The More Seasoned the BETTER!

I'm fresh from washing dishes and contemplating the value of the pots and pans I have. Cabinet space is starting to go at a premium and EBAY is sounding like a good alternative for many of the dust-collectors under my kitchen counters.

I remember when I got married and received various pots and pans as wedding gifts. Each time I would cook, I would wash furiously to keep them looking new and unused. You can guess that my obsessive compulsiveness didn't last too long as more cooking blemishes appeared faster than what I could spend time cleaning.

Growing up, I couldn't understand why my Mother let her pots look "messy". Now I know...

Good cooks have seasoned cookware.

My mother's favorite pans were the usually the ugliest. My grandmother's all-purpose skillet was cast-iron...a veteran of many years. My crockpot is priceless but it has a few scuff marks of it's own.

If a pot or pan wasn't marked up just a tad, that would indicate that it hadn't been used. As a matter of fact, the very items that I'm thinking about getting rid of are the ones that look the newest. I don't have use for them. They are just taking up space.

We tend to look at folks that have battle scars or that are a little bruised as if something is wrong with them when, in fact, many of those folks are SEASONED. Living life without scars or marks of growth and use is possible I suppose, but I don't think that's what I admire the most when I look at many people, especially Christians, that have some bumps and bruises. I see maturity, perseverence, and victory. I see a conqueror, many times forgiveness, and a refusal to be bitter. I see a strong will, a fighting attitude, and a mind to make it.

Life is hard and you cannot pass through without getting a little "banged up" if you choose to live life to the fullest. And I want to be USED! I want to live and experience the life God has for me. I don't think I can do that hiding out in the cabinet trying to stay shiny and new.

Now, I do have to count the cost of my desire to "live". Sometimes that stove will get really hot and at times the refrigerator will seem dark, lonely, and cold but my choice is to experience the good with the bad or not to experience at all.

I'm learning not to be afraid of the elements, afraid of the hot or the cold, the wind and the rain, the dark and the scary. I'm learning that it is more valuable to experience life than to hide out in the cabinet.

So...I choose to be used...even if it means a few scuff marks. I choose to walk through life ready to wear any scars, bruises, or burns....as BADGES of honor, courage, and proof that I'm actively involved in my life!!!

Now....I gotta go shopping. I've been told I'm not a real woman until I own a seasoned cast iron skillet. Oh...wait...I guess I need to hold off until after I clear some of my unused stuff out and sell them on EBAY.

Don't forget...if you are interested in getting updates to my blog via email, just check out the post with instructions by clicking HERE. This way you won't miss anything! (Isn't it silly for me to think that you don't want to miss what I have to say).

Get Blog Updates w/FeedBlitz

I've made it easy for you to receive my updated posts if you'd like by subscribing to my blog. There have always been a group of folks to whom I have emailed new posts from my blog. Although I don't mind doing this, eventually I will not be able to email everyone easily (too many readers). This service will enable more folks to get updates without me pulling out my hair :) FeedBlitz is a fancy way of getting updated posts sent to your email address. Blogs are normally read through RSS Readers but most people (including me) don't know much about that sort of thing. The folks at FeedBlitz figured out a way to send blog updates to email addresses...so that normal people can do it :)

You should see a spot in the upper left hand corner of the page that says "Get posts by email!". You just pop your email address in there and click on the "Subscribe Me" button. A confirmation email will be sent to your email address. After clicking on the "confirmation link", you will be all set to go.

Also, using FeedBlitz will also allow you to add any other blogs that you want to read from other folks.

My New Blogging Home...

Well, you know me...always on the lookout for something else to learn and conquer. I have a new blog home online. I hope that using Blogspot will help me have more flexibility in designing my blog and making it more useful to my readers.

I will be moving my previous posts first and then I will get to writing some new stuff! Thanks for visiting my site and check back often... This is officially my first "new" post. If you would like to peruse the other posts on my site just go to my BlogSpot Homepage !

Bear with me as I slowly personalize the site, add more interesting links, and make the site more interesting overall. Shoot me a LINE and let me know what you think of my new "digs"! Also, feel free to forward my new Blogspot to others...

This writing adventure has been awhile in the making. I love to write and journal. I have journaled since the sixth grade. I've loved sharing my thoughts, although I've not been sure that what I have to say really matters to anyone else in the least. There have been a few people, including my sweet husband, who have encouraged me for some time to step up my efforts in publishing my ramblings. People that I don't even know very well have made it a point to tell me I need to develop this skill. So here we go...

I don't really have a "plan" for this blog other than writing about concepts that "click" for me as I live my life's story. Real life in the making...that's what it's all about.

My desire is to update this blog regularly. God regularly puts things on my heart that I'd like to share. One day I hope to publish a book. I'm still asking him what He wants me to say. Right now...I have a lot to say about a lot of things. We'll just see how it all comes together :)

In the meantime, my goal is just to share what God is teaching me and how he is teaching to me to look at my circumstances, my life, and the world that I live in. I pray that his revelations to me will bless you and provide fodder for thought as you walk your road in this life.

Teenage Madness

I'm the mother of a teenager. I remember the feeling of being a teen...of riding the emotional waves and going from a complete high to a disastrous low at the most small, microscopic change that I could experience on any given day. I remember the tears, the insecurity, the fears, the anger, the frustration, and the stress, but I also remember the loud laughter, the joy, the experience of new love, and the thrill of growing independance.

So...it is with this eye for the past that I put my best foot forward in dealing with my own dear daughter. It's hard to believe that we've reached this point with her. She's beautiful, she witty, she's creative, she's eccentric, and she's absolutely, positively, CRAZY (like most teens so I hear).

Like all teenagers she's trying to decide who she is and who she wants to be. We, the parents, are left to figure out on a minute by minute basis where she is on her journey, and what our roles are as we balance encouragement with the responsibility of training her in the ways of the Lord, shaping her character, and guiding her growing independance. This parenting job is a lot of work, it's true. Why wouldn't we want to work hard...we've invested so much in her already!

It seems no matter how well we try to do our job however, at anytime, we can become the ENEMY. For no apparent reason, walls will go up and we are left to decide exactly how we are to deal the obstruction and to figure out what the walls are there for. Has our precious teenager been injured and raised walls to protect her heart? Have the walls been erected b/c there is a growing need for independance and we are not recognizing boundaries? Or...are the walls being raised as an act of defiance? As a parent, I despise the wall b/c it's an unnecessary interruption of good fellowship.

Well, let me say that I've seen the walls go up and I'm convinced that there is only one solution. TELL A JOKE.

If the teen is hurting (female anyway), they'll just burst out crying. If they need their space, they'll laugh and you will see the gate let down for you to enter with permission but...if the wall is one of defiance and rebellion...well...NOTHING WILL HAPPEN! Why? because showing any emotion at all would let you know they care.

And so...at times...my precious daughter, who once had the fattest, juiciest thighs on this side of the Mississippi, turns into hard, cold stone and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's gone MAD cuz I've said a "funny" and I've gotten NOTHING in response.

So then...what'a a Momma to do?...

Laugh at my own joke and just keep loving on her! My requirements don't change and my standards don't change but neither does MY love or MY attitude.

Is it really that simple? Of course not, cuz I really wanna show her whose boss and have a lengthy discussion where I do most of the talking and MAKE her think clearly. I have to resist the STRONG urge to ask her the age-old question..."HAVE YOU LOST YO' MIND"? or better yet..."ARE YOU CRAZY"? I don't know why I've even bothered asking those questions in the past. Do I really expect her to say "yes", even when we both know that's the correct answer?

So, I'm trying to learn to give that up. I happen to know from experience that lecturing and questioning (in loud uncontrollable voices) doesn't bring down walls but LOVE DOES.

God the Father is such the perfect parent. He just keeps loving on us until we melt. His requirements don't change and his standards don't change, but He just keeps on loving me. Day in and day out, letting me go through my madness, knowing that when I'm ready to talk I'll come to Him.

Sometimes He has to let me cry it out cuz I've been hurt. Sometimes He has wait on my willingness to open the gate and answer his gentle knock as He seeks to be Lord over my life. And sometimes...well let's just say He has to "train" me, "encourage" me, and "guide" me so I don't get too far off track. :)

Looking back on my walk with the Lord, I can't believe at how much time has been wasted as God watches me ride emotional waves and try to figure out who I want to be in Christ. As a parent, my Father must despise my walls b/c it's an unnecessary interruption of good fellowship. No tellin' how much precious communion I've missed out on due to my living the Christian life with my bottom lip stuck out and my mind busily working to erect and keep up a wall where I just didn't want God to have access.

Wow...parenting me is a lot of work, it's true. But why wouldn't my Heavenly Father want to parent me perfectly...He's invested so much in me already by giving His only Son so that fellowship with Him would be possible!

I'm so glad to know that He understands me when I don't understand myself and knows just how to love me through my 'bouts of teenage madness.

A Slippin' and a Slidin'

Any one who knows me knows I'm clumsy. I'm not even ashamed of it anymore. I just am... and that's how God made me... and there's nothing I can do about it.

No matter how hard I try at times, a drop or a spill or a fall is just inevitable. I've come to grips with the fact that I am who I am...

Therefore...,

I've learned to slow down. There's no point in careening into a free fall unnecessarily if all I had to do to avert disaster was to take it easy.

Every morning, I go and get my sweet baby K-No to spend a minute feeding and bonding with him in quiet before the rest of the world wakes up. I sneak into the boys room (they are roomates now), swiftly scoop up the baby before he can make a sound that will wake his older brother and then ever so carefully make my way down the stairs. There's a reason why I CAREFULLY make my way down the stairs.

I've slipped and slid down the stairs before with a baby in my arms. Yup! You heard me right. I fell down the stairs with my oldest son when he was small. (This couldn't have come as a surprise to you...I told you I was extremely clumsy).

Little Sumo was fine cuz I guarded him with my life but my behind, back, and pride were extremely wounded!

You can only imagine how carefully I come down the stairs now when I have to carry BOTH of the boys down. Sometimes, Sumo gets up when I enter the room to get K-No and I have to carry one son in each arm to get downstairs in the morning. I do it EVER SO SLOWLY. Why? Cuz I'm carrying precious cargo. (oh and b/c Sumo WILL NOT be outdone just yet by his baby brother getting all Mommy's arm love).

It has been unbelievably clear that the Lord has been saying the same thing to me....not about my clumsiness but about my life. My family is precious cargo and I cannot possibly protect them and nourish them and care for them if I'm in danger of slipping up myself.

I know that it's my tendency to go "head-over-heals" deep into commitments that seemingly I just "have to do". I am so readily "caught" in situations that take me beyond my acceptable speed of living life but I can't afford to "slip up"(no pun on words intended :). So while I know that I'm a Type A, hyper-active, wanna get it all done, move at the speed of light, talk to God on the go kind of person, I realize that unless I want to risk a head on collision of sorts, I must slow down. If I take on more than what God designed for me to bear, I'm in trouble and so is my family.

You know when the Lord speaks to you and you hear His voice as you read His Word.....You hear his voice whisper and then you hear a couple of songs on the radio about what He just said to you and then the preacher later that weeks says the same thing !?!?

Well, the Lord has been telling me to slow it down through many channels, to be still and make time to hear his voice REGULARLY in a quiet place each day. For me that means getting up early and Lawd knows I go to bed too late to think about getting up early!

But something's gotta give.....something's GONNA give...

My husband and kids are too precious for me to let a simple bad habit of mine get in the way.

Learning To Love

I think of myself as a loving person, I really do, but sometimes when I look back on my actions I see a hard callous heart and I'm saddened and shocked at what lies within.

I went out tonight...to some movies with my sister and cousins....a real girls night out. Drove all the way to see a double feature at a drive-in theatre. I was so glad to get out and laughed and had a good time...but...

As soon as I drove up in my driveway and let up the garage, my two girls came charging out of the door to greet me and to bombard me with questions. At least, that's what I thought. I didn't even give them the chance.

I rolled down my window and said, "Get back in the house....GET...BACK...IN...THE...HOUSE". I just wasn't ready for my evening to end. I mean...I just got back and haven't even had a chance to breathe.

Then...I walked in the house. The kitchen was still dirty, the pizza I bought for them was still laying out, and the living room was in shambles (at least according to my standards). I immediately began giving orders.

"I can't believe that you two were home all evening and the kitchen still looks like this"

"Did you every clean up your room? Is your bed made? Are the clothes off the floor? Why not? I told you to do it earlier today!"

"Who called? What do you mean you didn't write it down?"

I don't know...I just felt violated...like the little freedom I had was taken from me and... from the very people that continue to need me everyday. Don't they have enough? How can they take more? Why do I have to continue to ask them over and over again to be obedient? Haven't I given them enough where they would respond to my requests with glad hearts and thanksfulness?

As silence fell on the house as my two dejected daughters finished their tasks and headed to their rooms, the still quiet voice of the Holy Spirit made it's way into my heart and said...

"Now you know how I feel...."

I love you...and I'm patient with you..."

"Be more like me"

Matthew 11:29 - Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart: and you shall find rest for your souls.

I'm on my way upstairs to kiss my girls and tell them I love them. Although their obedience is of utmost importance, so is my love. Lord, help me to learn to parent with love...the kind you parent me with.

Best Beef Stew

Ok...so I'm trying to be a Proverbs 31 woman and realized that a P31 woman wouldn't throw away perfectly good food. So...I proceeded to try to figure out what I could do with perfectly good remains of a roast we had earlier this week. Hmmmm....let's see! I know...Beef Stew!
But I had never made it before and didn't really know how in the world to go about making it.
I started perusing some of my cookbooks that have barely seen the light of day, only to find that Beef Stew can be a complicated thing.

Back to the drawing board. I went back to my "frig" and scoured some more to find that I had other things left over from different meals during the weak. I decided to throw a bunch of unrelated stuff in the pot, risk wasting the perfectly good leftover roast, and take my chances...

Let's see...

roast...sliced and diced...cooked carrots cut a little smaller...roasted potatoes diced...a can of corn....some frozen okra...don't forget that leftover gravy....ok...that doesn't look like enough liquid...let me add some water....ok...wait...a little more...that looks about right...now...won't all that water make the stew too watery?...i need some flavor...how about a beef bouillion cube...i've always had those on hand and never known what to do with them....let's let that simmer....ok...maybe i should add a little seasoning...ok...that one has never been used before...let me try a little random concoction of seasonings and see what i come up with ....alrighty...a little garlic power cuz garlic is in everything...

I didn't know I had it in me but....

After all of that tossing and guessing and hoping...my husband sat down to eat after having the kids on errands this morning. I asked him not to eat out w/the kiddos cuz I had made lunch. Everyone came home to eat. Jessie said that he was so glad that he hadn't stopped by Whataburger! Jessica said that the soup was better than the soup her Granny makes! We had to force feed Sumo (yes...I know there is irony here with the name) but what no big deal. We always have to force feed my preschooler so I didn't take it personally.

Wow...imagine that...later tonight Jessie said that this was the best beef stew he had EVER had. The pot throughout the day has slowly dwindled down to little of nothing as my family has eaten a little here and a little there...

Whooda thunk?

I wonder if that is how God works out wonderful creations with me. Really, he doesn't want his creation to go to waste and so he takes a little here and a little there of my leftovers that are really not good anymore standing on their own. What God can do with my "leftovers" is amazing...

God starts with Chrystal...sliced and diced...pride that's been cooked and he cuts it a little smaller...independance that's been roasted and diced ...He adds a little can of purpose....some frozen hope that she thought wasn't worth anything...don't forget that leftover prayer....even though she wasn't a prayer warrior let me work with what she gave...ok...that doesn't look like enough faith...only a mustard seed worth...let me add some love....ok...wait...a little more...that looks about right...now...won't all that love make the new Chrystal to watery and wimpy...i need some flavor...how about some of my power...I always have that on hand and never can find anyone who wants to do something with it.....let's let that simmer....ok...maybe i should add a little seasoning...ok...she can use some of the Holy Spirit's discernment and vision...and i don't want to forget FIRE cuz that one has never been used before...let me try a little random concoction of seasonings and see what i come up with such as passion, selflessness, righteousness, purity of heart....alrighty...a little grace cuz grace is in everything...

I didn't know I had it in me but....

God did and I'm amazed at the work he is accomplishing in my pot, my vessel of clay.
More than my husband loved the stew, I want to hear him say the same thing about the work that he sees God doing in the soul of his wife.

That's when I'll know that I've really turned into the P31 woman. I don't mind simmering awhile so that everything is just right. A little heat won't hurt anything :)

HALLELUJAH...We finally found the remote!

For the last two weeks, we have been without our remote. We looked EVERYWHERE, more than once, in great detail, and no remote.

I have know idea how irritating, nerve-racking, and frustrating living without a remote for so long can be. To think that we actually had to get up and turn the channels manually!
Back in the day of televisions with knobs, this would have been a small price to pay, but today when you add in satellite television, what used to be 7 or 8 channels is now 300-400 channels. You have no idea how long it takes to scroll manually from Good Morning America on Channel 8 to Sesame Street on Channel 291! It'll make a person rethink paying money for all those channels that are so hard to access!

In the 10 minutes it takes me to complete the task of moving from one television program to another, Sumo can pull off a diaper, Kano can roll off the couch, and Gracie can sneak in a nap during school hours. Needless to say, we watched a lot less TV during our remote crisis.
We looked EVERYWHERE for the remote. We reached in cushions, emptied bags, rummaged through trashcans, overturned toy baskets, and opened every kitchen drawer. I even think I looked in the car.

On this day, our day of rejoicing, I was sitting with Gracie at the kitchen table going over the day's assignments. We were discussing our Bible reading. As I explained the depth of completely sacrificing oneself and desires to God, VOILA!, there it was. Mid-sentence, I cried out REMOTE!!!!

Everyone immediately jumped from their seats and said in unison "WHERE"!?
Unbelievably, the remote was sitting on a ledge. This particular ledge faces our dining room table. It houses a picture frame, candle, and an artificial ivy plant. I pass this ledge multiple times a day. To make matters worse, this very day I reached up and adjusted the ivy. As soon as recognized the remote I realized that I remembered seeing the remote earlier that day. It just didn't "click".

IS THAT A MESS OR WHAT!?!?!

That got me to thinking....How many times is something that I seek from God right there in my face. I'm seeking, and overturning, and digging, and rummaging, trying desperately to find something that is right in front of my face but maybe just in an unexpected place.

I looked for that remote in all the "expected" and "normal" places that are known for remote loss and never once considered looking on the ledge. If I would have just gotten out of the box a bit, I would have saved my index finger all of that pain and inconvenience.

I wonder what God is waiting to reveal to me as soon as I stop trying to put Him in a box and to find him in the expected places.

What a lesson learned. Hopefully, next time I'm in need of insight, the remote won't be the teaching tool!

Being a Momma & a Wife AIN'T FOR PUNKS!!!

It occurred to me this evening as I got up to clean up the kitchen that I didn't feel like it. What was more amazing is that I realized how many times over the last week, month, and year I've felt the same way about quite a few of my new found responsibilities in wifehood, and mothering.

Truth is, there is very little room for selfishness and for whining in this place of servanthood. If I took the route of bemoaning my fate, things would only get worse and then I'd have a bigger whole to dig myself out of.

If I don't do the dishes, they pile up. If I don't do the laundry, we have no clean clothes. If I don't pay the bills, we have no electricity (worse no TV).

I can't even imagine what life would look like around here if I did only what I feel like doing. Hence, I've discovered that this path in life is not for sissies or for women who are not made of tough stuff.

I've discovered that my best days are the ones where I arise early to get myself together before the troops converge and also where I got to bed later than everyone to make sure that things are at a good starting place for tomorrow.

Today, I started dinner shortly after finishing breakfast. Putting a chicken in the crockpot made my dinner prep all of 30 minutes at 6pm. Making gravy, roasting potatoes, cooking up some rice, and throwing together a salad was almost effortless. I also, made a menu for the rest of the week that allowed me to make my grocery list, which made it possible for me to get in and out of the grocery store in 30 minutes flat. Being semi-dressed (dressed but not glamorous) before my crew arose allowed me to somewhat composed when my doorbell rang. These are small things but huge when I can sigh at the end of the day and realize that I've given my all.

A day like this shines in comparison to those where I have been depressed, feeling behind, hungry, discombobulated, and stressed. Most of those days involved my self-pity and my whining about how hard things are and how much of it I can't do.

Deciding to take my home and family on like a champ and not cowering...basically not being a PUNK....has made this day flow a lot smoother.

I tell you....everyday I live is another day that I idolize my mother's ability to keep it all together for us and then step out of the house looking like a million bucks. I'm not there :) but I figure I'll get the hang of it one day. As long as I don't punk out!

Christmas is WAY too early

I expect for the stores to bombard us with Christmas early but it seems like this thing is out of control.My neighbors have their Christmas lights up and yesterday one of the Christian radio stations was playing Christmas music.

I mean...CAN WE DO THANKSGIVING FIRST!!!

I for one love spending the holidays with family. But I DETEST feeling the pressure that this commercialized holiday puts on me to perform. I am easily stressed out when it comes to doing things RIGHT. Christmas, as deemed by our society, has too many demands and I just can't keep up. Baking, gifts, parties, holiday cards, visits, decorating, Christmas photo, etc...etc...can spell...PRESSURE AND STRESS. So....I just wanted to know if anybody else feels the same.

This year, my aim is to make this holiday special to ME! I still want to love on my love ones but not to the "nth". I aim to have a few quite evenings in front of the fireplace with a good book. I plan to watch the Sound of Music with my girls over some popcorn and some hot chocolate. I plan to keep some kind of Christmas candle burning...and I plan to shop AFTER Christmas for deep discounts. Now, if I can only get up to the guts to tell my family I don't want to go deep into the gift giving. :)