Grandpa's Gone...

We've all been hanging out in his home, watching him breathe. He's been in a semi-conscious state and hasn't really actively responded since Sunday morning. We've just watched over him and waited. Priscilla and I have spent the night the last couple of nights along with my mother and her sister. In fact, we've all been around, in and out since Friday. My Dad came over a little earlier today along with my both of my brothers and my daughter.

There was a housefull here.

At about 2.25 pm, I heard his breathe change, I asked Priscilla to turn the TV on mute. We both walked over to him. I started stroking his head. We told him that we weren't sure who he is waiting on but we all love him and have all told him that we love him..and that it is OK to go...he doesn't have to stay here for us.

...then he skipped a breath...

Priscilla ran to get my mom, aunt, dad, brothers, and grandmother...

We all stood around him watching him take his last breaths...

I kept stroking his head and we all told him that we loved him, that it would be OK and that he could let go and go see Jesus.

He took his last breath, surrounded by his family's words of love and encouragement. The whole time I stroked his beautiful grey hair.

We recited Psalm 23, together, in unison...they say the hearing is the last thing to go...so he heard the voices of his family - children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren - as he entered glory...

Unbelievable.....

Giving Roses to the Living

What a blessing to have time. There has been time to say goodbye, time to say thank you, and to say I love you.

I've always heard that we should give people their roses while they are living. It has been such a blessing to do this as my grandfather is on his passage from this earthly world to his heavenly home. God has been gracious to give us this opportunity - to give us time.

So many times, life does not afford us this chance.

The problem is we who remain don't know with which of our loved ones we will have the time, at the end, to share special thoughts and words.

The assumptions we make regarding our time and the amount of it we personally have left represents such a false blanket of security. We maintain a false sense of comfort when we measure what we have left to finish and the time that we think we have.

I am compelled to give my roses to the people who deserve them at the moments I have available to me. To wait is to gamble.

I typed up my roses for my grandfather and walked around with them in my purse for a long time. I don't know why I avoided sharing. Thank you Lord for still giving me an opportunity even though I drug my feet.

As I left him on Friday, I leaned down, put my mouth close to his hear and read my written thoughts...

Grandpa,

I want to thank you for striving to raise your children in a Godly home and for bringing up a Christian family. I meet so many people who only wish they had the wonderful heritage that I have and I'm very grateful to you for your commitment to the Lord and to your family. I know that the only reason that I am able to give the gift of a Christian home to my children is because it was first given me by my parents. They only had it to give because they received those blessings from their parents. Grandpa, I know that however much longer I have you with me here on this earth, I'll have an eternity to share this with you but, I still wanted you to know how I felt in time. Thank you who you are, all you've done, and all you mean to me - I will appreciate you for eternity.

As I neared the end of gift of roses, I choked up as I heard him begin to say over and over, "Thank you, thank you, thank you"...

Is there someone you should bless with roses? You will be glad you gave them. The person you give them to will be glad you did too.

And My GrandPa Was Dying...

As I sit here watching my Grandpa taking labored breaths, I reminisce about the last couple of days. Today is not a day that I want to forget. Minute things, major things, random things...all things that I noticed on my journey through the last two days of my grandfather's life.

On Friday I heard my Grandpa was not doing well
We went over to spend some time
My sat around laughing and talking
but my Grandpa was dying...

His great grandchildren played in the backyard
They ran in and out
Their little voices were heard all over the house
but my Grandpa was dying...

The TV was on
CNN first, then some other mindless TV
Just something to provide a little background noise
but my Grandpa was dying

Grandchildren held his hands
Whispered sweet thank yous and I-love-yous
We wanted him to know how much we appreciated his life
but my Grandpa was dying

Great grandchildren ran to his side and stared
Trying to figure out why "Grandpa" was laying so still
They touched his hands and quietly said "Hi Grandpa"...
but my Grandpa was dying

Hospital bed, medical equipment, and medication
Litter every room of the house
Hospice nurses in and out all day long
because my Grandpa was dying

Random shouts of praise, random words of thanks
"Thank you Jesus, God is Good, Wonderful Savior"
These are all things I heard my Grandpa say
as he lay dying....

We left and went home for the night...

Saturday morning I woke up
It looks like it would be a beautiful day
I hear the little birdies singing outside
But my Grandpa was still dying...

Someone outside was mowing their lawn
Someone outside was going for their morning run
Someone outside was walking their dog outside
at the same time my Grandpa was dying

In such a weird way
Life goes on
Time goes on
Even though my Grandpa was dying

The imminent end of things has been nigh for awhile
Friends and family have had much time to say good things
Much time to tie up loose ends
Because we knew my Grandpa was dying

At first I felt calm
Took a long shower
Played with my kids
Even though my Grandpa was dying

My family needed bread
I set my hands to being busy
My heard was pounding, I needed to be
with my Grandpa because he was dying

Half of the bread got baked
The other half got in the car with me
I could finish up what I had started in my grandparents home
Because my Grandpa was dying

In and out all day
Conscious one minute and then out the next
He would talk about sports for a minute then go to sleep
because he was dying

The NFL draft was on
Normally a focal point in this house on this day
Somehow so unimportant now
that he lays dying

Sips of tea, sips of water, straws in coffee cups
Rubbing his hands, stroking his forehead
Leaning close to his face to hear his words
because Grandpa was dying

Some discomfort, a little pain
Some grimacing, very little swallowing
Lots of sleep, joy at each phone call and doorbell ring
even though he was dying

Children in Germany, London, and near Canada
Children in Houston, Maryland, and Texas
All either called or kissed him
because their father lay dying

Son-in-laws came to visit
Shook his hand and said hi
Seemed to find it hard to sit and watch
Grandpa because he was dying

Grandma was busy, oh so busy
Sweeping, dusting, straightening,
Glad for so much company
even though Grandpa was dying

Prayers, visits, songs,
Scriptures, words of encouragement
Food, hot tea, hugs, kisses
So much activity as Grandpa was dying

Great grandchildren came to see him again
Sang Sunday school songs for him to hear
Kissed him on his cheek multiple times
because their great grandfather was dying

Many times today I've hard him say things like...
"God is so good, life goes so fast
I'm so glad my children know the Lord"
even as he lay dying

It's 11:30 pm.
From across the room I watch a man I've always known
Earning each breath that he takes
because he is dying

He's a patriarch
He's a leader
He's a minister
He's an educator
He's a worshipper
He's a family man
He's a good man
He's a hard worker
He's an immigrant
He will be the first person I've known in my family tree to go to see Jesus
He's my Grandpa

Weight Loss Journey 4/22 - 4/28

Weight Loss This Week - 1.5 LB
Current Weight Loss - 27.5 LBS

LBS to go - 1.5 LBS

...Almost there...!

Workout Diary...
My accomplishment this week is that I didn't let schedule messups get to me. If I couldn't get to the gym I still worked out. Twice, I just put on my tennis shoes and just went for a walk.

Sunday - took a brisk 30 minute walk on the campgrounds of the Above Rubies Retreat
Monday - no workout
Tuesday - Spin Class @ 24 + 20 minutes on StairMaster
Wednesday - 30 minutes elliptical + 30 recumbant bike + situps
Thursday - no workout
Friday - took a brisk 30 minute walk through the neighborhood
Saturday - no workout

Eating Diary...
This week was one of good decisions. I felt very "clean" after doing the Herbal Cleanse. I didn't want to ruin the feeling by putting junk into my system. It was kind of like being on a roll :) My body has become conditioned to being treated right. It's nice to be on the road to recovery :)

Sunday (@ Above Rubies Retreat)
Breakfast - Total Raisin Brain + Green Smoothie + a bit of Scrambled Eggs
Lunch - Taco Salad + 1 Chocolate Chip Cookie
Dinner - PB&J + Cheetos + Apple
Water - didn't measure :(

Monday (Coop Day)
Early Morning - Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Breakfast - 1 cup of Total Raisin Bran + 1/2 cup milk
Snack - none
Lunch - 1 Slice of Pizza + Salad
Dinner - 1 Slice of Pizza + 1 cup of Green Beans

Tuesday
Early Morning - n/a
Breakfast - Smoothies + 1/2 Toast w/grape jam
Morning Snack - Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Lunch - PB&J + Smooth Move Tea
Afternoon Snack - a couple of wheat clubhouse crackers.
Dinner - tomato/cucumber salad + lightly steamed cauliflower followed by a toddler-sized bowl of pot roast over rice (probably about 3/4 cup) + one oreo cookie.
Late Evening - Lemon Tea w/1 tsp sugar
Water - 2 Liters

Wednesday
Early Morning - 1/2 Banana
Breakfast - High Fiber Oatmeal Walnut Cookie
Morning Snack - Banana
Lunch - Big bowl of Total Raisin Bran (waited too long to eat)
Afternoon Snack - two crackers
Dinner - 1/2 of my dinner at church (I'll save the other half for tomorrow's lunch) 1 Chicken Enchilada, 1/2c rice, 1/2c refried beans + thumb's length of chocolate cake.
Late Evening - Lemon Tea w/1 tsp sugar
Water - 2 Liters

Thursday
Early Morning -
Breakfast - Total Raisin Bran
Lunch - Total Raisin Bran (again)...
Snack -
Dinner - Tomato+ Cucumbers, Broccoli, + a tad of pot roast over rice
Water - 1.5 Liters

Friday
Breakfast- Pancakes w/ Maple Syrup
Lunch - PB & J + Banana
Dinner - BBQ Beef Sandwich + Root Beer (Friday Family Night)
Late Evening - Smooth Move Tea

Saturday (@ Grandpa's House)
Breakfast - Banana
Lunch - Burger & Fries
Dinner - Pizza

Now I REALLY Feel Smart!

My blog now has MUSIC! I finally figured out how to do it. I hope that when you visit my little home in bloggityville the melodies help you feel a little more inspired during your day.

If you are interested in seeing exactly which tunes and which artist is playing at any given moment, just scroll down to the bottom of the page. There is my music player with my playlist available for your perusal.

I'm all about making melodies in my heart. Now I can make melodies on my blog :) Hope that this little splattering of music encourages your heart to sing with praise for the King!

Enjoy!

Oh and let me know if this adds any unforeseen difficulties to the site (slow) or even if it drives you bananas.

The Importance of Having and Raising Children...

I am currently moving over posts from an old blog in an attempt to merge the two and make life more simple. This is one of my favorites. I hope it give you food for thought. If this post stirs something inside of you, please listen to Closing the Generation Gap by Voddie Baucham. At last check, his sermon is number [08] so you will have to scroll down a bit to find it. Anyway, in this message, he convincingly argues the Christians need to rethink their view of children.

Originally posted 11/06:

Gracie has to read about three current events a week then type up a written summary. Today, she documented the killing of Lebanese minister/politician. Sometimes, I look up her sources and read them to check for plagiarism. While perusing this article, I ran across the following statement:

Christians make up about 35 percent of Lebanese, down from estimated 55-60 percent before the 1975 civil war. The decline is attributed to emigration of Christians and higher birth rates among Muslims.

In reading this, my heart ached. I want the world to be influenced for Christ and to see an area where the Salt and the Light is decreasing makes me sad. Christian people are leaving this war-torn area and moving to other places, leaving behind less of God's people in a place that suffers tremendously.

Also, Christians are just not having as many children as others are. How can we possibly influence the world for Christ if we don't continue producing other people to continue the work?

So many times I hear people discussing the number of children based on what's comfortable, convenient, or desired. Rarely do I hear people discussing the number of children they have based on God's prodding to grow the kingdom of God.

Let's face it. It's a numbers game. Everything is a numbers game. The more people that believe in a particular value, the more likely those values are to infiltrate the culture in which those folks live. The same holds true for Christians and our role in society. Not to negate God's power nor to negate the minority voice, but more people typically carry more power.

How in the world can Christians expect to continue replicating their beliefs and worldviews if we base the number of children we have on the same foundation as non-Christians. Our view of our role as mothers/parents/life-givers must change.

I don't say that everyone should have 12 kids, nor do I believe that people with two children are in sin. I do believe, however, that most Christians I know (including myself) have to take a HARD look at our reasons for our attempts at opening and closing the womb (God is the ultimate opener/closer :). We must constantly evaluate our desire for children and the number of them in the light of God's purposes and plan.

This brings my role as mother into a whole separate light. I view my role as infinitely significant b/c I am raising the leaders of tomorrow. I try to see beyond learning colors, shapes, reading, and algebra. My children have to be prepared to lead in a nation of followers and to think in a country of people where a large majority are trained to be robots and to follow the herd.

Our world is dying. My children will be the tools God's uses to affect change in that dying world. My job is to prepare them. The state of affairs in the world now, and in future generations, far supersedes my desire for comfort and financial surplus. I, along with my husband, must continually check with my Father to see if I've done my part in adding to the number that are marching in his army.

Help me Lord to think of the size of my family in light of YOUR plan and purposes. Help me to view my daily routine/activities/ and sometimes grind as a series of events that lead to a glorious end for my children's future. Help me to see past "getting them to "18". Help me to my children as world-changers and to view my time with them and input as deposits to their future contributions to society.

Sneaky Smoothies...

We drink smoothies for breakfast in our house every Tuesday morning and sometimes on the weekend. I taught Gracie to make them and now she prefers me not to be involved at all.

We have a standard recipe for the smoothies and they always end up tasting something like Strawberry Banana. However, I've recently realized that good smoothies are wonderful for hiding good foods that you want to get into your family.

Here is our basic recipe (all ingredients are approximate):

8oz of milk
8-10 frozen strawberries
3 bananas
2 T Flax Seed Oil
Wheat Germ
Honey to taste
Add ice to preferred consistency

We've been known to sneak in some other items on occasion such as: Avocado, Spinach, Fish Oil, Kiwi, Blueberries, Dates (as a sweetener), Orange Juice (from freshly squeezed oranges), or plain yogurt.

This may seem weird and over the top to some I'm sure, but I assure you that it is a quick fix in the morning and the little people in our house LOVE these concoctions. We normally serve smoothies with some kind of bread or muffin. The kids don't know they aren't supposed to like spinach in a smoothie. If the color is a little "off", they never know (except for Chef Gracie) because their smoothies are served in cups w/tops and a straw (we save the cups that come with kid's meals at restaurants).

This weekend, I had the privilege of attending the Above Rubies Women's Retreat, a conference geared towards encouraging women in motherhood. A "Green Smoothie Demo" was provided for the two mornings of the retreat. I thought I was sneaky!

Here is the recipe for the smoothie I tested that I liked the best. It REALLY was good!

Enough water to cover the blades
Flax Seed (whole)
Almonds (whole and raw)
4-6 apples (whole w/skin & seeds, quartered)
2-4 bananas
1/2 head of lettuce
1/2 head of spinach




If all the variations are overwhelming...don't worry...start with something small the you know you will like. I've been making smoothies for probably four years. I started with a protein shake mix and a banana to make it sweeter. It's taken me awhile to experiment (I love routine and hate change). It's all about the journey right!?!?

Works-for-Me-Wednesdays: Coupon Organization

I've been a coupon cutter on and off for a long time. The most frustrating thing about cutting coupons is doing all the work to cut them out and organize them knowing that sometimes you will never use some. Well, I've recently stumbled upon a little system that will work for me.

I just take the coupon books out of the Sunday paper and punch holes in them with a 3-hole punch. I put them in a binder and arrange them with dividers by the week of the paper they came in. This probably sounds dumb but let me explain why it work.

A friend of mine recently told me about www.couponmom.com. This is a FREE site that tells me what is on sale for the stores in my area and which coupons give me the most bang for my buck. It also tells me for each coupon, which week and which coupon book the coupon can be located. I just open my binder, flip to the appropriate week, and cut out the coupons I need. This system has made me so happy because I can cut what I need when I need it and not spend every Sunday evening collecting pieces of paper I might never use. It also keeps me from extreme sorrow when I have weeks where I can't keep up with my couponing. I don't have to lament weeks of work gone down the drain because I cut coupons and they have now expired.

Coupon Mom also has a coupon index of sorts so...let's say I need to buy something specific and I just want to know where to find the matching coupon. I can just enter the item name and search for it. The site will tell me exactly where to find it.

I'm not one of those super couponers who pay -$5 for their whole grocery budget every month, but I DO like saving pennies. I figure my role in our home isn't to go out and make the money but I sure can SAVE some! Every little bit counts. This system allows me to save money without a huge front-end time commitment.

Hope this helps someone. It's something that makes my life easier and works for me!

Be sure to check out Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-for-Me Wednesday tips.

Weight Loss Journey 4/15 - 4/21

Weight Loss This Week - .5 LB

Current Weight Loss - 26 LBS

LBS to go - 3 LBS

...making s-l-o-w but steady progress.

Workout Diary...
Definitely got to a groove with my workouts. I enjoyed every minute of it. I have also updated my IPod and created a special workout mix. I had a blast jamming and praising while I huffed and puffed. People probably thought I was crazy. Praising Jesus on adrenalin is awesome! So, now that I'm back on my routine, I'll be trying to increase my workout time to what it was before.

Monday - no workout
Tuesday - 30 minutes elliptical + pushups + situps + squats
Wednesday - BootCamp! in the am + 30 minutes elliptical in the pm (due to Wed afternoon snack)
Thursday - Spin Class @ 24
Friday - took a walk to the store...walked back with bags as weights :)
Saturday - no workout

Eating Diary...
This week was a bit better but still not great on the carbs and the sugar. I had too many opportunities to "celebrate". I'm having to learn that even for special events I can still say no. The one thing that is still with me from my Sugar Fast is that I don't really like the idea of the sweets or carbs in my body. My mind knows that food with no nutritional value is in my system and I don't want it there. So, when I did eat sweets this week, I had very small portions. I was grateful not to be dominated by cravings and the flesh.

When I look back at my week, I see good eating at home but bad eating when eating out. I'm learning to be consistent about my food choices no matter where I am. Singlemindedness is the goal.

I also started a herbal cleanse from Advocare. My husband uses some of their products and gets a discount. I'd never done a cleanse before so I thought I'd give it a try.

Sunday (Last day of Anniversary)
Breakfast - none
Lunch - :) Cheeseburger & Fries
Dinner - Can't remember

Monday
Early Morning - Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Breakfast - 1 cup of Total Raisin Bran + 1/2 cup milk
Snack - none
Lunch - Salad
Dinner - Chicken Pot Pie (1 cup) + Broccoli

Tuesday
Early Morning - Apple + Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Breakfast - Scrambled Eggs + Toast w/grape jam
Morning Snack - String Cheese + 5 Crackers
Lunch - Half of a sweet potato sweetened w/maple syrup + steamed broccoli (2 cups)
Afternoon Snack - Too many chips with salsa (I couldn't just eat one)
Dinner - Spaghetti ( 1/2 cup noodles + 1 cup of sauce) + Salad (my teenager made it...amazing....iceberg lettuce + red pepper + apple + almonds + cucumber + cheese + bacon bits)
Water - 2 Liters

Wednesday
Early Morning - Apple + Fiber Drink (part of 10-day Herbal Cleanse)
Breakfast - Total Raisin Bran
Morning Snack -
Lunch - Meal Replacement Shake from Advocare (my hubby get a discount)
Afternoon Snack - Started with a half bag of Doritos. I was able to stop but when I ran into an unexpected hospitable gift of chocolate chip cookies...well I just lost control (talk about Buyer's Remorse...sigh)
Dinner - 1 cup of Chicken Tortilla Soup + 1/2 Salmon Caesar Salad (dressing on the side)
Late Night - Lemon Tea w/1tsp of sugar..
Water - 3 Liters (Whoo Hoo!)

Thursday
Early Morning - Banana
Breakfast - Go Lean Kashi
Lunch - 1/2 Chick Fil A Wrap
Snack - Salsa & Chips
Dinner - Variety Salad + a tad of tuna casserole (maybe 3/4 cup)
Water - 1.5 Liters

Friday (A day with too much sugar)
Breakfast- Pancakes w/ Maple Syrup
Lunch - 1/2 of a 6 inch Subway sandwich + Chips + Cake(Preschooler Birthday Party)
Dinner - Taco Salad + a little peach cobbler and ice cream (Date w/hubby)

Saturday (@ Above Rubies Retreat)
Breakfast - Bowl of Total Raisin Bran + Banana
Lunch - Turkey and Cheese Sandwich on Crescent Bread w/ Vegetable Soup
Dinner - Grilled Chicken, Steamed Veggies, Wild Rice, Wheat Roll + a thumb's length of cheesecake.

A Super Sonic Family Night Disaster...

Last night we decided to go and hang out after dinner. We loaded into the car for a "surprise ride". This is what we tell the kiddos when we don't want them to ask question :)...and we want to build excitement about where we are going. So last night, we headed to Sonic. I found a new Sonic while running an errand one day. It is HUGE and has a nice playground set on sand. We knew it would be messy but we figured the kids would have fun. They did have fun and the fun lasted right up until our last 10 minutes.

The drama started with our two year old, K-No. The play area is surrounded by an iron fence and he decided that he didn't like it. We laughed as he put both of his hands on the fence and tried to lift up. He strained and huffed and puffed, throwing his head back and grimacing because of his overwhelmingly effort. It was a hoot.

The iron fence was situated over a two foot concrete wall. From the ground the two foot concrete wall rose up and then the iron fence rose up, supported by the wall. He decided he could get more leverage if he climbed up on the concrete wall and stuck his legs through the opening between the wall and the bottom of the fence. We laughed at that too....until he fell. He fell trying to get down and so he landed smack on his face. As soon as he got up, we saw that his mouth was filled with blood and he had a bruise in the middle of his forehead. He was screaming bloody murder.

Less than a minute later, the 4 year old, Sumo, started screaming too. After a solid hour of playing in the sand without event, he had finally decided to get sand in his eyes. He screamed louder than K-No and wouldn't let anyone help him. He just took off like a wild man, rubbing his eyes and hollering at the top of his lungs.

So much for a fun family night.

We were eventually able to calm both of them down. K-No left with a swollen lip and Sumo held a baby wipe over his eyes on the way home, looking like he was in mourning. He asked for a new baby wipe every 60 seconds, claiming that the old one was "de-wa-ty".

Chalk this one up to a family story we'll tell for a long time.