Blog Neglect

Just in case you are wondering, I'm not permanently neglecting my blog. Following a weekend trip out of town, I know putting together the final touches for a week-long celebration of Gracie's 16th birthday.

...translated...

I just haven't had the time to blog.

...but I'll be back soon!

The Toll of Motherhood...

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I wanted to post this video and I couldn't help but comedically tie this swoon into the amount of work she must put in with her kids. Here's an interview of Marie Osmond by Larry King:

Why so many children? Why, since you adopted -- why?

M. OSMOND: You're fascinated with this.

KING: Why? Why?

M. OSMOND: Why not? I don't know.

KING: I mean, if you can have your own children, why also adopt children?

M. OSMOND: You know what, all I can say is that I asked my mother, I said, when did you know you were done? She says, "you'll know." So I had baby number five, I'm thinking, am I done? Baby number six, please, am I done?

KING: Who told you you were done?

M. OSMOND: I knew.

KING: Or are you done?

M. OSMOND: I knew. I just knew. It was fabulous.

KING: Are you done?

M. OSMOND: I am done. Are you happy about that, Larry?

KING: It just -- it fascinates me because it's so hard...

M. OSMOND: You know, it's a really interesting topic.

KING: Raising children is not easy.

M. OSMOND: Well, that's one of the things, is I think that, you know, the fact is, is I think a lot of times people think Marie Osmond, naive, goody-goody, you know, whatever. But having eight children, I'm interested. It's like we talk about everything from the statistic on depression. It's like 25 percent of the people have it now in the nation. If you have it, it's like three times more of a chance your child will have it. We talk about signs to see. We talk about all kinds of things. Raising children. We have experts on. Cutting parties. This is craziness that kids are in so much internal pain now that they go and slice themselves.

KING: So, the obvious becomes, again, why would you want more if it's that hard?

M. OSMOND: You know what, God has blessed me that I can raise them. And...

KING: Obviously.

M. OSMOND: And that I'm passionate. I came from a family of nine, it's not that big of a deal to have eight. But I love them, and they teach me. I don't teach them anything.

My mother shares with me how my own grandmother mothered eight children and didn't always feel well. I'm actually in the middle of a book on Susanna Wesley. Every pregnancy laid her on her back(and she gave birth to more than a dozen children). People assume that in order to be a great Mom and have lots of kids you have to be in tip-top condition and have more energy than all the other mothers on the block. It's just not true. Mothering goes beyond our American view of the woman who can "do it all". Mothering does not imply that you have to do it all. Bringing their own personalities, inadequacies, and faults to their tables, mothers simply have to be whole heartedly committed to doing their best and making their children a priority. And no, mothering does not always come naturally easy to everyone, but that's not the point. Easy is never part of the criteria for anything worth doing well.

Women have done it for years. They have raised wonderful people while working three jobs, without a wonderful education, or through sickness and disease.

Be encouraged. If you feel less than adequate or that you have some "thorn in the flesh" that would keep you from being the greatest mother ever alive, TAKE HEART. No, motherhood is not for punks, but it can be done by the less than perfect. We are all less than perfect. If you know Christ, you can rest assured...

Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

and that...

Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Waiting For The Heat To Kick In...

Our little Texas cold front, caught me off guard. It too a minute to get the heat revved up :)

Welcoming the Cold Front...

Last night I went to bed listening to the rain and I remember thinking that either it would cool things down or make it really muggy. Well...it cooled things down...ALOT...

I could have worn shorts yesterday, but today I was pulling out my sweaters. That's Texas for ya! Oh well...we were just waiting on the right moment to pull this out...

Gracie's Homemade Hot Chocolate

Women in Ministry - (Response Part IV)

If you didn't get a chance to read Part I or Part II or Part III of Mrs. Broggi's response to my letter and questions, be sure and get caught up before reading today's post!

You wrote:

It seems a bit harsh. Maybe it should be....maybe because there are so many unbalanced women out there, you feel the need to shake them up a bit.

Yes, I know it was a bit harsh. And yes, it was a tough thing to write about. I copy/pasted the next four paragraphs from my website in which I addressed this:

I took a risk when I submitted to my husband's leadership and posted this article. I know it. I wrote the journal after having had yet another conversation with a young mother who was contemplating taking a ministry position which would pull her from her home. It reminded me once again of the need for instructing God's women of His high and holy calling of wife and mother - which is a fulltime job. There's a time to be silent and a time to speak. I had nothing to gain and everything to lose by writing and posting the article. I know that too. 

A few women have written and scolded me especially because I referenced four famous women. I accept it and respect them for it. I only named these women because they are in the public and have such huge followings. This is appropriate - just as it is appropriate for anyone to publicly reference and express disagreement with me. And please understand, I am not saying that these women are not sincere or that they are not good mothers. I'm sure they are both!

I wrote from a perspective I believe we need to think through and I also know that if I dish it out, I must be able to take it - not only take it but think it through myself. I know I won't be able to answer each of you personally but with time, I hope to write and post another journal to deal with issues that you have raised. Yet far more than the scoldings have been those mama's who have been encouraged. And their letters remind me to press on.

Over the years, when I have been asked to teach at women's events (which I occasionally accept), I am always asked, "What is your fee?" I have no fee . . . as least not the way most women think. My fee is to see children get their mama's back, husbands get their wives back, and churches get their older women back. My passion is to see us as women think, really think biblically as it concerns the way we live out what we say we believe rather than follow the trends in the culture. We've abandoned the home - on a tidal wave - a wave so huge that we just ride it without really thinking. We must - as believing women - think through the messages we are sending to a new generation of young women. We must place ourselves under the microscope of God's Word.

You wrote:

Can't we have both? Can't we have women who have raised their children helping us go deeper in the Word.

God has placed parameters around women's ministry. We need to spend more time helping women learn how to go deeper into the Word as it relates to biblical womanhood in all spheres of life.

You wrote:

Can't we have older women helping us to learn our jobs as mothers and giving us hope that one day we will have the option of doing other things as the Lord leads?

What other things are you speaking of? See, as a woman grows and learns her job as a mother - there will be a whole new generation of young mothers who need be taught and it is the older woman's job to teach, encourage, and train them. Still, your question sounds as though raising children is just something to get through and "hope for that one day when we will have the option of doing other things" - I personally don't ever want to get rusty in mothering - I am a grandmother now - I have a daughter-in-law and soon will have another (my oldest son is getting married in August) - my "mothering" will never be over or finished.

When all is said and done - I'll probably have 10 children instead of 5 if all of mine get married. Then if they accept God's norm of bringing children into the world - there will be another generation for me to pour my life into. It never ends in this life till Jesus comes. I better not ever get rusty.

You wrote:

When talking about Mrs. Lotz and Mrs. Briscoe, you discuss their frustration with mothering. Although I get your point about how they were not encouraged to find joy and fulfillment in mothering, do you honestly feel as though every women will LOVE IT? My sister struggles. She loves her children, she loves her family, but she doesn't love the job of mothering. After reading the article, it seems that you leave no room for women of all makes and temperaments. I do believe that mothering is a choice. I know older ladies that gave their children their all, but they are glad that season is over with. They don't miss the diapers, the dirty dishes, or constant laundry....but they were diligent and committed during that season.

I don't know your sister, but if I had some time with her, I would ask her why she struggles. And I would ask her if there is a misplaced longing to be somewhere other than where God has placed her. One of the biggest reasons so many young women struggle with mothering is because they are trying to do too many other things at the same time. They want it all. I know women with young children who are gifted Bible teachers and I tell them all the time - teach your children the Bible - teach children!

If your sister has a husband and children, they are her priority - they are her fulltime job - and a fulltime job cannot be done properly in a woman's spare time. It is not a hobby - it is a calling. If God has given children to your sister, then she is called to be a mother. And we have to ask God to give us the heart for it - an undivided heart. Yes, there are struggles with any calling and/or job. I immediately think of Jonah whom God had called to go to Ninevah but he did not want to go. His struggle with his calling didn't relieve him of his responsibility or his obedience to God.

Most women, I believe, just need a fresh perspective about this high and holy calling. God never promised us that being a wife or mother or homemaker would be easy. What job is? I mean, really? In fact, God's curse on women was in these very areas. God didn't change His plan because Eve sinned - she'd still be a helper to her husband and mother to children - yet now these areas in her life would bring struggle. This is the VERY REASON God says that young women must be taught even to love their husbands and children. This is the very reason older women are supposed to know doctrine as it relates to home and family. Temperaments have nothing to do with it. I constantly have to bring my feelings, attitudes, and selfishness under the scrutiny of God's Word. He is the One Who gave this calling to women. Not me.

I am a sinful fallen woman who wants what I want - yet God hasn't given up on me. Satan is always there tempting women to place everything and anything above His calling - even good, spiritual things.

Now, about your saying that you believe mothering is a "choice." Do you mean the choice to have children? Or the choice to mother them? Mothering is not a choice - God is the author of life. He is the One Who opens and closes the womb even though we think we have it all under control.

If a woman chooses to get married - then the physical act brings forth children. That's God's plan - His way. He wants His people to raise a godly heritage and once again this job cannot be done in our spare time.

We're seeing as a nation what is happening when women celebrate themselves so much that they don't invest the best hours of their days to their families.
Also, just because a woman is past the diapering, dirty dishes, constant laundry stage in her own life (though frankly, I don't know if that ever ends unless you have a full time housekeeper - smiles), doesn't mean that any of that was demeaning or beneath her. Those very things are humble service - a way to demonstrate to our families what Jesus taught when He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.

Women have far too long screamed for the place of honor - rather than humble service. It is in the home we learn to be like Jesus. Any woman can be all spiritual with her Christian friends at a women's retreat. But the rubber meets the road in the home. I could teach on this the rest of my life and still not even scratch the surface.

Well, Chrystal, I guess I have just about written a book - in between taking care of my grandson, Jack and my thirteen-year-old son, Jameson. Jameson flew up to Boston with me to help out but he has been throwing up all day so I have been taking care of both of them!

Thank you again for taking the time to write. Occasionally I feel compelled to write a long answer - this was one such time. I hope I didn't blow you away!

I pray God's blessings on you and your family.

Audrey Broggi

I'll post my thoughts on next week...

Women in Ministry - (Response Part III)

If you didn't get a chance to read Part I or Part II of Mrs. Broggi's response to my letter and questions, be sure and get caught up before reading today's post!

You wrote:

I'm not sure that I am connecting that principle you are presenting in your article with these women and the way they are currently living their lives, running their ministries, and delivering their messages. Can you clarify?

Since I don't know them personally, I can observe from an objective standpoint. My husband can observe from an objective standpoint. And I wonder as a ministry wife and mother myself - should I leave my home on a consistent basis to minister to women? I mean, really? Should I teach men just because they want to come hear me? Should I teach like a man?

I didn't even cover the issues of women teaching men in my original article. I didn't even cover the helper role of a wife in the article and how so many women are the heads of their own ministries and who even knows where their husbands fit in.

God has clearly spelled out women's ministry and how He wants it to function in the pastoral epistles. He knows what women need - not necessarily what they want.

Although there are many women who do not like what I teach - I know God has called me to teach it. I also know that many women are absolutely starved for solid biblical teaching on women's roles in the home and church.

I looked for those kinds of women when I was a young mother - and my frustration led me to cry out to the Lord and ask Him to show me how to be a wife and mother His way - for my own family and for the generations of mothers who would come after me.

This is not to say I didn't have positive examples and good women in my life. I did. But they didn't necessarily have God's perspective on these issues. And the few who did didn't understand the doctrine behind it.

You wrote:

I agree with you that there is so little encouragement, teaching, and discipleship from older women to younger women but does that mean that every time an older woman encourages a younger woman by saying that the day is coming when there will be more to her life than diapers, is this wrong?

I think the better approach for the older woman would be to encourage the young woman that days of diapers are every bit as important as some imagined distant day in the future. What if that distant day never comes? We are not promised one more minute. I would rather tell a young mom that diaper days are critical, crucial and very important work.

It's interesting that your letter comes to me as I am keeping my grandson for a few days while my son and daughter-in-law are in Chicago for her brother's wedding. My life right now is diapers - yet so much more. The day has come for my life to be filled with diapers again. A young mother should be told that diapering is ministry - see, a woman's perspective needs to be adjusted rather than promising that some future day out there that supposedly is better. Even though older women don't mean to, they are sending the message that life with diapers is a nothing life. God knew what He was doing when Mary's older woman, Elizabeth, was diapering at the same time as she was. They were both doing kingdom work right then and there - not just preparing for the day when Jesus and John could be released and they could pursue other things. In fact we see Mary all throughout the life of Jesus - up to the cross and then in the Upper Room at Pentecost. Her mothering never ended. And since she had other children, it is safe to assume that she had plenty of grandchildren to diaper as she became the older woman of her generation.

Somehow we've got to get past the thinking that the only kingdom work is the big time or girlfriend time. While Mary mothered Jesus - it was quiet - but it was kingdom work. Only one young mother raised THE SAVIOR, but all the others are raising little "saviors" to be used of God in this wicked and perverse generation. None of us would have ever told Mary that "her day" was coming while she had the privilege of changing the diaper of Jesus.

And while we're speaking of diapers - what's wrong with that anyway? What's wrong with rocking and cuddling and answering 100+ questions, and wiping snotty noses, cleaning up throw-up, and playing blocks on the floor? This is kingdom work. And it's not just something to get through so you can get on to something bigger. This is big.

You wrote:

I am perusing your site and looking at the ministry you have to wives and mothers. The lady that you mentioned in your article that encouraged to hope for ministry...was she so terrible?

I knew her and her children. It is very sad what happened for the sake of "ministry." She was not terrible - but her perspective was.

You do have a wonderful ministry today.

My "ministry" today is just the broader scope of what I have always done. I learned to teach the Bible by teaching my own children, children in my neighborhood (CEF club), and children at church. The messages I teach today were first taught to children because I figured if God entrusted children to me (whether my own or the neighbor children who showed up at my door), He wanted me to take their little lives seriously. In fact, when the "ministry" to women in my church took shape, it was because younger women were asking me to teach mothering things. I sat down and asked the Lord to help me write what He had been teaching me so that I could invite them into my home and teach the Bible as it related to women. So, what you have been perusing on my site is the outgrowth of a 6-week Bible study in my home where my older children kept my younger ones upstairs.

When our church built our first building - the Bible study blossomed with my boys as the sound guys and as helpers in the children's ministry. Today my youngest son carries on the tradition - he's the only one of my children still at home. It truly was and is a family ministry. Every time I've been invited to teach at a woman's conference, or retreat, or banquet, my daughter has accompanied me - she was and is my very first "younger" woman. I remember once when I was driving up to speak on biblical modesty at a mother/daughter banquet, I saw the immodest women and panicked. How in the world were they going to tolerate what God wanted me to teach and what they had asked me to teach? I expressed that thought to my then high school daughter as I was trying to decide what other easier-to-hear message I could whip out. My own daughter challenged me, "Mom, these are the very women who NEED to hear this!"

Click HERE for Part IV

I Got An Award!!!

There are hundreds of awards handed out around blogland and I've never gotten one until now! Thanks to Rachel of Home Sanctuary for thinking enough of my blog to give me this:

I try to write and focus on what I'm led to talk about versus what will get me more visitors, more comments, or even an award, but it's nice to know that my blog is appreciated and valued by someone else. Thanks again Rach! You made my day!

Women in Ministry - (Response Part II)

If you didn't get a chance to read Part I of Mrs. Broggi's response to my letter and questions, be sure and get caught up before reading today's post!

You wrote:

Could you please explain why your article specifically points to these women?

Because they are the big name teachers with huge followings.

You wrote:

Are you saying that their only teaching ministry should be one of ministry to women about a woman's role in the home?

No - God includes purity, kindness, and sensibility. Not to mention the very qualifications of the older women - reverent behavior, control of the tongue, and self-control. Everything a woman has learned as she has grown older should be passed down to the young women. But I will say that it is my observation that women today teach everything BUT a woman's role in the home.

You wrote:

Or are you saying that because women in audiences everywhere are glorifying these ladies, that these same women are themselves reveling in a ministry outside their families.

I cannot say that the women are "reveling in a ministry outside their families." But I do sense that we have a disturbing trend among Christian women that promotes a mindset that women must get away from their families on a consistent basis to be fulfilled and good and spiritual and all that. Frankly, I get sick and tired about all the "girlfriend time." I just got a brochure wanting me to promote a big girlfriend cruise so we can all laugh and have a good time and be refreshed. Why can't we teach women how to laugh and have a good time and be refreshed in the middle of what God has called us to do? I can't help but think of John the Baptist languishing in prison and sending two of his disciples to Jesus asking, "Are You the Expected One, or do we look for someone else?"

My heart breaks every time I think about that man sitting in that cell - all because He loved Jesus. Well, Jesus sent back an encouraging message to John - "Go and report to John what you have seen and heard: the BLIND RECEIVE SIGHT, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the POOR HAVE THE GOSPEL PREACHED TO THEM. Blessed is he who does not take offense at Me."

Jesus didn't release John from prison or "send him on a cruise to get away." Jesus sent an encouraging word - He let John know that John had not wasted his life - the message he spent his life preaching was right. This had to have been encouraging to John. This had to have brought him much joy and refreshment to him. And as you know, he was beheaded a short time later.
Please understand, I'm not saying that I don't love my girlfriends and that I don't enjoy being with them. But I want to love my family and enjoy being with them more. And I want to help young women find their joy in the Lord and in His priorities for their lives. I want to see them enjoying their husbands and children - and more than girlfriend time.

Also, my pastor husband along with many of his colleagues are concerned that about so many women who return from all these conferences wanting to be a speaker or Bible teacher like so-n-so or counting the days until the next big event - rather than being recharged to serve God in the most sacred place of home.

Another brochure I received a few years ago was called Global Celebration for Women. I was not impressed. It was all about exalting women, calling attention to women, celebrating women.

I think women's conferences can be good IF they focus on God's design for women as outlined in Scripture.

But at this conference there was not one workshop or main session devoted to biblical mothering, grandmothering, being a biblical wife, or the home. Why not?

Across the globe ~ MOST women are mothers and wives. If this was a global celebration for women ~ why not teach on this role that God has not only given to most women, but that most women have accepted?

Instead they were celebrating what God has done for women; they were rejoicing in women's contributions to kingdom building (perhaps they hit it there); they were motivating and valuing women in their giftedness; exciting women for evangelism (I personally believe that we need to excite women to evangelize their own children); and equipping women to touch the world.

Not a word about touching the world through raising a godly heritage. Mary and Elizabeth touched the world by raising their boys.

So yes, I am concerned about the Christian careerism/feminism that has infiltrated the church where even believing women are not convinced of the timelessness of God's Word as it concerns women's ministry.

Now it seems to be all about "getting away," "me time," "time with the girls" - it seems to be becoming the drive and focus of women's lives and even Christian women's lives - to an extreme.

The constant influx of these brochures try to pull me and the women in my church away from our homes and church responsibilities to attend some conference somewhere with a bunch of women - a conference that will cost us a lot of money and time away from the very place God has called us to be. Another one was offered last summer a couple of summers ago-
$114/person ($99.00 for groups of 4 or more), $29 for extra seminar, $29 for extra evening seminar, $12.00 for Praise and Worship concert, $12.00 for "Ask the experts" teen evening.

All this plus hotel, travel, meals . . . and time. No refunds. Please understand, I'm not saying that there's never a place for women's retreats or conferences but they should be geared to helping women do what God has called us to do. And they shouldn't be the drive and focus of a woman's life. Real ministry happens in the everyday, in the throws of what seems to be mundane - seeing, trusting, and believing God as we diaper babies, lose sleep, break up sibling fights, serve our husbands, clean our bathrooms, mentor young women walking through life.
We need a generation of older women who know doctrine - who know God's Word and can take it and show young women how it applies to their everyday lives.

Because I am a ministry wife with five children, I have done my homework in biblical women's ministry.

As a young woman growing up in a pastor's home, now as a pastor's wife, as a ministry wife serving alongside my husband through our years with Campus Crusade at Duke University, and our years at DTS and Southwestern Baptist Seminary where my husband earned his doctorate, my years of teaching children and high school girls, and as a mother teaching my own children, I know that the messages sent by the church seem to be the same ones sent by the world. I do not believe this is the intent of believers - yet this is what is happening.

Click HERE for Part III

Women in Ministry - (Response Part I)

In response to my letter and questions, Mrs. Broggi was kind enough to respond. Her response was quite lengthy so I will posting it in pieces over the next few days.

Dear Chrystal,

First of all, let me thank you for writing and for reading the article. You sound like a very perceptive young woman - the kind I would love to disciple and spend time with! I will try to answer some of your questions. Your concerns are italicized and then I give a response. And let me go ahead and warn you - this response is long. Smiles!

You wrote:

Although I understand and agree with the point that many women today are being encouraged into ministry primarily outside of their homes, how do Beth Moore, Kay Arthur, and some of the others you mentioned directly contribute to this?

The focus of their ministries has not been through the lens of Titus 2. They do in practice what God calls men to do, thus contributing to women in the church being dissatisfied with their pastors and/or usurping their biblical authority. Their ministries also contribute to women seeking Christian careers outside of the home "like Beth" or "like Kay." Also, all of the women I mentioned in the article violate the clear teaching of 1 Timothy 2:9-15 and 1 Corinthians 14 in that they freely teach and exercise authority over men.

I know Beth and Kay personally. I know that Beth was home with her children and didn't start her public ministry until they were older, if not when they had graduated from high school. Kay Arthur personally told me that there are too many young mothers today abdicating their little ones for responsibilities outside the home. She has told my sister the same thing.

I have also heard both Kay & Beth include the message of motherhood and family in their messages. I'm not sure that I understand your criticism "Over the years, I have learned that none of the big name women Bible teachers help women in this area." I think they have. Is it their main ministry platform? No. Is that wrong? I don't think so.

I respectfully disagree with you. It's one thing to "include the message of motherhood and family" - it's quite another thing to teach from the grid of Titus 2. Every woman "Bible teacher" should teach through the Titus 2 lens. God gave the curriculum, not me. The book of Titus was written to tell us how a healthy church is to function. God is very specific in speaking about the pastors/elders qualifications and their leadership in chapter 1. He turns the corner in chapter 2 and addresses all the groups within the church - one of those groups being the older women. God calls that particular group to be the teachers/disciplers/encouragers/trainers of the young women. But God doesn't leave it "up for grabs" as to what they are to teach. He lays out His agenda. So whether an older woman teaches through a book of the Bible or on a specific topic to a group of women or whether she is discipling women one on one, she should teach how and what God has said. She is not to usurp the role of her pastor, elders, or husband in this area.

When women step outside of God's parameters, they open themselves up for deception. When God says that He doesn't permit a woman to teach and exercise authority over men, He links it to Eve and her being deceived. I do not necessarily believe that Mrs. Moore or Mrs. Arthur intentionally want to lead women astray but I do believe this is what is happening.

As you said, I'm sure they include the message of motherhood and family in their messages but including it is much different than speaking from the grid of the Titus 2 model. Look again at those verses in Titus - they are found right smack dab in the middle of Paul's letter telling Pastor Titus how the church is to function. He echoes the same truth when writing to Pastor Timothy. And it all fits with creation and Proverbs. God knows how He wants women's ministry to be carried out. And sometimes I wonder if His heart is grieved over how so many Christian women wish for something - anything other than what God has said. We're still listening to the evil one who whispers, "Did God really say that?"

Remember, the nature of deception is that you don't even know you're deceived.

My intent in writing the article was to get women to think about God's very clear teaching in His Word concerning His heart for women in ministry. I knew it was strong, edgy, and controversial (it shouldn't be controversial) and I thought at first my only audience would be my husband. He is the one who decided for it to be printed and posted.

I wrote it for a number of reasons. I see well-meaning passionate young women who want to be used of God neglecting their homes or feeling guilty because they are not "out there." God never calls us to ministry in contradiction to His Word. God doesn't speak extra-biblical revelation to us. His Word never changes and it transcends time and culture. So as women, we have to answer the question, "What does God's Word say about women's ministry and how it is to function?" As a woman whom God has gifted to teach His Word, I had to ask questions like, "Are there parameters God places on me?"

I don't want to step outside of His will - not for one moment!

As women, we must bring ourselves and our ministries in line with His Word.

You wrote:

I think that teaching on mothering and homemaking is best done one on one anyway. How much can you really learn in an arena filled with 20,000 about cooking healthy meals or nursing babies, or child discipline. The discipleship model works best for this don't you think?

Depends on what you mean by mothering and homemaking and depends on whether an arena filled with 20,000 is all that great. I personally teach women all the time (though I would rather teach children any day of the week, smiles) and I have taught books of the Bible and topics but I teach so women can take the truth of God's Word and apply it to their homes and families and/or in their single life. And just for the record, I believe every woman, whether married or not, needs to understand and know what God says about mothering, being a wife, home and family. As women grow older, it is their God-given responsibility to teach the young women. Nancy DeMoss is a wonderful godly example of a woman who is single yet has done her homework in this area. She does teach through the lens of Titus 2.

Also, to assume that mothering and homemaking is only about cooking healthy meals, nursing babies, and child discipline is missing the point. Mothering and homemaking are best and rightly understood through a sound foundation of biblical doctrine and applying that doctrine to every area of life.

Click HERE for Part II!

Women in Ministry - (My Letter to Ms. Broggi)

OK...Before reading this post make sure you read this blog post first.

If you are all caught up on things....then...here is the full text of my letter to Mrs. Broggi:

Dear Mrs. Broggi,

I just read your article from Spring/Summer 2006 on Women in Ministry. First of all, let me say that from a principle standpoint I agree wholeheartedly with the point that you make about the ministry of women in the home. After reading, I don't know how else to describe how I feel except to say I'm "on fire". There is a connection of sorts because you mentioned that your husband went to DTS. My Dad went too. He was actually the first African-American to receive his doctorate from the seminary and I was the seminary baby :). Also my sister is a DTS graduate.

My heart bleeds for mothers and for the lost love and art of mothering. I could go into more detail about how I am currently working to expose Moms I know to the message you so eloquently share on your website. But rather than talk about me any longer, I wanted to ask you some questions about your article. There were a few spots where I wasn't clear on some of the information you presented. I have already forwarded to my Mommy Friends (we have a small little online network where we encourage and support one another). In passing along your message, I want to make sure that I understand some things.

Let me reiterate, I agree with your article, but I do have questions about a few of your points.

Although I understand and agree with the point that many women today are being encouraged into ministry primarily outside of their homes, how do Beth Moore, Kay Arthur, and some of the others you mentioned directly contribute to this? I know Beth and Kay personally. I know that Beth was home with her children and didn't start her public ministry until they were older, if not when they had graduated from high school. Kay Arthur personally told me that there are too many young mothers today abdicating their little ones for responsibilities outside the home. She has told my sister the same thing.

I have also heard both Kay & Beth include the message of motherhood and family in their messages. I'm not sure that I understand your criticism "Over the years, I have learned that none of the big name women Bible teachers help women in this area." I think they have. Is it their main ministry platform? No. Is that wrong? I don't think so. I think that teaching on mothering and homemaking is best done one on one anyway. How much can you really learn in an arena filled with 20,000 about cooking healthy meals or nursing babies, or child discipline. The discipleship model works best for this don't you think?

Could you please explain why your article specifically points to these women? Are you saying that their only teaching ministry should be one of ministry to women about a woman's role in the home? Or are you saying that because women in audiences everywhere are glorifying these ladies, that these same women are themselves reveling in a ministry outside their families. I'm not sure that I am connecting that principle you are presenting in your article with these women and the way they are currently living their lives, running their ministries, and delivering their messages. Can you clarify?

Also, there are ministries out there that EXIST to encourage women in the role of mothering....Above Rubies, MOPS, Proverbs 31, Donna Otto, to name a few. They might not all do it perfectly, but their sole purpose is to encouragement women in their role as wives/mothers. Your article pointed so much to what was wrong in Christendom, but there are some people trying to counterbalance the negativity surrounding our role as women.

I agree with you that there is so little encouragement, teaching, and discipleship from older women to younger women but does that mean that everytime an older woman encourages a younger woman by saying that the day is coming when there will be more to her life than diapers, is this wrong? I am perusing your site and looking at the ministry you have to wives and mothers. The lady that you mentioned in your article that encouraged to hope for ministry...was she so terrible? You do have a wonderful ministry today. Although, I'm sure she could have encouraged you in what you were doing AND also encouraged you to look towards days without little ones, isn't it possible that her heart was right? Maybe she already saw in you the call you felt for mothering. Maybe she thought that you didn't need encouragement because you were already doing such a good job. I don't know that woman or her intention but I do know my Mom. She was home with me and encourages me now in my role as a wife and a mother, but it also does give me additional hope when she talks of how my gifts and talents will CONTINUE to be used for my family and others later in life. I don't view her encouragement as a put down on mothering at all. She is encouraging me regarding different seasons of my life.

Maybe your article is so condemning of women who tell mother's about future ministry because in your experience that is all there is....maybe in your experience there are hardly ANY older women encouraging mothers to be at home with their children and to give their families their all. When I read your article I understood, yet also bristled because in MY experience, I have had a balanced message. I hear that I am doing the most important thing and that when I have more time later that I might also use this ministry to encourage others - other mothers as well as other Christians in general.

I am a praise and worship leader at my church. I used to lead 1-2 Sundays a month. Now I lead maybe 2-3 times a year. I don't continue to lead because I am looking for some outside fulfillment but because it is my passion and I believe it is a gift from God. I use it in my home AND I use it to edify the body of Christ as my home responsibilities and my husband allows. I love my home and love my kids. When we rehearse, I have singers come to my home so that I can rehearse AFTER my babies are sleeping. So I get your point. I'm just not sure that I understand all of the assumptions you make regarding these specific "big name" ministries and well-meaning older ladies. It seems a bit harsh.

Maybe it should be....maybe because there are so many unbalanced women out there, you feel the need to shake them up a bit. I just feel like your article makes a great point and conclusion using data that may not be complete or that is one-sided. The article carries such a positive message but from such a negative argument. It makes the point hard to hear because I have to shuffle through things that I'm not sure are completely true (1. The big name ladies aren't supportive of mothering and family first and 2. All older women encouraging younger women devalue motherhood just because they point toward that one day the younger women will be more free to minister to others.)

Can't we have both? Can't we have women who have raised their children helping us go deeper in the Word. Can't we have older women helping us to learn our jobs as mothers and giving us hope that one day we will have the option of doing other things as the Lord leads?

Maybe your point is that we should have both but that our Christian society of women DON'T generally do both? OK...I'm rambling but I think you get my point.

OK... there is one more thing I wanted to ask...

When talking about Mrs. Lotz and Mrs. Briscoe, you discuss their frustration with mothering. Although I get your point about how they were not encouraged to find joy and fulfillment in mothering, do you honestly feel as though every women will LOVE IT? My sister struggles. She loves her children, she loves her family, but she doesn't love the job of mothering. After reading the article, it seems that you leave no room for women of all makes and temperaments. I do believe that mothering is a choice. I know older ladies that gave their children their all, but they are glad that season is over with. They don't miss the diapers, the dirty dishes, or constant laundry....but they were diligent and committed during that season.

Let me reiterate I agree with all of your principles. I just thought I bring to your attention some spots where the article left me a little unsteady about assumption made about other women in ministry, intentions of older women, and the feelings a woman may have, even as she follows God's leading.

I know I have rambled. I would love to hear from you. Please feel free to email me back as well as call if an email would take too long. Also, feel free to leave me your number if you'd like for me to foot the bill (I am in Texas). Rest assured, I am not a crazy lady. I sincerely want to understand some of the finer points of your article. Thanks for taking the time to read this email. God bless you in the work you are doing to draw mothers back to the original call and plan of God.

I typed this in a hurry. The babies are sleeping and I need to start dinner but I really wanted to pose my questions to you. Excuse any grammar mishaps or awkward sentences.

Grateful to be living my life,

Chrystal

Stay tuned for Mrs. Broggi's responses...I'll be posting a little bit each day throughout the week. She was gracious enough to respond but it was LONG so I won't post it all in one day. If you just want to read all of it at once - just go HERE.

Audrey Broggi on Women in Ministry

First of all a warning. Only read this post if you don't mind being challenged in your thinking because this will either make you extremely angry or provoke you to think and seek the Lord for yourself.

A few weeks ago, I was perusing around blogland and found my way to a blog (I don't remember which one) that had a link to a post authored by Mrs. Audrey Broggi. I read the post and was immediately struck by the straightforward and pointed tone she used in her article to make her thoughts clear to anyone who would read. My emotions ran the gamut as I tried to filter through the article. In fact, I was so moved and a bit confused at times by the article that I sent a letter to Mrs. Broggi asking MANY questions in relation to things she stated. Mrs. Broggi was kind enough to respond to that letter. Mrs. Broggi has since read both my letter on her radio show and answered my questions publicly for others to hear. I'll post the response first thing next week. I am posting her article today, and later my questions with her responses - both with her permission.

Let me warn you again. This post will probably cause extreme agreement or, for many of you, extreme disagreement. I would encourage you to seek to understand why you feel the way you do after reading the article. Take a second look at yourself, your assumptions, convictions, and your opinions in light of the goal of glorifying God with the life you live. Please know that I do not have some hidden agenda or "holier than thou" point to make. I'm just a girl, wearing grown woman's shoes, who is seeking to live out God's plan for my life in full.

OK...(deep breath)...here we go...

This Women in Ministry Thing
Spring/Summer 2006 Edition
Apr 18 2006

Before you read this journal, let me say something. I don't have a personal problem with Jill Briscoe or Ann Graham Lotz or Beth Moore or Kay Arthur or any of the rest of the celebrity women Bible teachers. I'm sure they love the Lord - I don't doubt their zeal for a moment. However, I strongly disagree with their ministry lifestyles and how they model such lifestyles for young women. I believe they are wrong and are (though perhaps unintentionally) having a negative influence on the family. I pray for them because their influence is huge and it encourages a lifestyle inconsistent with Scripture even if that is not what they mean to do. Though it seems at times that I am a lone voice, and though you may not like what you’re about to read, this is the way I see it.

OK. Everyone relaxed? Now continue reading if you don't mind being challenged:

This whole “women in ministry thing” bugs me to death. I just read, with great disappointment Dallas Theological Seminary’s Veritas publication, Vol. 5, No. 2 April 2005.

Here is Jill Briscoe - the confessing egalitarian that she is – addressing men and dare I say, women, who are preparing for ministry at DTS’ Chafer Chapel on October 20, 2004. I will come back to Jill Briscoe in a moment. But I want to set the stage first.

This issue of women in ministry is very disturbing to me for a number of reasons. The first being I thought Dallas Seminary took the biblical view of women in ministry. My husband received his ThM from said school in 1988. I was busy helping him, keeping our home, raising our two toddler boys, giving birth to our daughter and subsequently our 3rd son. Yes, that would be 4 children in all – yes in seminary – and yes without my seeking employment outside the home and yes, we were determined to do it God’s way. We somehow didn’t think while preparing for a ministry profession we should practice a lifestyle inconsistent with Scripture. What a novel thought. Oh, I earned some extra income Proverbs 31-style from the home but neither my husband nor I were willing for me to give up my primary ministry in the home. How could we teach others to obey God if we saw ourselves as “exceptions” during our seminary years? And that brings me back to why the “women in ministry” thing bugs me to death.

I guess I got my first taste of being bugged when a nice older “ministry” lady, during those days came up to me and said, “Someday, when your children are all tucked away, perhaps you can have a ministry too.” I guess, in my ignorance, I thought I was having ministry as I helped my husband, mothered our children, and kept house. Silly me. I had four little children and they seemed to need me. Carl was very busy in seminary and serving as Pastor of Evangelism at a large church, and he had just been asked to head up the Executive Ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. And I was quite content teaching the Bible to my children, leading them to Christ, having them as my disciples and doing “ministry” from my kitchen sink, the playground, the supper table, and the back yard. You know, from the home. Didn’t know that this wasn’t real ministry.

I attended a “strategic planning meeting” with Carl in one of the exclusive hotels in Dallas because we were going to start a Bible study for executives and plan evangelistic outreach dinner parties with the “up-and-outers” in the Dallas Community. It was as we walked to the elevator after the meeting that the woman took my hand in hers and encouraged me to hope for a ministry one day.

She certainly didn’t encourage me as a mother. No – in fact, had I not had deep convictions rooted in Scripture, I might have been tempted to think that what I was doing at home had no ministry significance whatsoever.

See, a woman like me fulfilling her God-given role at home was obviously not ministry according to this older woman and the rest of the Christian world. I was getting the message – though I was not going to give in. The stakes were too high. The only thing that seemed to matter to this Christian “ministry” woman and so many others like her was outside the home. Doing stuff outside the home, ministering to other women – really ministering to anybody other than a husband and children ~ was the only real ministry.

And didn’t I know that I couldn’t learn the Bible by teaching it to my own children or children in my neighborhood or children at church?

That kind of stuff ~ well, that was OK ~ but it was not where the action was. It certainly wasn’t where REAL ministry took place. REAL ministry would happen someday when my children were all tucked away – you know, out of my hair and out of my house.

Hmmm. What that nice older woman didn’t realize was that her words would pierce my heart and further me on my journey to study God’s Word about “women in ministry.”

See, the family can always take the back seat ~ even for the sake of “the call.” You know what they say, “God will take care of the children for the sake of ministry.”

This is the mindset ~ home and family, domestic things, you know things like preparing meals, cleaning, doing laundry, educating the children – all that stuff – is in the way of ministry, those things interfere with your walk with God, and certainly all that stuff gets in the way of fun and personal time.

The mindset in our American Culture, even among believers, is that we must “get rid of” the domestic scene to have ministry.

Hmmm, again. If that’s true, makes me wonder why God spends so much time in His word instructing in these domestic issues.

After all, He is One Who made woman to be a helper suitable for her husband and called her “mother” right in Genesis. He is the Author of Proverbs 31 and showed us how domestic she was and that it should be her husband and children who would call her blessed. At least, they are the ones who should call her blessed.

I guess somewhere along the way, Christian women decided to listen to Betty Friedan and decided they’d rather have the corporate world, or the “real ministry” world, or the girl’s club, or all the women out there call them blessed.

Yet Scripture is oh so clear. God is also the One Who said He wanted young widows to get married, bear children, and keep house in keeping with the role of young women. He is the One Who described a godly older woman as someone who has brought up children and been the wife of one man among other things. He’s the One Who said He wants women to be workers at home and included a laundry list (no pun intended) of 6 other domestic duties in Titus 2:3-5.

And guess who are supposed to teach the women how to do these domestic things? Surprise! Older women. Hmmmm for the third time, I think that’s a tough sell in our day of “ministry women.” Oh the older will clamor to teach all right – they’ll teach like the men – but the list in Titus? Isn’t that a little, um, sexist?

I mean, how can you teach something you’ve never done or that you don’t believe is all that important?

Think about it. If you do women’s ministry God’s way, will you be traveling all over the country (and/or world) consistently leaving the domestic scene? Will you be “put up” in nice hotels and receive per diem for your meals? Will you get top billing with men to whom you are not married?

I don’t think so. And you won’t have a million dollar publishing industry pushing you to an adoring public, you won’t be a celebrity – except to little fans who ask you for more than your autograph and a picture – they want you to read a story. And you certainly won’t have a personal assistant making your appointments and answering your correspondence unless, of course, you train your children to do it and then they will grow up leaving you to fend for yourself. Nope – better employ some other mothers to do those things so you are freed up and they can have “real ministry” too.

And you won’t get to leave your home for extended times of “seclusion” so you can “hear from God” and write Bible studies to tell women how to live in His presence. Imagine that. You’ll have to learn to hear from God and live in His presence while making sandwiches for toddlers who like peanut butter. You’ll have to lunch with a 4-year-old who asks how stars stay in the sky rather than discuss your husband with board members at Starbucks.

You’ll have to settle for a relaxed wardrobe rather than Kate Spade or Prada or Marc Jacobs. You won’t have a stage or bright lights or a worship band unless you count your kitchen table, a few flashlights on a dark night, and kids singing.

You know, I once went to Precept Training Institute or whatever it is that they call it. I was a young pastor’s wife, 31 years old, with 4 small children. The women in our church wanted a women’s Bible study and they asked me to teach it.

I wasn’t really sure if this was the right time of my life to be doing this but I sought the training – I wanted to do it right. I will never forget pulling out of my driveway that Friday night (the training would begin in the evening and last all day on Saturday) and seeing my little boy Grant, who was 2, crying his eyes out. My heart ached. But I was going to be trained for “ministry.” I was told my child would “get over it because this was ministry and it was worth it.” Who propagated that lie? I believe it was Hannah who chose not to go to the feast after Samuel was born and that is exactly the time she exulted God and He recorded it in Scripture for all of us to read. I haven’t regretted too much over the years of raising my children – but that evening leaving Grant is one I do regret.

It wasn’t worth it. And I have to tell you – not once did those older women who led the training speak to me or any other of the young mothers there about seasons of life, about the priority of home and family. Not once did they challenge me about God’s very specific instructions in His Word about the high and holy ministry of home and family. Not once.

Yet that’s exactly what God says the older women are to teach the younger women. That laundry list in Titus doesn’t get top billing at a woman’s ministry conference.

Over the years, I have learned that none of the big name women Bible teachers help women in this area. They seem to see the years of raising a family as something to “get through” till you can get to real ministry. Nice older ministry ladies.

It is so sad.

To further make this point, I read with dismay an article in Christianity Today about Ann Graham Lotz on this very issue. Perhaps you know that at 18, she married Dan Lotz, a dentist and former University of North Carolina basketball star. By 21, she had three children and felt stifled:

"It is just being in a small home and small children, small little toys and small little words, and you just feel trapped," she recalled.

"I wasn't handling it very well. I was losing my temper. I wasn't patient. I wasn't kind. I wasn't loving. I wasn't the kind of mother ... my mother is."

She decided she needed to fix her "relationship with God." When Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh didn't have a Bible study class she could attend, she started one.

I read the article with great sadness as I wondered, “Where were the godly older women in her life who could help her fix her “relationship with God.”

Where were the ones God commanded to help young women know how to biblically love husbands and children? Where were the ones who could help her see home as ministry?

I know where they were – they were listening to the call of Woman Folly. The woman personified in Proverbs who calls out to the naïve, “Turn in here.” Christian women in the 50’s and 60’s listened and neglected the home, the family, and turned to other “gods.” Armed with college degrees, a growing women’s movement, birth control, reproductive freedom and I-don’t-need-a-man mentality; some sought careers, others sought playtime and leisure, while others were bored finding new ways of freeing themselves from responsibility.

All seemed to think home was drudgery. So a young woman is overwhelmed by little children? Find childcare; let someone else raise your little intruders while you fill your life with meaning. One such woman who decided to leave the home for a career was offended when her own father asked, “But who will take care of the children?” Christian women found childcare all right – down at the local conservative church. These women were encouraged by the “Christians” who would provide that “family” environment for the children who only wanted Mama. Some of these women weren’t pursuing careers though and they weren’t out doing all the godless things – no way – they were having Bible study 24/7 while the church daycare or the schools (Christian and public) were raising the children.

SAD.

As my blood boils over such things, I read Jill Briscoe’s article in Veritas. Remember I told you I’d come back to it. And I think you’ll see why. She writes:

“So suddenly I found myself with three kids and my husband gone for 10 months of the year for 10 years, and I had run out. I had become a ministry widow. After a bit, fortunately, I cried out to my “Elijah” – my Elijah was the wife of Major Thomas.

So I went to her, and I remember it took me a long time to swallow my pride and say, ‘I have had it, I am bankrupt; I thought I could do this but I can’t. I’m not the good little missionary wife I thought I was. I want my husband back. They think I am a widow every time I go and watch the soccer games. I can’t do it.’

I expected her to take well-worn Bible verses and hit me over the head with them, but she didn’t.”

So – here we have the picture – a young wife and mother seeking an older wife and mother for godly counsel about her life. Good, this is the way it should be . . . but what kind of counsel does Mrs. Thomas give?

“Instead she said, ‘It is hard, isn’t it?’
‘It is over ‘hard,’’ I replied. ‘I haven’t got it. Nothing is left.’

She looked at me and said, ‘Oh, yes, you have the little pot of oil, Jill.’ Then Mrs. Thomas took a deep breath (and she told me afterward that she took a big risk) and said, ‘I’m going to send you a couple of Bible students tonight, and I want you to go out with the outreach team. You have been shut up in that little lodge with three small children, you are away from everything that is happening, and you haven’t been involved in anything your heart loves.’”

I couldn’t believe it – oh wait – I can believe it. She describes a woman in the home exactly the way satan himself would want.

“Shut up with three small children. (They’re pains, aren’t they?) “Away from everything that is happening.” (Not much to mold and shape in the home – nothing happening there, right?) “Not involved in anything her heart loves.” (Not much to love in the home, either, right?)

The first time I read Mrs. Thomas’ reply to this then young woman, I was so angry. I still am. But this explains so much. And it explains why Mrs. Briscoe, years later, could write for www.parsonage.org:

“A mother needs to continue her spiritual and intellectual education. When an adult is around small children all day, she tends to think, eat, and talk like them. Adult company and stimulation helps keep her fresh and up on things.”

Really? I have 5 children and it has been their stimulation, their curiosity, their questions that have kept me fresh and up on things. And my spiritual education? Their questions alone have driven me to God’s Word. Real questions such as: “Who made God? How do the stars stay in the sky, does God glue them?” “What happens to our stuff when we die?” “Will Jesus come to the ground again?” “Before I was born, did you always want a Jordan?” Where was I before I was born?” “Do dogs and cats go to heaven?” “Why does Daddy put people in the water?” “What does God look like?” “Since Jesus lives in our hearts, when we eat food, does it drop on His head?” “How did you know I was lying?”

Intellectual education? "Why did the people leave England? What does infinity mean? I love you infinity times, mommy. Tell me about the Alamo. Explain long division again. Why do people kill babies in their tummies? How did the first people get chicken pox? Why do I have to get shots? Why does the spider’s egg sac look like a paper bag? How come . . . why . . .when . . ."

But didn’t I know, “When an adult is around small children all day, she tends to think, eat, and talk like them?”

I thought that was nonsense when my children were little and I think it is even more nonsense today. Frankly, I would rather think, eat, and talk like a lot of children I know ~ childlike wonder, trust, dependence, hope, excitement, ~ rather than some of the adults I know ~ cranky, cynical, distrust, moody, depressed

Jesus’ words ring in my head ~ “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

But didn’t I know that, “Adult company and stimulation helps keep her fresh and up on things?”

What is it that I need to be up on that I can’t be up on if children are around? I should be up on the world and teach my children about the world. Listen, it is and has been through the teaching and instruction of my children, both intellectually and spiritually, that has kept me fresh and up on things.

And lest you think this is the mindset of just Mrs. Briscoe, Mrs. Thomas, Mrs. Moore, and Mrs. Lotz, think again. This is the mindset of thousands of Christian women. I get so many invitations to women’s ministry events for women leaders and NOT ONCE do they teach about the roles for women God has outlined in Scripture. How can they?

Since when did God say that children shut you up, keep you away from all that is happening, and not involved in anything your heart loves? Never, not once. You search all of Scripture and you’ll never find that kind of thought. In fact, you’ll find just the opposite. See, God says that children are fruit of the womb, blessings, rewards, arrows in the hand of a warrior. Oh, Christians will affirm that truth with their lips – but their hearts are very far from it. It’s no wonder God says that young women need to be taught to love their children.

Imagine if another young woman in another time had come to Mrs. Thomas or Mrs. Briscoe or Mrs. Lotz for advice. Would they have said, “You have been shut up in that stable with a small baby, away from everything that is happening and not involved in anything your heart loves?” Would they have encouraged her to seek adult interaction? Would they have indulged her sense of “feeling stifled?” Would they have told her to start a Bible Study and put her child in the Synagogue daycare? Would they have encouraged Mary to find fulfillment somewhere else other than where God had placed her?

I doubt it. But it’s happening all over our nation. Women Bible teachers – women in ministry are giving lousy advice to the next generation. If you’re a young mother – better watch out.

It’s a good thing Mary had Elizabeth. And it’s a good thing Mary knew the Word of God – His word alone quiets the frustrations of a young mother and causes her soul to exult in Him.

And nowadays – that’s all we have.

To read my letter with questions for Mrs. Broggi, click HERE.

Going Through My Drafts

Since the kiddos have been a little under the weather this week, I'll be going through all the "drafts" of ideas for blogs that I've been storing up and pulling some random things out to talk about. I say this as if my blog isn't already random :)

Anyway, hold on! Let's see what I can drum up.

More on Kids & Common Illnesses

After my last post on homemade cough syrup, I jumped back on Natural Family Online and found this article:

Don’t Fall for These Myths About Common Wintertime Illnesses
By Christine Climer

Many parents dread wintertime because of the illnesses that tend to be more common during the cold season. We are barraged at every turn by misinformation in the media, fueling our anxieties.

An objective look at some of this season’s claims shows much less to worry about than many health reports in the news might lead you to believe. Don’t fall prey to these common myths about common wintertime illnesses.

High fevers cause brain damage and seizures.
False! A fever cannot cause brain damage unless it climbs over about 107º Fahrenheit. Fever can create febrile seizures. These are caused by how fast your child’s body temperature rises, not by how high the temperature goes.

Fever helps our immune systems get rid of infection, so in most cases, it is best not to interfere. Your child’s behavior is the best indicator of how severe his illness is -- not the number on the thermometer.

Fever increases the amount of fluid your child needs, so keep him well hydrated. (See Karen Prior’s suggestions for increasing fluid intake in our Ask the Experts section) Your child’s appetite may be limited during fever, but resist the urge to offer sugary treats to tempt him to eat. Focus on fluids, and offer small portions of nutritious foods frequently.

Kids generally feel bad when they run fever, so listen to those little bodies. Keep them in bed or another quiet, restful place until the fever is gone. Low stress is key to a healthy immune system. Avoid alcohol rubs, unnecessary baths or other activities that might cause the shivers.

Nutrients such as vitamin A, vitamin C, selenium and zinc are known to support the body’s immune function. You might choose an appropriate multivitamin and mineral supplement, or simple add these nutrients to your diet. Include plenty of orange and green produce, whole grains and nuts, dairy products or meats.

Herbalists often recommend herbs that have historically been used for fever, including catnip, yarrow and feverfew. Just remember that herbs are medicine too. Take care to follow the instructions printed on the label or given by your health care provider.

Ear infections always require antibiotics.
False! Viruses can cause ear infections as often as bacteria – and antibiotics do not work against viruses. In fact, many of the bacteria that commonly cause ear infections have learned how to survive antibiotics, so many medications do not work against bacteria anymore either.

Because the body can fight most ear infections all by itself, many doctors choose a “watchful waiting” approach. This approach prevents antibiotic resistance from worsening. The doctor simply waits it out a few days, then checks to see if the situation is improving or if it has resolved without any treatment.

A couple of drops of olive oil warmed to body temperature and dropped into the ear canal helps equalize pressure in the ear and eases pain. Herbalists may recommend adding mullein or garlic to the oil, straining before use. Applying warm or cold packs (depending on your child’s preference) or massaging gently around the ear can also be helpful. Lying down increases pain and pressure within the middle ear, so try to keep your child as upright as possible.

A few more strategies: Some parents find that a visit to a pediatric chiropractor can help ear infections. Babies who are still nursing or bottle-feeding may prefer to eat smaller amounts at more frequent intervals. And finally, research has recently shown that people who consume probiotic bacteria (lactobacilli and bifidobacteria) in their diets are less likely to get ear infections.

Cold medicines, antibiotics and humidification relieve congestion and coughs. There are times when this statement may be either true or false.

A cough isn’t just a nuisance; it is an important reflex that keeps irritants and germs from getting into the lungs. While a cough may seem bothersome, it can keep mucus drainage from getting down into the tiny places in the lungs where it can contribute to worsening infection and interfere with your child’s ability to get enough oxygen.

Most respiratory infections in children are viral, so unless your laboratory results indicate otherwise, do not pressure your doctor for antibiotics. It’s also important to recognize that discharge from runny noses may change color. Yellow-green mucus is actually part of the normal course of an illness and does not necessarily mean that your child has a sinus infection, unless it persists longer than two weeks.

If irritation and inflammation create a dry cough that interferes with sleep, sometimes a cough suppressant can be helpful at bedtime. If your child has a wet cough because of mucus, however, cough suppressants are undesirable. Antihistamines are commonly given to dry up mucus. If your child has a lot of mucus production caused by allergies, antihistamines can sometimes offer some relief -- but they just aren’t effective with colds. They thicken the mucus, making it harder for your child to clear it out of the airway.

Both cough suppressants and antihistamines make kids drowsy, which can be more of a nuisance during the day than the cough or congestion themselves. Decongestants can offer comfort if your child is so congested that he cannot eat or sleep, but these medications are notorious for hyper-activating children -- so bedtime may be a challenge.

Breathing humidified air can soothe airways and help expel mucus, but be cautious about running a vaporizer or humidifier in your child’s bedroom and never run them constantly. Not only can the equipment harbor germs, but the high humidity they create contributes to the growth of molds and dust mites. If your child is sensitive to these, her symptoms may actually worsen. A safer approach is to run humidifiers and vaporizers intermittently, or steam up the bathroom by running a hot shower and take your child into the bathroom to breathe the air for 10 to 15 minutes.

If your child has a barking cough, try taking him outside to breathe cool air for about 10 to 15 minutes. Saline nasal irrigation also relieves congestion. You can make your own nose spray at home.

Saline
1 teaspoon canning and pickling salt
½ teaspoon baking soda
2 cups purified water

Bring water to a boil; add dry ingredients and dissolve.Cool to room temperature. Store covered for up to 48 hours.

Instill a few drops into each nostril and then suction with a bulb syringe, which can often be found on the ear care or baby care aisles of your pharmacy.

Drinking plenty of fluids is the most important thing to help clear mucus and keep mucous membranes moist. Warm teas and broths make soothing choices. As mentioned above, plenty of immune-supporting nutrients are vital to healing. Vitamin C is also an antihistamine, so make sure your children get plenty, especially if they have allergies.

People who consume probiotics are less likely to experience either respiratory infections or allergies. A gentle upper body massage after a warm bath helps children relax, soothes soreness and increases circulation. Sleeping with the head elevated is helpful.

Your herbalist may recommend herbs that have been historically used to soothe irritated mucus membranes, expel mucus, clear infection and open airways. These may include things like mint, eucalyptus, horehound, thyme, mullein, evening primrose and echinacea.

Children with allergies are more susceptible to respiratory infections. Keep environmental allergens low by vacuuming and dusting frequently, changing air filters monthly, using allergen barriers on beds and pillows, washing bedding weekly in hot water and maintaining humidity below 50 percent.

When should you be concerned?

Seek medical care immediately if your child:

• has a seizure lasting longer than five minutes or a seizure for the first time
• runs any fever at all and is under 2 months old
• has a temperature of at least 101º and is 2 to 4 months old
• has a temperature over 105º
• does not stop crying, seems confused or is unable to wake up
• seems to have a stiff neck when the head is bent towards the tummy
• has a blood-red or purple rash
• is having difficulty breathing (gasping for air, flesh between ribs sucks in when the child inhales, flaring nostrils) or takes more than 60 breaths per minute
• has unusual drooling (i.e., not related to teething)
• is coughing up blood or has bloody stools
• has blue- or gray-colored lips
• has signs of dehydration (dry mouth, no tears, no urine in the past eight hours)
• is under 12 months old, has diarrhea and has vomited three or more times in 24 hours
• has diarrhea more than eight times in the past eight hours

Call your health care provider during office hours if your child:

• is under 2 year old and has a temperature over 104º
• complains of burning with urination
• has been running fever for more than 72 hours
• seemed to be getting better but then started getting worse
• had a fever that went away for at least 24 hours, then returned
• is under 3 months old and has had a cough for more than three days
• has had diarrhea or a cough for more than two weeks
• has been vomiting for more than 24 hours
• has had a green/yellow runny nose for more than two weeks

© Christine Climer

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Christine Climer is a registered nurse with experience in pulmonary disease, pediatrics, home health and hospice services. Also trained in early childhood education, she is currently executive director and child care nurse for an early childhood health promotion organization. She lives with her husband and three children (including a set of twins) in Texas and enjoys researching health issues and gardening.

So I think for now, I'm just gonna keep feeding the boys good foods (steering clear of dairy to avoid more mucus), including our regular supplements, and let their bodies do the job its trying to do. We are due for our yearly peds visit next week anyway, so we'll see how they make out.

Homemade Cough Syrup

Little by little, I'm flying the coop, I know :)! We've had the "sickos" around here and, although I'm not sure if we are fighting allergies or colds, we have been fighting nagging coughs, and more recently, runny noses and congestion.

I'd heard that there were lots of homemade tonics that did a good job if not a better job of some conventional alternatives. So...I googled...and found this from Natural Family Online:

Thyme-Honey Syrup

Thyme is an excellent expectorant as well as an anti-microbial herb, and honey not only soothes but acts as a preservative as well. I keep this wonderful-tasting syrup in my refrigerator all winter long. It can be used for colds, coughs, laryngitis and sore throats.
• Steep 1 ounce of dried thyme leaf (Thymus vulgaris) in 1 cup boiled water, covered, until cool.
• Strain; mix the liquid with 1 cup of honey.
• Store refrigerated in a glass jar. It keeps well for several months.
• Give undiluted doses of 1 teaspoon to 1 tablespoon several times a day as needed.

We tried it and it was great. Sumo's cough had been labored and unproductive. After taking a few teaspoons throughout the day and sleeping with a vaporizer, things were loosened up and moving along much better. By the next day, there was no coughing at all. Also, we did use local, raw, unfiltered honey. I've read that this is the best kind to get.

In general we have a few supplements/habits that we use to keep our immune systems in tip-top shape. We'll continue with those while I go off now to find something to try for some of our other nagging symptoms.

Voddie Baucham on YouTube

I've mentioned Voddie Baucham on my blog before. If you want to be challenged about the importance of family in light of the crucial transfer of spiritual heritage, you can read my review of Voddie's recent book Family Driven Faith, OR you can check out one of his messages by following the link in this post, OR you can check him out on YouTube. Hit me back and let me hear your thoughts and reflections.

WFMW: Easy Clean Bathrooms

Cleaning my house is one of the HARDEST things for me to make happen. Because I'm with my children all the time and because two of them are under age 5, I have to be creative to fit cleaning in.

I'm pretty good about keeping common areas (Living Room/Game Room) straightened and cleaned. Also, my kitchen is a must. I spend too much time in there for it to be out of control.

I struggle most with my room and my bathroom. Why? Well, let's see. When I get up in the morning, I shower, get dressed, and then leave....never to return again (or at least it seems that way). My dh rises after me, so I don't have the luxury of getting out of my bed and then turning around to make it.

My biggest struggle though is my bathroom. I LOVE clean bathrooms, I just seems like I haven't ever been able to keep my clean consistently....Until recently!...

First of all, I've adopted the Flylady concept of wiping down my sink and my mirror before I leave the bathroom in the morning. It takes all of 30 - 60 seconds. I just finish my morning routine, spray some Windex on the mirror and then wipe it down (old newspapers work wonderfully). Then, I take a rag wipe down the counter top, using cleaner when it needs it.

But what about the rest of the bathroom you say? Well, here's where it gets good. When I put my children in the bathtub, what I've usually done is sit there and watch them play. Now...I get busy! Even if all I can get to is one item in my bathroom, I have 5 minutes (or maybe 10 if I need it) to completely get some area of the bathroom clean. Five minutes is all I need to clean the toilet, mop the floor, scrub the bottom of the shower, clean the shower glass, or vaccuum (yes part of my bathroom is carpeted :(

One other things that I've recently discovered. There are times when I have to do some cleaning with my boys in tow. I let them "clean" with me. By giving them something to do, I create more time to do what I need to do. The other day, I put shaving scream on my shower doors. They enjoyed playing with it and spreading it around and I enjoyed about 20 minutes of cleaning time! 15 minutes they played in the shaving cream and then 5 minutes they cleaned up their mess (with me helping of course)!


Be sure to check out Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-for-Me Wednesday tips.

If you are diabetic or know someone who is...

You may want to scroll down to the bottom of this page and turn off the music to hear this video (click the pause button)...sorry...next time I'll just post a link.

Our Breakfast Rotation

I was asked to share our breakfast rotation when I asked for lunch ideas. Let me say first of all that my rotation is BORING, but it keeps life simple and easy in the mornings when we are all finding our way. That said, here it is:

Mondays - Cold Cereal (Raisin Bran, Granola)
Tuesdays - Smoothies (mostly strawberry banana) and Muffins (all different kinds)
Wednesdays - Eggs (Scrambled, or boiled) with Toast
Thursdays - Oatmeal
Fridays - Pancakes or Waffles with yogurt. (thanks to Gracie)
Saturdays - Smoothies (again) or Yogurt and then we sometimes make a donut run.
Sundays - Hodge Podge. I've made biscuits and eggs, served fruit and toast, yogurt, or even made oatmeal again.

Yes...we do eat fruit almost every morning and, Yes...this menu is the same EVERY WEEK. We are all used to it and it means that we can move on to more interesting things. I'd love to hear your other ideas.