Weight Loss Update - Monday 3/2

Alright, down another pound this week.  This is for a total of 6.2.

I've kind of found a groove with eating and working out.  This does not surprise me.  My problem is committing to continue these positive behaviors for THE REST OF MY LIFE.  The reality is that I know how to lose it.  I choose not to keep it when I lose the weight and then go back to my comfortable place of eating.  

In order to lose weight and keep it off, I will have to practice telling myself "no" most of the time.

In order to lose weight and keep it off, I will have to avoid high sugar, high fat, foods most of the time.

In order to lose weight and keep it off, I will have to avoid fast foods most of the time.

There in lies the problem.  I have been great at eating health foods some of the time and eating non-healthy foods most of the time.  This is where I am comfortable.

I'm comfortable living life in the fast lane and not really thinking about the foods I put in my mouth.  I feed myself primarily based on convenience.  

It's not that I don't love good food, I just haven't historically taken the time to prepare them myself.  If I don't have the time or money for quality food, then I don't eat it.  Simple as that.

I'm discovering that in order to eat properly, I'm having to take time for myself.  I'm having to slow down and think about what I choose to put in my body.  I'm having to decide to not stay up late so that I can get up at 5am (YES...5am) and make it to the gym/park to exercise.  I'm having to choose to pass Starbucks when that double tall White Chocolate Mocha w/Soy and extra whip in a grande cup is calling my name. (LAWD-HAVE-MERCY).

Bottom line:  I'm having to slow down and think.  Imagine that. Slow down.  Those words are not typically in my vocabulary.  But they are slowly becoming a part of it....fast.

Holla back at me if you are on some kind of get healthy journey yourself.  I'd love to know whose out there on the journey with me.

2/23 Weight Loss Update

Even though I'm still working through how to get regular blogging worked back into my schedule :)....

I thought I'd jump on the blog this evening to give a brief update to my Weight Watchers adventure.

Today I'm officially entering my 3rd week of doing this thing after being ever-so-strongly opposed to it in the beginning.

I'm happy to report that things are going well. At my way in tonight I'm now down 5.2 pounds!

Thinking About Losing Weight Again...

Things are finally starting to feel almost normal again... I'm still enjoying my "babymoon" but I'm also back in the saddle as it relates to schoolin' the kiddos, fixing dinners, and playing taxi driver. Since I'm finding my way back out of the house on a regular basis, I'm also finding that I'm rummaging through my closest for "out" clothes to wear and I'm coming up wanting everytime.

What does this mean?

Sadly, it means that I need to get back to working on my weight - losing some of it - O.K. - ALOT OF IT.

Pregnancy is the blissful excuse to not have to suck things in because there is actually a justifiable reason for abdominal growth that pushes the abdominal area outwards. Even if a woman doesn't technically have to be showing at 12 weeks, being pregnant is a nice and comforting reason for a woman to have to share with others about her little "pooch".

My blissful excuse is officially over. I mean, I've had the baby and had three months for things to shrink down a bit. The shrinking is done. Anything left to shrink will only be taken care of through self-denial and self-discipline (translated eating less and exercising more).

My sister called me tonight around 5:30 p.m. and asked me if I wanted to join her at her Weight Watcher's meeting. I told her I did not. I simply have an issue with Weight Watchers. I think the organization is great. I believe that it works and is wonderful for a lot of people to participate in - just not ME.

Why? Honestly, after a bunch of soul searching and yapping with 'ol sis, the bottom line is that I'm too proud.

You see...joining WW means that I'm admitting I need help. It means that I'm admitting that I could use assistance on this journey of mine.

I really want to lose the weight and say that I did it all by myself. I want to be able to show that I'm strong by myself and that I don't need help in order to achieve the goals that I set out for myself.

I also don't want to have to join an organization that groups me with all of the other people I've looked at from a distance and wondered why the people in that group couldn't get their act together on their own. I mean...if a person knows what to do...why don't they just DO IT? (do you feel the lack of humility here).

In reality, I should have been asking myself that same question.

Although I did drop 30 pounds before baby, when I got pregnant I had already gained about 15 of those pounds back already. 10 years ago I was able to drop 30 pounds too...I didn't keep that off either. So, clearly, although I can lose the weight, there is something faulty with my process because I can't keep it off.

Herein lies the problem. To join Weight Watchers is to admit that I have a flaw...that I have an imperfection...that I am not a force in and onto myself. Imagine that.

My sister told me that she would be at my house in 8 minutes. I still resisted her invitation. Then she offered to pay my first two weeks. I told her that I would go for the ride with no guarantees of commitment.

I got in her car and headed to the meeting, still fighting internally with whether or not I was going to actually PAY someone else for ME to lose weight. I have an issue with paying people to do what I know I'm capable of doing myself for free.

But, in the end, I did it. I joined Weight Watchers.

I've come home and spent some time pouring over my books, my points allowance, and what in the world I can eat without thinking too hard.

I've also been thinking about how my experience with this whole WW thing mirrors the reality of a lot of so-called Christ followers.

Many of us go through life, trying our best to make it. We grunt and groan, trying to carve the best slice out of life that we can. We take one step forward and then find ourselves falling two steps back. We start every New Year's with new resolutions as we write off our past mistakes and vow to do things differently in the next twelve months, only to find that twelve months later we are no better off.

We go to church every Sunday and smile in the face of those who ask us how we are doing. We answer with the typical "fine" and then head back to the very things that we came to church to get help with. We are too embarrased to ask for help. We are too self-conscious to share our struggles, We are too proud to admit that we are not as together as we would like to seem.

It's foolishness. My stupid battle with joining Weight Watchers is just as stupid as Christians who constantly live in some form of defeat simply because they won't be transparent, take off their masks, and admit their inadequacies. We refuse to let others who are either facing the same struggle or those who have experienced victory come alongside us and hold us up, hold us accountable, and hold our hands.

So I'm admitting my need for help even though it is uncomfortable, unsettling, and for me, a bit uncanny.

Where do you need help? Are your willing give a little vulnerability in order to gain some victory?

I hope so...I finally am.

It's a SAD, SAD Day

I've avoided coming clean for as long as I possibly can. Take a look at the ticker and you'll see what I'm talking about. One of my blogging buddies and also real life friends emailed me this morning and told me that the ticker on my page needed attention. I opened up my blog and this message greeted me.

"Ticker not updated in 80 days".
"Please update"

For 80 days I've been suffering in a bloggy secret silence kind of way about what is going on with my weight. For 80 days, I've been contemplating how much of my personal life I should really put here on this blog. For 80 days, I've been grimacing each time I step on the scale.

There is always this running battle of exactly how honest one should be when sharing about their life on their blog. I personally want to be honest enough to encourage others by the lessons I learn as I work my way through my life. I want to be honest enough to let other moms know that they are not the only ones going through stuff. I want to be honest enough to allow what God is doing in and with me to help someone else out in their walk. But let's be real people. I would be a crazy woman if I enjoyed telling the world about the not-so-great parts of me.

Well today is Sunday and maybe because it's the day I'm regularly scheduled to hear God's truth, I feel compelled to be truthful, to be real, and to be transparent. Hear goes.

Things aren't rosy in the weight loss department.

You know how when your kids are off doing something they shouldn't do, their very abnormal silence tells you that they are doing something they aren't supposed to. I mean, the fact that they are so quiet is actually the indicator that things aren't quite right! And as I'm sure some of you have already noticed, I AIN'T BEEN SAYING NUTHIN' ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY.

That's because I'm not losing weight. In fact, I'm gaining...again :(

So, I've re-adjusted my ticker and am completely running the risk of complete embarrassment. I mean my family reads this blog as well as a host of friends in real life. Now when they see me, they'll know for sure that what they think they have been seeing is actually a verified fact. (Sigh)

Here's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

After our road trip in August, things never got back to normal. My weight loss goals were working partly because of routine. Once my routine got turned upside down, so did the habits and practices that were contributing to my weight loss. I stopped regularly going to the gym. My taste for fried and fast foods returned with a vengeance. My love affair with chocolate chip cookies heated up (did anyone know that Whataburger has the BEST chocolate chip cookies?). And Starbucks has collected more money from me in the past four months than they have in the last two years.

The bottom line is that I'm addicted to food - not just sugar - but ALL FOODS overall. Just like a person who is an alcoholic is always an alcoholic, I will always be addicted to food. No matter how long I'm clean, my return to my sickness is only one indulgence away. It only takes one "drink" of my wonderful White Chocolate Mocha, with extra whip, served up in a Grande cup, to make me a regular in the drive-thru for weeks to come.

I've been in a battle and I'm losing miserably.

So, maybe now that I've admitted it I'll feel compelled to do something about it. Is there anyone else who wants to join me on a "I've gotta beat this addiction" journey. Maybe if I have someone to hold me accountable I'll do better.

Battle of the Bulge...Demons Out Demons In...

OK...over the past year I've lost about 30 pounds. During the month of August, we went on vacation and I lost my mind a bit. Then, when we got back in September, I've had a little bit of trouble getting back into my normal workout and eating routine.

There is a spiritual principle at work here (unfortunately for me):

Luke 11.24-26:

"When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first." (NIV)

When we battle our own bad habits and tendencies, the first challenge is making a change to start with. The second challenge is maintaining those habits over the long haul.

Haven't you noticed that after experiencing victory in an area that it all-of-the-sudden seems so much harder to keep that victory up!

In my battle with food (and OH LAWD YES it is a battle). Things have been ten times harder now that I'm trying to continue to live out the habits that have gotten me this far. It's so temping to relax because of all the hard work put in before. The fact is that my previous efforts won't hold me. I must continue to do what I did before in order to get the same results. I actually, having lost a few pounds, I've got to increase my efforts to keep moving in the right direction.

So I'm admittedly fighting some demons, and I do believe that the opposition has been stacked against me to guarantee my failure. Thank God that:

I John 4:4

...greater is He that is in (me), than he that is in the world. (KVJ)

I've changed my weight loss ticker, yet again. I'm back down...close to where I was before vacation. Fighting my way back has been monstrous as I made more than a few decisions regarding food that I wasn't proud of. Maybe I'll confess more about it later... Hmmmmm....

....let me lose a few more pounds first :)

Day 2 Fall '07 PART B

Forgot to mention that although I was completely ready to go the gym this morning...I mean I laid out my workout clothes, put my workout bag together so I could shower, planned my outfit for the day, and charged my IPod....

I forgot to set the alarm clock so I didn't get up...AGAIN.

But...I have to say that I think I'm slowly coming out of the woods. At least I did some form of exercise. I woke Gracie up (so she could get some P.E. in for the day), threw Sumo (Kano and Daddy stayed asleep at home)into the old jogging stroller (it was covered with cobwebs), and went for a 50 minutes walk through the neighborhood.

So that's me trying to not to cry over spilled milk and make lemonade out of lemons :)

It's Confession Time...

Well I'm back from my blogging break. Things are settling down around the household and beginning to look more normal. But I'm not back to normal yet....

One of my friends IRL (in real life) told me that sometimes, when she reads my blog, that it seems like all is hunky-dory, and all is continually well in my life.

Well, this post should dis-spell any notions that I've got it all together. My precious journey of weight-loss has gotten off course. I'm not happy about it. Actually, I'm fairly disgusted with myself.

You know...that feeling that you've just been messing up and simply not doing your best? Well that's exactly where I'm at.

I'm up 4.5 pounds from my last weight in. UUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.....

Why are those pounds so easy to put on and so DIFFICULT to take off?

I had grand intentions of getting home and immediately returning to my precious gym. I just couldn't get up in the mornings. Then, I decided to stick those boys in the double stroller and set out on a brisk walk for at least 30 minutes each day to get the juices flowing. I have yet to do that too.

Oh...and my love of junk food and my sugary addiction has been re-ignited. So every day is a huge struggle to do right.

Cooking is a chore and I just don't want to do it - much less cooking healthy!

So that's where I am. Confession is supposed to be good for the soul right? Hopefully this is the first step out of my state of remorse.

I want to get back on the bandwagon and back on it QUICK. It's depressing to think of where I could have been had I taken this last year of losing weight and really worked it. You know...those people who lose like 50-60 pounds in a year - yea...that could have been me...

So that's my confession and my rant. Sorry that you had to see this side of me. I think I just want to pout.

Weight Loss On the Road...

...is impossible.

Weight maintenance while on the road is laughable.

All I will say is that I'm dreading my impending meeting with Mr. Scale...

(sigh)

Slow & Steady Wins the Race...I Hope

This week I'm down 1.5 lbs. For the last few weeks, it has been all I could do not to gain. Family vacation, camping out, being on the road, grilling outside, frozen custard, slushies!!!...I could go on and on...but I won't.

"The Fam" enjoying homemade ice cream at our local Canton Market (monthly flea market)


My goal this week was to put my axe to the grind and see some progress. I made it to the gym 3x before coming down with the cold given to me by Gracie (thank you very much). I intended to make it 5x but that wasn't happening yesterday when my head felt like a brick and my body ached with every sneeze.

Today I feel a bit better. There is a spin class @ 24 around 6pm. I'll see...

I haven't documented foods eaten like I used to. I'll see if I can get back to that next week. I think Friday mornings is going to be my weigh in day going forward. It used to be Saturday but if anything happened on a Friday night (going out, date night w/hubby, parties...), I was just miserable thinking about my Saturday morning weigh in :)

Why It's Hard For Me To Lose Weight...

Earlier this week I made bread and saved some dough for my girls to get creative the next morning. They both like to get busy in the kitchen and I let them because they are good chefs in the making! Well this is their idea of how to use healthy whole wheat dough...CINNAMON ROLLS!...

You would have been proud of me though. I had one bite. That's it.

Then I spent the rest of the week mad...

Phase I of Weight Loss COMPLETE!!!

I haven't stepped on the scale for a couple of weeks. I was just disgusted with my double-mindedness with regards to maintaining a lifestyle of healthy, portion-controlled eating.

I have done OK for the last week or so and decided to measure and see where I was at.

I'M IN A NEW TENS CATEGORY. I haven't seen this tens category for almost five years. WHOOPEE! So I'm officially down to my initial 29 lb goal...

So...I'm reveling in the victory for a hot second but I am also wanting to continue to "press towards the mark" by resetting my goal.

Here we go again!!!...On to 40 pounds!

My only goal is to stop eating when I'm satisfied, drink LOTS of water (12 cups or 3 liters), and to do some type of "moving" activity each day (gym, walk, bike, garden).

I've also started a program called Setting Captives Free. If you want to try it out click on "online courses" and then "Food Issues" and then "The Lord's Table Phase I).

I figure I gained all my weight because of a certain mindset. The key to a life change is to renew my mind as it relates to my body, my cravings, and food. This is a good program as it relates diet/weight loss to my relationship with God. And best of all, IT'S FREE. I have friends that have only done the study and lost weight but there is also a eating plan if you want to use it.

It's onward and downward from here....

In Philly and thinking about weight loss...

OK...obviously I needed more of a blogging break. My baby son and I are back in Philly. He has an appointment here with his doc at Shriners. For my first couple of days here I couldn't get internet access. I hate that I haven't been blogging. It has grown to be something that I really enjoy.

I know that I haven't talked about weight loss stuff in awhile. Well, let's just say that I'm holding my own. While at home, I have definitely been making it to the gym. It's been hard because I've been out of my "routine" time to go but I've been making it happen. During the time of my grandfather's death, I definitely struggled because there was constantly so much FOOD around. I tried my best but a recovering alcoholic can only be around so much wine/beer/etc before they cave - the same holds true with me and chocolate cake. I'm just not there yet. Maybe I'll never be. This weight thing will probably be a fight I work at for the rest of my life. Never-the-less, extenuating circumstances didn't set me up for success. I can say that upon my arrival in Philly, I got a rental car and drove straight to Whole Foods so that I could have good food readily available to me. That was good, right?!?!

A friend of mine has recently joined Weight Watchers. It's tempting but I just don't think I can do it. Call me prideful, but something inside me just balks at the idea of paying someone to tell me how to eat. I KNOW what to eat - it's the discipline to walk out what I know that's the problem. It's the story of m LIFE. Doing what I know to do when I know to do it.

Paying money would definitely make me feel a bit more accountable but... I dunno...I just think I don't like accepting help. If I don't meet my weight loss goal soon though I may have to do something. Broadcasting to the world via a blog that you have 1.5 lbs to lose and then STILL havine 1.5 lbs to loose a few weeks later...well...it's embarrassing.

I did good today...even out of town...away from home...that's an accomplishment. One day at a time right!

Weight Loss Journey 4/22 - 4/28

Weight Loss This Week - 1.5 LB
Current Weight Loss - 27.5 LBS

LBS to go - 1.5 LBS

...Almost there...!

Workout Diary...
My accomplishment this week is that I didn't let schedule messups get to me. If I couldn't get to the gym I still worked out. Twice, I just put on my tennis shoes and just went for a walk.

Sunday - took a brisk 30 minute walk on the campgrounds of the Above Rubies Retreat
Monday - no workout
Tuesday - Spin Class @ 24 + 20 minutes on StairMaster
Wednesday - 30 minutes elliptical + 30 recumbant bike + situps
Thursday - no workout
Friday - took a brisk 30 minute walk through the neighborhood
Saturday - no workout

Eating Diary...
This week was one of good decisions. I felt very "clean" after doing the Herbal Cleanse. I didn't want to ruin the feeling by putting junk into my system. It was kind of like being on a roll :) My body has become conditioned to being treated right. It's nice to be on the road to recovery :)

Sunday (@ Above Rubies Retreat)
Breakfast - Total Raisin Brain + Green Smoothie + a bit of Scrambled Eggs
Lunch - Taco Salad + 1 Chocolate Chip Cookie
Dinner - PB&J + Cheetos + Apple
Water - didn't measure :(

Monday (Coop Day)
Early Morning - Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Breakfast - 1 cup of Total Raisin Bran + 1/2 cup milk
Snack - none
Lunch - 1 Slice of Pizza + Salad
Dinner - 1 Slice of Pizza + 1 cup of Green Beans

Tuesday
Early Morning - n/a
Breakfast - Smoothies + 1/2 Toast w/grape jam
Morning Snack - Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Lunch - PB&J + Smooth Move Tea
Afternoon Snack - a couple of wheat clubhouse crackers.
Dinner - tomato/cucumber salad + lightly steamed cauliflower followed by a toddler-sized bowl of pot roast over rice (probably about 3/4 cup) + one oreo cookie.
Late Evening - Lemon Tea w/1 tsp sugar
Water - 2 Liters

Wednesday
Early Morning - 1/2 Banana
Breakfast - High Fiber Oatmeal Walnut Cookie
Morning Snack - Banana
Lunch - Big bowl of Total Raisin Bran (waited too long to eat)
Afternoon Snack - two crackers
Dinner - 1/2 of my dinner at church (I'll save the other half for tomorrow's lunch) 1 Chicken Enchilada, 1/2c rice, 1/2c refried beans + thumb's length of chocolate cake.
Late Evening - Lemon Tea w/1 tsp sugar
Water - 2 Liters

Thursday
Early Morning -
Breakfast - Total Raisin Bran
Lunch - Total Raisin Bran (again)...
Snack -
Dinner - Tomato+ Cucumbers, Broccoli, + a tad of pot roast over rice
Water - 1.5 Liters

Friday
Breakfast- Pancakes w/ Maple Syrup
Lunch - PB & J + Banana
Dinner - BBQ Beef Sandwich + Root Beer (Friday Family Night)
Late Evening - Smooth Move Tea

Saturday (@ Grandpa's House)
Breakfast - Banana
Lunch - Burger & Fries
Dinner - Pizza

Weight Loss Journey 4/15 - 4/21

Weight Loss This Week - .5 LB

Current Weight Loss - 26 LBS

LBS to go - 3 LBS

...making s-l-o-w but steady progress.

Workout Diary...
Definitely got to a groove with my workouts. I enjoyed every minute of it. I have also updated my IPod and created a special workout mix. I had a blast jamming and praising while I huffed and puffed. People probably thought I was crazy. Praising Jesus on adrenalin is awesome! So, now that I'm back on my routine, I'll be trying to increase my workout time to what it was before.

Monday - no workout
Tuesday - 30 minutes elliptical + pushups + situps + squats
Wednesday - BootCamp! in the am + 30 minutes elliptical in the pm (due to Wed afternoon snack)
Thursday - Spin Class @ 24
Friday - took a walk to the store...walked back with bags as weights :)
Saturday - no workout

Eating Diary...
This week was a bit better but still not great on the carbs and the sugar. I had too many opportunities to "celebrate". I'm having to learn that even for special events I can still say no. The one thing that is still with me from my Sugar Fast is that I don't really like the idea of the sweets or carbs in my body. My mind knows that food with no nutritional value is in my system and I don't want it there. So, when I did eat sweets this week, I had very small portions. I was grateful not to be dominated by cravings and the flesh.

When I look back at my week, I see good eating at home but bad eating when eating out. I'm learning to be consistent about my food choices no matter where I am. Singlemindedness is the goal.

I also started a herbal cleanse from Advocare. My husband uses some of their products and gets a discount. I'd never done a cleanse before so I thought I'd give it a try.

Sunday (Last day of Anniversary)
Breakfast - none
Lunch - :) Cheeseburger & Fries
Dinner - Can't remember

Monday
Early Morning - Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Breakfast - 1 cup of Total Raisin Bran + 1/2 cup milk
Snack - none
Lunch - Salad
Dinner - Chicken Pot Pie (1 cup) + Broccoli

Tuesday
Early Morning - Apple + Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Breakfast - Scrambled Eggs + Toast w/grape jam
Morning Snack - String Cheese + 5 Crackers
Lunch - Half of a sweet potato sweetened w/maple syrup + steamed broccoli (2 cups)
Afternoon Snack - Too many chips with salsa (I couldn't just eat one)
Dinner - Spaghetti ( 1/2 cup noodles + 1 cup of sauce) + Salad (my teenager made it...amazing....iceberg lettuce + red pepper + apple + almonds + cucumber + cheese + bacon bits)
Water - 2 Liters

Wednesday
Early Morning - Apple + Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Breakfast - Total Raisin Bran
Morning Snack -
Lunch - Meal Replacement Shake from Advocare (my hubby get a discount)
Afternoon Snack - Started with a half bag of Doritos. I was able to stop but when I ran into an unexpected hospitable gift of chocolate chip cookies...well I just lost control (talk about Buyer's Remorse...sigh)
Dinner - 1 cup of Chicken Tortilla Soup + 1/2 Salmon Caesar Salad (dressing on the side)
Late Night - Lemon Tea w/1tsp of sugar..
Water - 3 Liters (Whoo Hoo!)

Thursday
Early Morning - Banana
Breakfast - Go Lean Kashi
Lunch - 1/2 Chick Fil A Wrap
Snack - Salsa & Chips
Dinner - Variety Salad + a tad of tuna casserole (maybe 3/4 cup)
Water - 1.5 Liters

Friday (A day with too much sugar)
Breakfast- Pancakes w/ Maple Syrup
Lunch - 1/2 of a 6 inch Subway sandwich + Chips + Cake(Preschooler Birthday Party)
Dinner - Taco Salad + a little peach cobbler and ice cream (Date w/hubby)

Saturday (@ Above Rubies Retreat)
Breakfast - Bowl of Total Raisin Bran + Banana
Lunch - Turkey and Cheese Sandwich on Crescent Bread w/ Vegetable Soup
Dinner - Grilled Chicken, Steamed Veggies, Wild Rice, Wheat Roll + a thumb's length of cheesecake.

Weight Loss Journey 4/8 - 4/14

Weight Loss This Week - .5 LB

Current Weight Loss - 25.5 LBS

LBS to go - 3.5 LBS

Eating Diary...
This week was terrible...absolutely terrible. I actually was not going to post the eating and workout diaries at all out of embarrassment at not being able to stick to my goals. Then I remembered that the reason why I post is a) to help someone else on their journey and b) to hold myself accountable. If I'm going to be held accountable, even it it's only by my actions in print, I've got to be honest.

My main problem...once again...was lack of planning. Last week's plans didn't exactly come into fruition. I was on the run too much and ate out too much. I drank too little water and didn't eat near enough fruits and veggies. So that's my diagnosis of the problem. Next week let's pray I learn from this week's mistakes :(

Sunday (Easter)
My stomach has strunk a bit so I couldn't overdue it to bad. Let's just say we went to a brunch and I had a smattering of everything. I tried to fill a plate with a sampling of different desserts but I couldn't only have a bite or two of about three things. It was too sweet!

Tuesday
Breakfast - Smoothies and Toast
Lunch - Two soft chicken tacos
Early Dinner - Amy's Enchiladas
Dinner - Salmon Caesar Salad (ate out with family)

Wednesday
Breakfast - None
Lunch - Cheeseburger meal from McDonalds
Dinner - Chicken Sandwich + Small Caesar

Thursday
Breakfast - Go Lean Kashi
Snack - Strawberry Banana Smoothie
Lunch - Turkey Sandwich w/cabbage slaw
Dinner - not hungry

Friday (Start of Anniversary Weekend)
Breakfast- Apple + Chicken Biscuit
Lunch - Chicken w/spinach & tomato (Macaroni Grill's Lite Fare)
Dinner - None

Saturday
Breakfast - Waffle, eggs, toast, & OJ @ Waffle House w/Hubby
Lunch - none
Dinner - Steak, Potato, & Salad @ SaltGrass Steak House


Workout Diary...
Had lots of trouble getting in my groove this week. I was sleepy all week - probably because I wasn't working out or eating my best. So I didn't workout b/c I didn't have enough energy because I didn't work out....(sigh)...my head hurts.

Tuesday - 30 minutes elliptical + pushups + situps + leg lifts
Wednesday - 30 minutes elliptical
Thursday - no workout...too sleepy
Friday - no workout...too sleepy
Saturday - no workout...too sleepy

Buyer's Remorse

After balancing my checkbook tonight, I've had to take a bag of items and put them in the back of my car. It contains a few things I purchased from a an outlet store a couple of weeks ago. It's in my car because I need to return them.

While I was in the process of walking around this kitchen store and picking up various "neat" items, the thought did cross my mind multiple times that "I just didn't need the stuff". I shoved that thought to the back of my brain because I wanted the stuff and I deserved the stuff.

I didn't buy anything too frivolous - just a couple of pans and a Santuko knife. At the time, I figured I just had to have that knife because I've wanted a better knife for a long time. I figure that better tools will make me a more consistent efficient cook. The problem was I didn't NEED them and I actually bought the items without taking a look at my checkbook and counting the cost. Now, a couple of weeks later, I've decided that the items I purchased really weren't necessary and that I'd rather have the money to spend on other things. Now I've got to find the time to drive 40 minutes back to the outlet store to return my purchases.

Why do we do this? You know, wasting money on things we want or desire only to realize later that we spent our precious resources on products that just aren't that important when compared to other things that are more crucial. I can't even count the number of times that I've experienced some level of buyer's remorse. The high from spending unwisely doesn't last long at all.

This little spending escapade reminds me of how I feel when I spend money on food that "hits the spot" so to speak but holds absolutely no lasting value or nutritional content. Why do I do that?...spend money (and precious calories) on something that gives me a moments pleasure?

I am reminded of the scripture from Isaiah that says...

Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. - Isaiah 55.2 (KJV)

I love this version from The Message:

Why do you spend your money on junk food,your hard-earned cash on cotton candy? Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best, fill yourself with only the finest.

The fact is that in this day and time, the world is full of wasters - wasters of money, wasters of food, and wasters of time. We spend our resources and our years chasing after thrills, must-haves, and oh-I-want-its. Unfortunately, many folks end up near the end of their lives, only to realize that they have a giant case of buyer's remorse and the time limit for redeeming the years of bad choices has run out.

Life is too short to live looking back at regretful decisions. It's too short to mess up by making bad choices when there is a better path. We are not perfect beings and so we will have moments where we trip up. However, I don't want to live a life where I regularly trip over the same cracks.

Spending money I don't have doesn't bring joy.

Eating food with no nutritional value doesn't bring good health.

Wasting time and energy outside of my purpose and calling doesn't bring fulfillment.

Living to please anyone other than the Lord doesn't bring eternal significance.

I asked my paternal grandmother (who I fondly call Two Mama) what she would change if she could live her life over again. Her answer is etched in my mind forever. "Well, I didn't do things perfectly, but I did the best that knew to do at the time".

What else can we do but the best we know to do. My fault lies in choosing less than the best even when knowledge of the best choice exists. The result is always REMORSE.

So how do we avoid remorse. How do we avoid the feeling that we could have done better, avoided disaster, or steered clear of disappointment. The precious Word has an answer for that too:

Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near. Isaiah 55.6 (KJV)

And again, The Message is a wonderful paraphrase:

Seek God while he's here to be found,
pray to him while he's close at hand.
Let the wicked abandon their way of life
and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to God, who is merciful,
come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.

"I don't think the way you think.
The way you work isn't the way I work."
God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.

Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don't go back until they've watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They'll do the work I sent them to do,
they'll complete the assignment I gave them.

There is a simple way to avoid buyer's remorse. Follow God's instructions. His knowledge about life and it's twists and turns way surpasses ours. There are so many regretful decisions that we can avoid and pitfalls we can sidestep if we just stop to get instructions. God's Word truly is a light and a lamp that will guide our everystep if we will only use it.

His Word addresses everything, how we spend money, how we spend our time, and even how we should treat our bodies (NO OVEREATING).

I imagine a life where I'm free of that sinking feeling because I've made an avoidable decision. That life is possible if I following the directions I receive from Somebody that's already been there and back and is more than willing to be my Guide.

I imagine my life - a life lived without unnecessary pitfalls. I imagine a surrendered life - a life lived in humble submission to the direction of Another. I imagine my life - a life lived without buyer's remorse.

Weight Loss Journey 4/1 - 4/7

I'm slowly making changes to this site to personalize it a bit more since all my blogging will be done here. Sooner or later I'll get my weight loss ticker up. In the meantime, here are the stats.

Weight Loss This Week - 1 LB

Current Weight Loss - 25 LBS

LBS to go - 4 LBS (to meet short term goal...then we have to reset the goal...but one thing at a time :)

Workout Diary

Monday - didn't work out :(

Tuesday - 30 minutes on the elliptical machine

Wednesday - 30 minutes on the "elliptical machine and 15 minutes on the "sit-down bike". Situps and pushups (don't remember how many) and squats.

Thursday - Walked/Ran through the neighborhood for about 30 minutes. There's something about running on the street that makes you feel like you can't stop and walk with people looking you know :) Didn't overdo it b/c I was sore from Wednesday!

Friday - 30 minutes on the elliptical machine, two sets of pushups (20 each), and two sets of situps (25 each). Then I jumped on the bikeTraining session with Cophie. 30 minutes of cardio - 10 minutes elliptical and 20 minutes walking on an incline.

Saturday - Stayed home with a sick baby.

Eating Diary

So this was my second week without sugar. I'm really getting the hang of not eating any. It is so funny how putting action before feelings really does the trick. I'm gonna have to apply that philosophy to the rest of my life. I did have some sweets on Easter Sunday but they just didn't have the same effect on me. This was the goal - getting to the point where the cravings of my flesh don't control me...getting to the point where what my spirit wants for my body outweighs the wants of my flesh.

I do have to say that I didn't put a whole lot of energy into meal planning this week and I just got plain bored. I snacked alot but I chose healthy snacks because the Oreos in the pantry that have been staring at me for the last two weeks weren't an option.

I have learned that eating to live is a completely different mentality than living to eat. Every meal is not entertainment, nor does every meal have to be tantalizing to the tongue. Sometimes you just eat because it's time to eat and because you recognize that your body is a machine and has to have good fuel to run. That means that I was able to eat oatmeal w/o butter and sugar (I took mine out and then doctored up the kids version) because I was eating for a purpose and not for a taste. The same thing applies to popping raw veggies. I'm cutting up broccoli to steam for the kids for lunch and putting a few to the side for myself. I admit it tastes very "green" but again...the idea was purpose now taste...imagine that...developing a completely different mindset....hmmmm...

I've found my husband making a trip to Whataburger and calling me to see if I want him to bring me anything. I never in a million years pass up a hand-delivered fast food dinner/lunch/late night snack. But now,....it is unsettling to think of eating that junk on a regular. If I do eat it (which I have once during the past month). I'm irritated at myself for putting the junk in my mouth. On Thursday night, we drove through Whataburger. I ate a few of hubby's fries (because if you didn't know...Whataburger has the BEST fries in the world) and then ate a salad with HALF of the dressing they provided.

I'm falling in love with how I feel about me AFTER making a good decision. That feeling is a whole lot better than the feeling of being full of stuff that doesn't do my body good.

I am doing sugar this week. Trying to see what things look like when I try to operate in moderation. We'll see how this goes :)

Next Week's Goals

• Better Planning
• Exercise five days through a combination of gym plus at home workouts (Pilates DVD or a walk outside.
• Keep better documentation of what I eat...Seeing it in print is a wake up call :)
  
• Getting more rest!

Below the Belt...

Ummm....let's just say that today I was hit below the belt on my no sugar thing. As I have said before the no sugar thing is mainly for refined sugars and "sweets", but I have been trying to eat healthy in general though. The idea has been to watch my carbs and eat lots of veggies and a bit of fruit.

Well today, my oldest daughter, who is becoming quite a whiz in the kitchen, hit me below the belt.



For crying out loud....NO FAIR~~~

These are our "Pumpkin Muffins". This is how we cook pumpkin bread when we are in a hurry and don't want to wait on the loaf to cook. Divide the batter into a muffin tin, and ~VOILA~... same tasty goodness in less than half the time.

Whenever these are cooked up, they whisper sweet nothings in my ear from across the room, gently whooing me in their direction. I've had two since this morning...so far...

As you can see, I'm not the only one enjoying these...or am I :)

Pray for me!

This recipe is from my Mom who is the ultimate whiz in the kitchen. We grew up eating tons of it at Christmas time and sharing tons of it with friends and family during the holiday season. Per my four year old''s request, these are officially no longer reserved for a certain time of year.

The now is to limit my snacking so that these muffins don't literally show up below the belt!

Seven Days Without Sugar....and Counting!...

I made it! and I'm going to keep going another seven days.

As I wrote in the original post on this "No Sugar Journey":

I'm committed to going 7 days without refined sugar. I might stretch it to 14 days and then to 21 but right now I can't think that far. I'm avoiding "sweets", allowing myself natural sweetener on occasion (honey in tea for example). No oreos, no ice cream, no brownies, no sweet tea, no candy bars, no chocolate chip cookies (Lord help me), no Starbucks, etc..

This past week was challenging as I practiced the art of not putting certain things in my mouth out of habit, circumstance, and just plain 'ol lack of discipline. I tried my hardest to avoid situations that would provide the greatest temptations. The biggest problem was that life still goes on even whilst I'm attempting to become more disciplined!

Wednesday nights my sweet hubby takes the kids to church and I get a night off. It's really not a night off because I have a part-time WAHM job and I actually get work done when it's quiet around here. However, it's quiet here none the less. I take the opportunity to treat myself to dinner. You know, no kids, no sharing, and hot food - all brought to me while I sit, and taken away when I'm done....HEAVEN.

Normally, when I treat myself, the word TREAT implies that my scrumptuous dinner will be followed by....you guessed it...something sweet...preferrably something with chocolate...like a cookie served a 'la mode....WHEW!...IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE!

I didn't do it. I didn't cave. I sat down, looked at the menu and opted for the Salmon Caesar Salad.

On Friday, we had a family birthday party. My little cousin turned 3 and we celebrated at Chick Fil A (my digital camera is broken or else I'd have a pic or two). This was all out war! Cake was served as well as ice cream. What did I have? a salad...without my beloved sweet tea. My sister ordered a Oreo Cookie Shake and sat right in front of me slurping it up. How encouraging :(

Self-denial is empowering. Not only did my foray into no sugar land result in a week of victory, but eating sugar is somehow connected to eating bad in general. I was more empowered to avoid white flour, fried foods, eating late at night, and other detrimental norms.

Overall a good week. My indulgence was homemade wheat pancakes on Friday morning (our norm around here at the end of week), covered with a measured amount of pure maple syrup (oh and a vat pat of butter). I also did eat fruit during the week for good carbs, energy, and fiber. I thought about extending my little project into refined carbs but then I decided to take one thing at a time. I did good...but not that good...

So here we go...Week 2. I've already decided that on Easter Sunday I'll allow myself a furlough but I think I'm good for a 3 Week Commitment.

How's it going for those of you who were going to join me?

FYI for those that have been following the weight loss journey from the other blog, my weight didn't change last week. I am in the process of moving things over and I hope to have the weight change ticker up here soon! For now you can view it here.

Does Sugar Feed Cancer?

In the last week, I've tried my hardest to avoid sweets and refined sugar as much as possible. It's been a challenge but none the less very empowering to say NO to my self throughout the day. Also during the week, I've been doing a little research on sugar and it's effects on the human body. I found an article that explained the connection between sugar and cancer very well. Apparently, although sugar does not CAUSE cancer it does FEED CANCER. Here is an excerpt from the article:

Does Sugar Feed Cancer? "Does Sugar Feed Cancer." The simple answer is "Yes." Sugar feeds EVERY cell in the whole body. Every cell in you body uses glucose, a simple sugar, for energy. If we know that every cell in the body prefers or needs glucose (sugar) for energy, it is no surprise that "sugar feeds cancer." Just like other body cells, cancer cells use sugar for energy to grow and multiply. Remember, sugar doesn't 'feed' cancer any more than it 'feeds' other body cells. However, if you eat a lot of simple sugar on a regular basis, it raises body levels of certain hormones. These hormones include insulin, insulin-like growth factor, and other hormones that encourage cells to grow. These hormones are the problem, NOT the sugar. Research tells us that high levels of insulin and related hormones may increase cancer cell growth (1-6)!

I think most people acknowledge that sugar in excess is not a good thing to put in the human body if for no other reason than weight gain (my main issue). We recognize the effects on children when they've had too much. Folks that suffer from chronic migraines can attest to the negative effect of sugar on their condition. I can personally testify to my own lethargy and sleepiness after a Sunday afternoon meal that was full of large portion sizes and ended with "something containing choccolate".

However, as I've googled different word combinations involving sugar, I've run into quite a few commentaries on sugar and it's general weakening of the immune system. Specifically, I thought sugar's connection to cancer might be a little less known and worth posting about. Hope it helps someone!