I'll be back home, blogging from my favorite chair in the living room.

Behind on Blogging

Things have been crazy the last few days. Every night I go to bed wanting to blog about the latest happenings but...the latest happenings are wearing me out! So, I'm blogging today about how I haven't had time to blog. Isn't that a mess...

Hopefully later today I will get to post something interesting.