So...why have I been silent?

Posted in Weight Loss Journal

Sometime there comes a time in your life where you have sunk into a pit that you cannot seem to come out of. You are six feet under before you realize that you have been buried beneath ground. Such has been the case with me. Everyday I've thought about this blog and how I've been negligent, but I was too embarrassed about my state of being to show this side of myself to the world and the public in general.

For the sake of honesty and transparency, I feel compelled to share. Perhaps the very act of sharing my trouble will provide more accountability. Perhaps the decision to bare another side of myself will help me to live a more successful, productive, and joyful life.

Well, here you have it....here is the depth of my drama, the crack in my emotional sidewalk, and the cross that I carry:

Yes...that's right...I'm addicted to Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha (w/Extra Whip) and the ever-so-perfect-companion of MILK CHOCOLATE COVERED GRAHAM CRACKERS.

Why has this kept me away you say. Well, let's just say that this is representative of my eating patterns over the last couple of weeks.

Because of this sad addiction I've been getting up at 4:45 a.m. 4-6 times a week to workout. I'm still enjoying Jay's Boot Camp....or should I say ENDURING this monstrousity of a workout (can you say MILITARY STYLE).

I've been TOO TIRED to blog. At 10 - 11 p.m., my prime blogging hour, all I've been able to think about his how much sleep I need and how I have to rise again this next day.

I'm happy to say that my body has slowly adjusted and I hope to get more consistent in my writing.

Works-for-Me-Wednesdays: My Sock Solution

There are six of us in this house. The 15 year old and the 11 year old girls both share similarly sized feet as do my 4yo and 2yo boys. This equals sock pandemonium. I have two solutions. First, I have trained the members of my household (all but the 2yo) to clip their dirty socks together with a clothespin (cheap from WalMart) before they drop them in the dirty clothes basket. This equals easy-to-match socks. When the socks are folded and put away however, my oldest boys socks seemed to make their way to the younger boys and so on. My solution? A good friend of mine told me about the "dot system" My oldest boy is my number three child. My youngest boy is my #4 child. I dot their socks with the appropriate number of tiny circles (courtesy of a blue Sharpie in this case) and I never have to figure out whose socks are whose! This system also works for clothes. Now for those bright minds that are wondering what happens if I have more children or when my kiddos grow our their socks/clothes...here's your answers. I buy oldest boy (child #3) new socks. I put 3 dots on them. His old socks with 3 dots get passed down to youngest boy (child #4). I add one dot to those socks giving him a total of 4! Then if we have baby #5 (hint to hubby if he's reading this) then I can take all of youngest boy's socks (or whatever) and add 1 dot making 5! Simple enough....you will either love this system or wonder why I am making life so hard on myself :) Be sure to check out Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-for-Me Wednesday tips .

I'm not surprised...

I ran across this article from the Washington Times detailing some concerns about the vaccine for Texas girls. Whether we are aware of it or not, many of us have been used as guinea pigs time and time again, as drug companies seek to introduce pharmaceutical products that are not completely safe. Many people have experienced side effects due to drugs without knowing beforehand the risks involved. Let's not let our children be used too. We shouldn't blindly accept the vaccine as safe just because we are told it is. Be educated. Understand, all the benefits and risks.

Also, just in case you want to know. I'm not strictly anti-vaccine. However, I am definitely pro-educated choice. Our current medical technology is wonderful. It is a gift from God that our doctors and scientist are able to take use materials given to us on this earth to create healing agents. We live longer and healthier due to the discoveries of medical science. But...

Be smart. Don't jump off of the edge of a cliff just because everyone else is willing. Look over the edge of medical options available to see just how far the fall will be.


Here's an article from The Washington Times on the subject.

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VACCINE CENTER ISSUES WARNING
By Gregory Lopes
THE WASHINGTON TIMES
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The National Vaccine Information Center yesterday warned state officials to investigate the safety of a breakthrough cancer vaccine as Texas became the first state to make the vaccine mandatory for school-age girls.

Negative side effects of Gardasil, a new Merck vaccine to prevent the sexually transmitted virus that causes cervical cancer, are being reported in the District of Columbia and 20 states, including Virginia. The reactions range from loss of consciousness to seizures.

"Young girls are experiencing severe headaches, dizziness, temporary loss of vision and some girls have lost consciousness during what appear to be seizures," said Vicky Debold, health policy analyst for the National Vaccine Information Center, a nonprofit watchdog organization that was created in the early 1980s to prevent vaccine injuries.

Following federal approval of the vaccine in July 2006, a storm of legislation was introduced across the nation that would make the vaccine mandatory in schools. The District and Virginia are part of a group of at least 17 states considering such legislation. A measure had been introduced in Maryland, but it was shelved last week over concerns about the mandatory language in the bill.

Yesterday, Texas Gov. Rick Perry signed an order making Texas the first state to require the vaccine. Girls ages 11 and 12 would receive the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine before entering the sixth grade starting in September 2008.

The American Cancer Society estimates there were 9,710 new cases of cervical cancer in the United States in 2006. The District's cancer control center estimates a total of cervical cancer cases in the city last year, and the American Cancer Society estimates that last year Maryland and Virginia each had 210 cases of cervical center.

Merck began marketing Gardasil last year after the Food and Drug Administration approved it for females ages 9 to 26. The vaccine is the first of its kind to build immunity against two strains of HPV, which lead to 70 percent of cervical cancer cases in the United States.

The vaccine is not effective in men, who can get cancer from other strains of HPV.

Its side effects were reported to the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System, a federal reporting system for consumers to notify federal regulators of bad reactions to medications. The adverse events began being reported in July 2006, when an advisory panel to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommended girls ages 11 and 12 receive the series of shots.

The types of side effects reported are not cause for alarm, according to the American Cancer Society.

"We have not been informed of an instance that would call into question the overall safety of the vaccine," said Debbie Saslow, director of breast and cervical cancer control at the American Cancer Society, adding that about 70 similar events had been known in October 2006.

Likewise, the CDC will not alter its approval of the vaccine despite the number of adverse events revealed through the reporting system.

"A report to the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System does not necessarily mean the adverse event was serious or that it was caused by the vaccine," said CDC spokesman Curtis Allen. "This vaccine has been tested around the world and has been found to be safe and effective."

Merck is heavily promoting the vaccine through its salespeople imploring doctors to provide it and running TV ads urging young women to get vaccinated so there will be "One Less" cancer patient.

But physicians disagree with public health officials over whether Gardasil is the panacea for cancer. Clayton Young, an obstetrician/gynecologist in Texas, objects to Merck's claim that Gardasil will prevent cervical cancer.

"There is no proof Gardasil will stop cervical cancer," he said. "They haven't been studying it long enough to make that claim."

Merck spokesman Chris Loder said the vaccine is effective for five years and the Whitehouse Station, N.J., drug maker is not sure how long afterward the vaccine will work. Critics point out that an additional booster shot may be necessary.

Advocates for a mandatory vaccine say that although the vaccine does not prevent all causes of cervical cancer, Gardasil is an effective vaccine against the most prevalent cause and therefore is a correct public health measure.

Gardasil is delivered in three separate injections that cost $120 to $150 per injection. Blue Cross Blue Shield, an omnipresent health insurer in the Mid-Atlantic region, covers the vaccine for girls in the federally recommended age groups.

Merck revenue from Gardasil reached $155 million for the fourth quarter of 2006 and $255 million for the entire year.


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This article is from The Washington Times (http://www.washingtontimes.com/business/20070202-100152-9747r.htm)
For more great articles, visit us at http://www.washingtontimes.com

Copyright (c) 2007 News World Communications, Inc. All rights reserved.

Going the Extra Mile

We are studying E & F. I decided from the Letter of the Week that I wanted to do the egg carton project with my 3yo. Emerald, the angel in my backyard, was scheduled to come and be with him while I took the baby (yea...he's almost 2) to therapy. So I handed that project off to her.

Now...if I would have done the project, we would have cut out the cartons and DRAWN the eyes and antennae with a Sharpie.

Not Emerald...

Since it was a beautiful day, she first took Sumo outside and read the "E" and "F" books with him on the trampoline. How fun!

Then she marched Sumo out the front door and took him on a nature walk. They collected leaves and rocks so that the egg carton caterpillar would be in it's natural habitat. I had no idea of what was happening b/c I was with my little one at his appointment. When I got back home I was met with a surprise.

Here's the finished project.
Praise the Lord for photos that keep better than the actual projects!

All of this happened on the same day as our visit from the fire truck.

What an amazing day. It would have been good anyway. Emerald made it great. My 15yo made it even better by snapping great photos (in between her schoolwork) so I didn't miss out on sharing the joy!

An Angel In My Backyard

I was crashing and crashing fast. After a reeling and wild holiday season, coupled with surgery for my youngest son, my house was spinning out of control. I was sleep deprived, short on energy, and short on hours in my day. My husband was traveling so much of what was on my plate I had to do myself but he was so sensitive about my state. His solution? I needed help.

BUT I DIDN'T WANT HELP.

I was proud confident in my ability to run my household myself. I was convinced that I shouldn't need assistance with my duties as a wife and mother. I've always worked under pressure. I've always been able to keep more than a few plates spinning. In fact, I love the adrenaline rush from just meeting a deadline. I liked my life and didn't want anyone else in the picture to share the glory job that was supposed to be mine.

I listed off all the women in my life that don't have help. All of the women who I know to be superwomen or who would get help if they could but can't afford it. Whatever their case may be...it was mine too. I like being a superwoman and I CAN'T afford it.

Besides, we had tried helpers/babysitters here and there over a few years and it just drove me insane to have someone else in my space. I'd clean up before the cleaning people came, or I'd find mindless activities for the person to do while I cleaned up my kitchen! I was too embarrassed to let someone clean my bathroom, and I didn't like the idea of someone vacuuming my floor - they didn't do it like me! Even when the helper was available to spend some time with my little ones so that I could do other things that only I could do, my heart would race at the thought of someone else endearing themselves to my boys.

This is all from the same lady that 15 years ago dropped her baby girl off at the sitter at age 3 weeks and left her everyday all day from 7am to 6pm. This is all from the same lady who hired cleaning people to clean an 800 sq. ft. apartment. Maybe the pendulum swung too far the other way?

I sat in front of my computer following that discussion, paying bills into the wee hours of the morning. Somewhere between 2 - 3 am, I sighed and verbally said to the Lord, "If you want me to have help, you are going to have to bring the person to me".

Enter Emerald, the Angel in My Backyard.

Emerald, I know you are gonna hate this photo.
Take a good one next time you come over and I'll replace it!

I know Emerald from my church. I lead Praise & Worship every now and then and she sings with me. Well, Emerald called me one day out of the blue and left me a message. I didn't think anything of it but I did wonder what she needed as we were not currently working on any upcoming ministry. I received another message from her later in the same week. Seeing that the phone calls were a little out of the ordinary, I called her back promptly after the second message. Emerald told me that she'd had a dream that she was at my house helping me with the boys. She wanted to know if I needed help. You know what my answer was. Emerald went on to say that the next morning after this dream, she went to work and got laid off.

Oh, I get it. She needs some extra money and she thinks I'm rich.

I flat out told her that although Jessie would love for me to have an extra pair of hands, we really didn't have any money for that right now. Emerald told me that she still wanted to help me. She felt that her dream was from the Lord and had nothing to do with money.

WHAT!?!?!? OK Lord, what are you trying to pull?

We agreed that she could come and visit a couple of times during the holidays to help me get over my hump and to see if she would like hanging out in our household.

That will be the last straw. Once she gets here and sees firsthand how "nutso" I am, she'll never want to work here. Ms. Emerald will be blasted by the severity of my Type A-ness and run for cover!

So Emerald came. She saw. She worked. She came back....? She came. She saw. She worked again....and then asked me about working out a regular schedule for the upcoming months.

OK Lord, so you are gonna FORCE this down my throat?

We agreed to continue on our little journey together and I told her I would get back with her on the amount I could pay.

Surely, that will be the end of the road...

I came back to here a week later with an ungodly, low hourly amount. She said that was fine.

Unheard of...

So, Emerald has been coming, every week, to help me. She is nothing short of amazing. She gets "me" and seeks to do things around the house the way I want them done. My kiddos (teens and tots) love her and she has been nothing short of a Godsend.

Emerald is in school and needed a REAL job to pay for tuition, books, cell phone, and car pymt. She works 20 hours a week at that job and still helps me for the measley amount of money I can give her.

Lord, you are nothing short of amazing...

Not only did he bring me Emerald to me ( I never in a million years would have thought of her as a helper option - even if I was looking), but he brought me just what I needed.

Emerald has now been helping me for two months. She has made things flow smoother throughout our day. She has a knack for things that embellish what I'm doing in my home and with my children. Emerald always goes the extra mile. She is a hard worker and doesn't mind doing ANYTHING I ask her to do (but I still haven't had her do my bathroom). I am blessed.

I don't know how long the Lord will allow me to keep her but I needed her NOW and I'm grateful for His gift to me. He knew what I needed for this season.

So, I know you are asking...WHY IN THE WORLD IS CHRYSTAL TELLING ME THIS!?!?!

Two reasons: First of all, we moms (especially homeschooling moms) have got to get off of this I-can-do-it-all kick. As a recovering do-it-all-aholic, I am attempting to let go of the expectations I have of myself and rest in the Lord's expectations for me. Secondly, God is in the business of showing us He loves us. Who'd of really thunk that God would respond to my pitiful, sarcastic request for help at dark-thirty last November.

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking...

Everynow and then someone will take the words right out of your mouth. Your "innards" just agree wholeheartedly with what the other person has said.

Today that happened when I read this post from Lindsey over at Enjoy the Journey. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who can worship in the dark in the middle of the night. Apparently I'm not.

This blog is a great read whenever you have a few extra minutes in your day. Her blog is a smattering of thoughtful posts. I'm an always inspired after reading over at her place. Check her out!

Questions About Multi-Purpose Cleaner Answered

Q: Does the borax harm any surfaces (that you've tried), or not? I have all these ingredients on hand... I should try this! :) A: Nope....not that I've tried. The author of Clean House Clean Planet says that this concoction "can be used the refrigerator, walls, tile, shower, and toilets. " She also says that it works well on shower walls, doorknobs, fingerprints on walls, cabinets, toilet area, and trash can deoderizer. Q: Is this mix going to get a bathroom disinfected? Is a pre-schooler safe to wield it? (I don't know anything about Borax.) A: The book says "This recipe has a little bit of mildly toxic borax in it. Although technically not a disinfectant, borax is reputed to have antifungal and antiseptic qualities. Borax is toxic to ingest, so please be sure to label the bottle with the ingredients, and keep out of the reach of children." That said. I would probably give a go of the recipe minus the Borax. If you find that it works...let me know. One more thing. The author mentions using this spray with baking soda sprinkled on the surface to clean first for a more powerful clean. If you X the Borax you might want to try using the spray in conjunction with baking soda. Bottom line on the toxicity - this cleaner is toxic but probably in a much milder form than most of the commercial cleaners out there. I enjoy making these because it keeps my grocery/household costs down, because I get to choose my scents, and because it doesn't hurt my head or nose to get things clean! Hope that helps!

When Mommy's in a Rush the Kids Will Brush

I was busy making breakfast this morning. I got a late start so my schedule wasn't quite going as planned. As I stirred the oatmeal, my little ones were running a bit wild looking for stuff to get into. I repeatedly grabbed one off my bed and instructed them to stop jumping, or grabbed a pen out of a hand to stop the writing on the wall, or shooed someone away from the computer.

But when I couldn't find my youngest, I wasn't prepared for this!

Who knew that all of my hard work in teaching good hygiene was sinking in!

I was a REAL Mommy today....

I'm great for talking about all of the things I'd like to do as a Mom. I great at planning. I'm great at cruising the web looking for ideas...

but I'm not a natural doer.

So normally I envy those Moms that do nice things for their kids. I feel inadequate when I see how other Moms celebrate the holidays with their kids, and make wonderful memories. Normally, I'm disgusted with myself at the end of a day that I failed to implement my plan.

Today, however, was a new day! I actually followed through on my ideas!

Most importantly, I took Jana's suggestion and posted sticky notes all over. He ran into them everywhere. I laid his card in his car with a single rose for him to find when he got in to drive to work. On his computer, in his computer, on his glasses, keys, car window, etc. He's been giving me this sheepish smile all day :)

For my oldest daughter, a card and a single rose were in order. Just as I did for her Dad, I made sure that she would "find" them at some random point during the day.

My little ones had fun too. After leaving the gym this morning, I stopped at Wal-mart to pick up a couple of "cheapie" odds and ends. So here's how our day went:

A Valentine's balloon was the centerpiece for the table.


We started our day with heart shaped pancakes served on themed paper plates.





My preschooler worked on my arts and crafts idea for the day. My mommy's helper helped him out and, of course, took my idea WAY FURTHER than I would have ever taken it!







We strung hearts together to represent the tying together of our family's heartstrings- one heart for each member!



Kano stayed busy working on his own "project". Oh the joys of a highchair!



Our next fun thing to do was bake...SUGAR COOKIES!







I had never baked sugar cookies from scratch before...not to mention attempted to decorate.





At least we tried....

The day was wonderful. My three year old is STILL talking about Valentine's Day. Memories are a wonderful thing.

I'm so glad I followed through on one of my ideas...maybe this will motivate me to do that more often!

WFMW: Homemade Multipurpose Cleaner

I have started making my own cleaner after reading frequently about the danger of chemicals in the home. In addition, I've been trying to watch my costs at the grocery store. It's actually not hard and I have come to love the control I have over my fragrances.

I picked up Clean House Clean Planet by Karen Logan. This booked is chalked FULL of great homemade cleaner ideas! Here's the way you make your own multipurpose cleaner.

Ingredients: Liquid soap or detergent (I use Original Dawn, or Lemon Joy), white distilled vinegar, borax, purified water, and an essential oils for fragrance.

How to Make: Mix 2T of vinegar with 1tsp borax. Pour through a funnel into a spray bottle of 16 oz. (I use a 32 oz bottle so I double this recipe for my container). Fill the rest of the bottle with very hot water. Shake until the borax is dissolved. Add the 1/4 cup of liquid soap or 1/8 cup of liquid detergent last. To scent, add 10 to 15 drops ( or whatever smells good to you) of essential oil. I like to use a combination of lavender/lemon, orange/lemon, or lemon/peppermint!

Here all of my supplies...



Here is my finished product...

Be sure to check out Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-for-Me Wednesday tips.