So, since that
fateful race, in an effort to not be a quitter, I have done many things...but I have not done them well or for the right reasons.
When I became an unwed mother at the age of 19, I was determined to finish college in the prescribed four years. I was determined to finish - even it meant that I graduated with the wrong degree. (WASTED TIME)
When I went through labor and refused all drugs so that I could do it naturally, I was determined to finish - even though the people who I so desperately wanted to prove myself to weren't even in the room. (PLEASING PEOPLE)
When I got my first job out of college and realized a month before I started that I'd made a mistake in my choice, I was determined to take the job and finish - even though I prayed daily for God to put me in the hospital with two broken legs so that I would have a legitimate reason not to go. (NOT WILLING TO ADMIT A MISTAKE)
When, three job later, I finally found what I thought to be the perfect job, I was determined to finish - even though I had to arrive at 6:30 am and couldn't leave until 6pm....
eating lunch only at my desk...having very little time for my daughter. (WRONG PRIORITIES)
When, I stayed committed to making a certain relationship work that I'd invested much time and energy into, I was determined to finish - even though I knew it was going nowhere and wouldn't provide me or my daughter with the kind of God-focused marriage and family life I so desired. (SETTLING FOR LESS THAN GOD'S BEST)
I could go on and on...the point is this...
I've learned that the goal is not only finishing, but finishing
well. Finishing well requires focus. Focus requires self-control. Self control is a fruit of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-24 (NIV)
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.
Many of the things that I start and don't finish are begun on a whim, without a thought given towards the commitment involved or the time required. I jump in without thinking...or praying.
Some of the things I have finished, I have not finished well because my focus was singularly on my desire to complete MY goal in comparison to completing the goal the Lord had for my life.
Our lives are not lived without mistakes. Every experience we have, God can use for his glory. He weaves our good and our not-so-good together to make a beautiful tapestry. But, oh how I want to avoid unnecessary pitfalls or wasted time.
I so want to be one of those people that lives a life of focus. A life that embodies self-discipline. I desire to go the distance in the purposes that God has given me. I don't want to live my life only to leave loose threads, rough edges, or unfinished tasks. I want to finish and I want to finish well. It makes me sad to think of times in the past when I haven't.
When I look around at all of the projects and tasks that I have yet to complete, it makes me sad to think that I will fall prey to every distracting activity that comes my way and not keep first things first.
What can I do? How can I change?
Hebrews 12:1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.How do I know which race is mine. Only God can tell me. How can I get this information from God? I have to spend time with him, I have to read his Word. No person, radio program, book, or
BLOG can give me the specific direction that He can.
And then I have to
R-U-N! My feet must then act on the Word I have received from the Lord and the power from Him that is at work within me.
1 Corinthians 9:24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.Life is hard. Life is tough. On the day when I finished that 800 meter race in third place, it was difficult for everyone. My legs weren't the only ones burning, my lungs weren't the only ones taut and tight, my thighs weren't the only ones that felt lifeless and heavy. The difference between first and third place was a matter of effort.
Running with perseverance and purpose is HARD.
Running to win is DIFFICULT.
Running with success requires SELF-DISCIPLINE.
I don't think I'm a quitter, I think I get easily distracted. Isn't that like Satan though? If he can't convince us to quit, he just keeps us distracted.
Jesus is calling me to run with him, to keep from being distracted, to live my life with purpose. He's calling me - not just to finish but to finish well.
Am I the only person whose working on focusing on the things in my life that are important to God? I don't think so. Keep at it if you are in the same boat. This life is a journey. We are constantly learning and transforming. We can rest assured thought that...
Philippians 1:6 (NIV)
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Thanks for following me through this last week of confessions. I think I've wallowed enough. I'll have something positive to post tomorrow...I think.